


Breathe My Name

by LadyDanielle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: After Camlann Merlin Big Bang, Canon Era, M/M, Magic Revealed, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 02:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 52,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12002832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDanielle/pseuds/LadyDanielle
Summary: Canon-au in early season five. Merlin reveals his magic and the deadly prophecy looming over Arthur and Camelot. When Arthur takes his anger out on the warlock, Merlin flees but leaves behind a magical crystal to show Arthur the truth of his actions. Arthur seeks out the benefits of magic and the source of the prophecy of the Once and Future King & Emrys. The prophecy presents a clear choice and Arthur must decide if bonding with a sorcerer is worth saving Camelot.





	Breathe My Name

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and make no profits. It’s all for fun.
> 
> Author's notes:I am honored and grateful to be a part of this amazing acbb fest. Huge thanks to my stellar beta-goddess, thismaz, who wrangled this story into a readable format. And to bluemoondreamer for stepping in at the last minute to help beta the end of the story. And the art! I am glowing at the amazing art from mella68, please check it out- love it! Hope you enjoy this. Thanks to the mods for all you do.
> 
> Artist's notes: It's always fun to participate in the After Camlann Big Bang, especially with this great author. Lady Danielle wrote this wonderful story I had the pleasure of making fanart for. Thanks for the good read.

   


"Are you trying to be funny? Just say what you need to say," Arthur said, rolling his eyes.

 

"I tell you I have magic and you think I'm joking?" Merlin said, raising his voice. "To you, I can't even do _this_ right."

Arthur rubbed his temple and opened his mouth to argue, but instead let his eyes follow Merlin as he stood up and walked in front of the fire. He looked taller and more imposing than Arthur had ever seen. Merlin whispered unfamiliar words and closed his eyes, as the firelight cast a soft glow onto his brown tunic.

  
“Merlin, what...” Arthur started again, annoyed. He was tired from today's unsuccessful hunt and just wanted to relax with some mead and easy talk by the fire.

The fire swelled suddenly and there was a swishing sound similar to a strong breeze through a forest. Sparks of light crackled from the tips of Merlins fingers and floated in a sort of dance, swirling around the fire, in sync. Arthur sat up straighter watching Merlin and gazing at the orange, scarlet and crimson sparks that lit up the dark night.

They coalesced into an orange ball that hovered above the flames.

 His servant's hands were raised, directing the fireball and two amber lights were glowing where Merlin's eyes should have been. The ball began to spin and then transformed into the shape of a deer. The figure's legs moved and it lurched forward into a galloping motion around Merlin's head. Two more fiery figures- men on horseback- pursued the deer. The man in front, who clearly was supposed to be Arthur from the crown and red cape, pulled out a crossbow and fired. The fire arrow flew around Merlin and struck the deer.

In one fluid move, Arthur pulled his sword from its scabbard and the tip landed right beneath Merlin's chin. The deer vanished.

Merlin stilled instantly, then stammered "Ar...Arthur, wha...what are you doing?"

"Why have you brought me here?" Arthur asked angrily, eyes never leaving Merlin's face in case he made a sudden move. "What are your plans, sorcerer?"

"I don't have any...plans," Merlin muttered. "What do you mean?"

Every muscle in Arthur's body was taut. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, preparing him to strike at the slightest provocation.  


Merlin frowned and reached one hand out toward him, "Arthur, I would never h-"  
  
Without thought, Arthur lowered his sword and watched as the back of his empty hand connected with Merlin's cheek, knocking Merlin backward, dangerously close to the fire. Merlin staggered and whipped his head around to look at his attacker. Arthur gazed back, surprised at his own action. His right hand was still holding Excalibur; his left hand had turned red where he had struck Merlins face.

Merlin slid his hand across his wounded cheek and it came away red with blood from where Arthur's ring had cut him. “Arthur? I..,” Merlin trailed off.  


"You have magic, and as such you will be taken back to Camelot and dealt with-"

 Arthur was interrupted by Merlin's sobbing gasp. “Arthur, please let me explain.”

 Arthur frowned and made a decision. "You never did play by the rules did you? All this time you had me fooled." He took a step forward, causing Merlin to step back. He smiled glibly. "What were you waiting for Merlin? Just the right time when we were alone? Too far away for anyone to know what _really_ happened? 'No knights,' you said, 'Let's spend a few days hunting.' I should have known something was up. You hate hunting." Arthur continued speaking in even tones, distracting Merlin and slowly backing him up towards the rocky cliff against which they had built their camp. "I, on the other hand, love a good hunt." He had Merlin pinned, sword extended, trying to keep every advantage against whatever magic he might try.

 "Are you planning to kill me?" Merlin asked, looking directly into his eyes.

 He flinched at the words. What _was_ he going to do? He should run this sorcerer through without hesitation, but... it was Merlin.  
  
"If you would please put the sword down, we can talk about this.”

 Arthurs eyes narrowed. "Yes, ok _Mer_ lin. That's what I'll do. Let me just put my sword down. Maybe we can cozy by the fire and chat."

 Merlin glared, "You do realize I could stop you with only a thought.”

They stood face to face, as they had all those years ago, in the lower town market. It felt ridiculous and frightening, simultaneously. Arthur was trying to keep the upper hand here, but if Merlin used his magic what could he do?

 "Yes, well, maybe you forgot this is quite a special sword. You told me it works even against magic." Arthur drew it very close to Merlin's head waving it slowly, daring the sorcerer to make a move.

Merlin looked horrified and his eyes welled up. His face crumpled and he slowly slid to the ground landing on his knees in front of him, head lowered.  
   
Arthur backed up a step, suspicious.

"I told you years ago, I am happy to be your servant... until the day I die,” Merlin whispered to the leaves in front of him. "If this is that day, then I will know that I served and protected you as well as I could. And..," he continued, "it has been an honor to have been a part of your life and your destiny." He hung his head low giving Arthur every opportunity to use his magical sword, if he so wished.

 Arthur stared down in front of him. His best friend was on his knees before him- a sorcerer... and Arthur was threatening him. His chest tightened, his breath shallow, mind dizzy.  
  
Merlin was still and supplicant. After endless minutes, he looked up into Arthur's eyes. Arthur dropped the sword to his side. He could feel tears on his cheeks and he was shaking.

"Arthur... Arthur?" Merlin said with concern.

Arthur looked back at him, heart shattering. He stabbed Excalibur into the ground causing Merlin to flinch back against the rock. Then he let out a gut wrenching howl, turned and fled into the woods.

Arthur crashed through the trees, not feeling the branches scratching his face as he stumbled on with no destination in mind. He couldn't breath. Couldn't think.  
  
After a while, he stopped, gasping and wishing, for once, he wasn't wearing layers of constricting chainmail. His head pounded as he tried to normalize his breathing. He dropped onto a broken log and examined his bruised hand, another reminder that what had transpired was real. Magic right under his nose. For years.  


Lies. Deceit. He ran his hands through his hair as his pulse quickened with anger again, but underneath was a stabbing pain in his heart that hurt like nothing ever has. He closed his eyes and tried to force calm by thinking of Geoffrey's boring speeches and Sir Leon's lengthy crop reports, but it was impossible to stop thinking about Merlin's betrayal.  
  
He stayed where he was until the cold seeping into his bones was too much and he wondered why the king of Camelot was hiding away in the woods.  
  
He rose slowly and walked back toward the camp. This was his kingdom and magic was against the law. The sorcerer must be dealt with. But, Merlin was the sorcerer. These thoughts clashed inside his pounding head like two warriors in battle.  
  
As he neared camp, he saw the light of the fire. Merlin was resting close to the warmth on a short stump. He was looking out into the woods unmoving, staring into the darkness.  
  
Arthur stopped to watch him. Merlin didn't look any different. Arthur studied the man as Merlin tentatively reached into his pack and pulled out the flask of drink that kept them warm on cold nights. He unscrewed the top and took a small sip, followed by a very large one. He stood, dragged the stump closer to the fire and pulled Arthur's pack beside him.  
  
When it seemed his flask was empty, he reached into Arthur's pack. Rooting around, he pulled out Arthur's flask.  
  
“Don't even think of drinking mine,” Arthur said without realizing he was going to speak. He stepped forward, into view.  
  
Merlin's head whipped toward him and Arthur walked over to the fire and around to the opposite side from Merlin. He sat down on a flat rock.

Merlin froze with the flask in hand. Arthur waited and then indicated the flask with a nod and raised an eyebrow. Very slowly, Merlin stood, still hunched over and crept toward Arthur like a frightened child. He laid the flask down at Arthur's feet and moved quickly back to his side of the fire. Arthur sighed. And drank.

They sat for quite a long time saying nothing, not really moving. Occasionally Arthur was aware of Merlin shifting nervously. Finally, Arthur broke the silence. "I almost killed you,” he said. “I... I wanted to kill you."

Merlin clenched his fists and looked down at his feet. "I will leave at first light," he offered.

Arthur only stared at Merlin silently and finished his drink.  
  
Merlin turned away and lay down using his pack as a pillow. Arthur knew he wasn't sleeping, but he didn't want conversation. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Sorcery was a crime in Camelot and his servant had broken the law for the last ten years. Yet, he knew he would never follow through with the execution of Merlin. Leaving might be the best option for him.

  
Even Gwen, whom he'd found in Lancelot's arms, he could not harm. He had felt so lost without her that he forgave her indiscretions so they could marry. They had a solid union as king and queen of Camelot and he could wish for nothing more. The people loved her and she kept him grounded.  
  
But, Merlin betraying him seemed so much worse. More intense than Agravaine, Gwen, or even Morgana. Merlin knew how he felt about those deceptions. He knew Arthur valued honesty and integrity above all else. And yet, he still had deceived him. Was Merlin in league with Morgana, he wondered. He couldn't be. If Arthur truly believed that, he wouldn't be lying across from him right now.  
  
He stayed awake until deep into the night trying to figure it out. His mind spun with possible scenarios and how to deal with Merlin. When the first streaks of light danced across the sky, Arthur dozed off.

 

 

Disoriented and what felt like hung over, Arthur roused and sat up. He hoped to smell breakfast cooking by the fire, but when he looked around, he was alone. The events of the previous night flooded back and he felt ill.

Merlin. Merlin was magic. Merlin was gone.

He knew he should be relieved, but all he felt was hollow and numb.

Noticing Merlin's horse was still tethered to the bush where Merlin had tied him the evening before, Arthur glanced toward the woods and wondered where Merlin would go on foot. Ealdor maybe? His mother would take him in. She had been kind to Arthur and made him feel what it might be like to be cared for by a mother.  


He tried to eat a bit of bread and cheese to settle his stomach, but it didn't help. Arthur rubbed his temple to ease the throbbing, but all his thoughts were of Merlin, which only made it ache deeper. And not just in his head.

He stood up to pack.

He knew it was ridiculous. He should be more worried about an escaped warlock who knew all the ins and outs of Camelot and of the king, but he only felt betrayed _again_.

If Merlin had wanted to kill Arthur, he'd had plenty of opportunity, even the previous night. But, Merlin had only seemed sad and resigned. Even after Arthur had struck him, he had crumpled at his feet with fealty.  


He grabbed a rock and threw it hard at the trees, venting his frustration. When he reached for another one, he saw an odd shaped crystal lying on his pack that twinkled unnaturally. He eyed it cautiously and picked it up, holding it on his palm. It was about the size of his fist, clear with a pointed end. It looked out of place in the forest and it felt warm. He dropped it, shivering.

He stalked around the stone, pulling his sword, just in case. After a few minutes of nothing happening except for him feeling foolish, he put his sword down nearby. He was drawn to the crystal, so he picked it up again.

It definitely was warm and it felt _comfortable_. When he saw the twinkle again, he dropped it a second time. As he watched it, the crystal began to glow.

 "Merlin,” he whispered. He looked around nervously, as if the wayward sorcerer would jump out of the woods.

 As if Merlin's name was a key, the crystal pulsed. Arthur noticed movement within the light. He leaned close enough to touch it with his fingertip and picked it up again. Instantly, an image formed inside the crystal of the lower town of Camelot.

 'Ahh..." he squawked and dropped it, yet again. He leaned over the glassy stone which showed only a faint hint of light and nothing else.  
  
“What is this trick?” he asked of no one. He reached for the crystal again, held it on his palm and sat on the log Merlin had used the previous night. The crystal warmed and once again the scene flowed.

 

He saw the castle of Camelot and the merchants going about their business in the market. It was a sunny, bright day. He could see the path through town where someone was walking. He seemed to float along the road but, more incredible than that, he felt a distinct sensation of excitement and happiness.

He watched entranced as the scene unfolded, showed a crowd in the square. High on the parapet stood his father sentencing Tom Collins to death. In that moment, he felt a rush of fear. He couldn't explain how, but he clearly got the message that this was not a safe place to be and definitely not safe for magic. And the thought _What am I doing here?_ found its way to him, though he heard no sound from the crystal.

He blinked. The scene changed and he saw himself throwing knives at a wooden shield held by a servant. The feelings emanating from the crystal were a bit like _resentment and intrigue._ He remembered that day. That was the day he first saw Merlin.  
  
The Arthur in the crystal spoke, _“So I don't know you?_ ”  
  
_“I'm Merlin,_ ” the voice replied, unmistakeable though he couldn't see the face. He saw his own face laughing in disbelief, through the eyes of Merlin.

Arthur looked away, pain stabbing through his gut as he saw the beginning of what would come to be his deepest friendship. He had now also seen the end. A relationship built on lies.

He kept watching.

  
Merlin's memories and feelings flooded into him through the crystal. It felt odd, like invading Merlin's privacy. But, he must have left this crystal for Arthur to find. Arthur could do nothing but sit on the log, mesmerized.

He scrambled for his sword when, through the crystal, he saw a torch-lit cavern and a huge talking dragon. _"There must be another Arthur 'cause this one's an idiot,"_ he heard Merlin's voice say.

 _"Perhaps it is your destiny to change that_ ," came an ancient rumbling reply. Arthur snorted.

 _"Without you Arthur will never succeed. Without you there will be no Albion."_  


It was late morning now, he laid the crystal down beside him. He had no idea what his next action should be and that never happened. Or if it did, Merlin was always there to help talk him through it.

  
Merlin had surely left this for him to find as an explanation. But why? And why had he stayed so long in Camelot where magic was a crime?  
  
His servant had been privy to all the secrets of Camelot. Much damage could be done if this information was diverged to neighboring kingdoms. If only he knew Merlin's motives. He had served so faithfully over the years, saving Arthur's life several times, caring for people and befriending everyone. A malicious Merlin felt... _wrong._

But looking at the facts, as Arthur was trained to do, he could see motive.  
  
Merlin had magic and Uther created a kingdom that eradicated all sorcery and charms. Merlin had known folk who had been persecuted. His people were punished for the mere mention of magic. Merlin placing himself at the heart of Camelot, in the royal household, would give him opportunity for revenge.  
  
Only, that hadn't happened. At least, not as far as Arthur could tell.  
  
Maybe, Merlin was colluding with Morgana, feeding her all the information and only pretending to be loyal. That is why she was always able to elude Arthur and the knights.  
  
None of it sounded feasible for the wooden-headed Merlin he thought he knew. But, Arthur had been deceived. Merlin wasn't actually the clumsy fool he pretended to be. It could be a lengthy plot to capture Camelot, kill Arthur and place Morgana on the throne.  
  
Arthur's stomach soured at the thought. His instincts were screaming that Merlin would never do him any harm and Arthur wanted to believe that. He had been wrong too many times before to trust his heart.

He glanced at the crystal and reluctantly reached over and picked it up. It pulsed with magic and he thought he should be afraid but he wasn't. "Why didn't you tell me, Merlin?" Arthur asked.  
  
Instantly, he saw Gaius's face angry and very close. _"You can never let Arthur know about your magic, Merlin. It's too dangerous. Uther would have you killed without a second thought."_

Gaius, of course. He must have known all along.  
  
The feelings flowing off the crystal were _frustration and fear._ Fear of losing his life, fear of Arthur finding out. “Did he think so little of me that I would harm him,” Arthur said sadly and again remembered his reaction to Merlin's confession.  
  
Then Lancelot was on his horse riding through woods. He leaned in closer to the stone. Lancelot said, " _You're the bravest of us all and he doesn't even know it.”_

 _"He can't, not yet._ " Merlin's voice replied resolutely. “ _I'm afraid of what he will do if he discovers my secret. I can't take a chance he'll send me away. How will I protect him?”_  
  
“Protect me?” Arthur startled, as he realized he'd spoken outloud.  


With a pulsing magical thrum, the crystal revealed Arthur pushed out of the way of Mary Collins' thrown knife, a poisoned goblet lifted to trembling lips, and snakes from Valiant's sword called forth by Merlin's magic. As the events played out in the crystal, Arthur felt _panic_ and a surge of _protectiveness_ radiating from Merlin.

The scene shifted again and Arthur recognized the Cave of Balor. And his mission to prevent Merlin from dying because his father was trying to teach him a lesson. He had retrieved the Morteus flower, but almost been killed. He saw himself hanging off that ledge by one arm, and remembered how he couldn't escape in the dark with the deadly spiders almost upon him.  
  
He also remembered being alone except for Nimueh who had left him to die. Merlin had not been there to form this memory.

The crystal pulsed blue, then white. He heard Merlin's voice saying, “ _Arthur, climb faster_ .” Feelings of _frustration_ and _exhaustion,_ but _determination_ poured from the crystal _._ The light orb appeared. So it had been Merlin helping him out of the darkness that night.

He watched himself climb to safety and the orb disappeared. But Merlin's feelings in the crystal did not.  
  
_Relief. Annoyance._ The emotions radiated from the crystal, up Arthur's arm and into his core. He started and almost dropped the crystal. Breathing quickly, he felt his servants foreign sensations wash through him. _Merlin was relieved that Arthur was safe because it was his duty._ Arthur breathed deeper as more of Merlin's emotions filled him.  
  
_It was Merlin's duty to protect this prat of a prince and even if he didn't really think he was king material, he wasn't going to shirk destiny._  


Arthur stilled. Duty? Destiny? He shook his head to clear it, then reached forward and placed the crystal down on the ground at his feet.  
  
Merlin had been dying, yet with magic, he had saved Arthur's life. It appeared that Merlin thought it was his mission to protect Arthur. And Merlin didn't think much of Arthur as a man.  
  
That was the message coming through the crystal. And he had no idea what the talk of destiny was about. Hadn't the _dragon_ used that word? The fact that Arthur was remembering a dragon's words was proof he needed to take a break from this.  
  
He looked up and noticed the sun was beginning to set. He had spent the entire day watching the crystal memories. His stomach grumbled to let him know it had been ignored too long, so he went to hunt some dinner.  
  
Once he had cooked a few rabbits over the spit, satisfying his hunger, his mind returned to the whirling thoughts of everything he had seen in the past hours.  
  
Watching the crystal had occupied him until it was too late to ride back to Camelot. Gwen and Leon weren't expecting him for another day, so that left him this time to try to work through all this Merlin mess.  
  
He stoked the fire and laid out his bedroll. It was odd being alone. He couldn't remember the last time he had been alone in the woods. Maybe when he was a boy and had snuck off for some peace in the outdoors. He always loved being in the forest but his father had insisted he be escorted by two knights. Old, boring knights who ruined his freedom and fun.  
  
He wanted to sleep, but when he settled in the lure of the crystal was too much. He leaned up against his pack, crystal in hand and immediately new visions formed.

He saw the view of the town from a small window. Arthur recognized the tiny room, off the physician's quarters. He breathed in the thoughts as they seeped from Merlin's memories.  


_I don't belong here. My magic doesn't belong here. Arthur will be fine. I almost died drinking that poison for him! He's an arrogant prat. He has no idea everything I have to do. Running around after him all day, then helping Gaius. When I'm not running errands for those two, well, I have to save crops and destroy magical creatures and save lives._ Arthur heard a sigh and then saw hands block his vision. _“MERLIN!_ ” he heard his own voice shout. “ _Get your lazy backside out here and fetch my armor!”_ Arthur winced and set the crystal down.

He sat quietly for a moment considering what he had just witnessed. There were times when his servant had been quite moody and extra unruly, early in his service. Honestly, he had thought he was just trying to get under Arthur's skin.

Merlin was a sorcerer hiding his potentially, quite potent, magic right in the royal household.

He was so young when he came to Camelot, Arthur remembered. They both had been not much more than rambunctious boys. But Merlin was a boy with magic in Uther's kingdom. Arthur admitted to himself that he hadn't made it any easier on him. Of course, he hadn't known Merlin was running around doing all of these extra...tasks.

He reached again for the crystal, looking it over, feeling the warmth in his palm. Merlin must have had many worries in that pea-brain of his, not the least was his father or Arthur discovering his secret. Plus 'saving the prince' from magical threats, it seemed. He leaned near the crystal and asked "What scared you, Merlin?"

The crystal replayed the frightening encounter with the Questing Beast. F _ear. Worry._ Gaius standing above Arthur's prone body on his bed. “ _You have to do something, Gaius,_ " Merlin begged.

_"There is nothing I can do. The Questing Beast is a magical creature. As the dragon said, only a priestess of the Old Religion has the power of life and death. You'll need to travel to the Isle of the Blessed to get help."_

Arthur watched wide eyed and felt the _fear_ when Merlin arrived on the deserted, dark isle, seeking any way possible to save his prince's life.

The sequence of events that played out shocked and astonished Arthur. Merlin offering himself and tricky Nimueh using Merlin's mother as her sacrifice. Merlin chasing Gaius down to stop him from taking Hunith's place. The final confrontation between Merlin and Nimueh left him breathless, knuckles white around the crystal, even if he already knew Merlin had come away alive.  


The story Merlin had recounted after the event certainly left a lot of the real details out.

The after-effects of this magical showdown seemed to weigh heavily on Merlin. _Happiness for Arthur's recovery. Fear of his own abilities._

After a short break to catch his breath and accept the truth of what had happened, Arthur looked back into the crystal where Gaius and Merlin were seated at the table in Gaius' rooms, eating. _“I don't know if I can do this, Gaius,_ " Merlin said softly.

_"If you don't, who will, Merlin? Who can protect Prince Arthur against these magical threats?"_

_"I know. I can't let him die. He's my friend."_

How many times had Arthur pointed out that they couldn't be friends? Princes and servants didn't have that kind of relationship. Yet, somewhere between drinking poison and following him to Ealdor, it had happened. And not just on Merlin's part. Arthur sighed. It was the betrayal of that friendship that still rankled. Merlin had seen every piece of Arthur; every mood. They had been side-by-side for everything.

But after all that, Arthur didn't know Merlin at all. These emotions he was feeling from the crystal were none he had ever associated with his servant. Why had Merlin kept all of this from him? Arthur felt empty and hurt inside, like everything he had known had been scooped out with a dull spoon

Merlin never let on that he was upset. Ever. Most of the time he was happily shuffling along gathering herbs or sharpening Arthur's sword. Merlin had supported Arthur through everything though his own life had been a mess.

"Merlin. Maybe I could have helped," Arthur said “You could have talked to me.”

The crystal sparkled and Arthur saw himself walking along the bank of a stream. “ _How can I admit that I think about her all the time?”_

He remembered that conversation about Gwen. Merlin had been encouraging him to pursue the maid. Honestly, Arthur hadn't been interested at first, but Merlin pushed him and she was pretty, and he knew her and she did ground him with her sweet smile. For all Arthur's strengths, love and romance were low on the list. He felt awkward around women. But with Gwen it was easier.

Gwen had become an amazing queen for Camelot. Her honesty and empathy for the people were a true asset. She kept him in line, as did Merlin, and like Merlin, was never afraid to tell his king _exactly_ what she thought of him. Arthur relied on it.

His attention turned back to the crystal when he was enveloped by a sharp pang of Merlin's _jealousy_. Merlin's voice sounded upbeat, yet there was a sadness in him Arthur hadn't noticed the first time around. _Jealously. Regret. Longing._  
  
Arthur frowned and stared off into the dying embers of his campfire. What was Merlin jealous of? Perhaps Merlin felt displaced. Before, they spent most waking moments and many evenings together. But as things progressed with Gwen, Arthur would spend more time at her cottage, which did change the dynamics of his relationship with Merlin.  
  
Arthur had felt a similar jealousy when Lancelot came to town. Merlin had been quite fascinated by the man and they became fast friends. Lancelot even shared Merlin's tiny room for a time, which had bothered Arthur. Not that it was any of his business what his servant did in his free time, or who he did it with.

As it turned out, Lancelot had eyes only for Gwen, which should have disturbed Arthur more, but at the time he had felt relief that he wasn't sweet on Merlin. Arthur needed to know Merlin was there for him at all times, not distracted somewhere else. Arthur paused mid-thought at that. The crystal was dropped gently onto his bedroll at his side as Arthur shook his head and wiped his hands over his eyes. It was late and his mind was getting confused. Tomorrow he would go find Merlin.

  
  
Whether Merlin was servant or sorcerer, he was undoubtedly the absolute worst Arthur had ever encountered when it came to stealth. There had been countless hunts when just his chattering and loud stomping gave their position away easily. The evidence before Arthur now was a trail of broken bushes, muddy boot prints, and apple cores. It wouldn't take long to catch up with him.

After an hour or so of carefully picking his way through thick undergrowth and over uneven ground, Arthur paused to let his horse drink at a stream. It was clear that Merlin had also stopped here. Scattered crumbs on the bank was more evidence. He retrieved the magic crystal from his bag and studied it again, feeling the dull pulse of power within it. He was becoming addicted to watching and feeling Merlin's memories. And there was so much to see. Each vision played havoc with his emotions, as he saw and felt Merlin's perceptions of the events that shaped his time as prince and later as king.

But he was getting close. The tracks Merlin had left were scarcely three hours old. With a sigh, he put the crystal back in his pocket and set off again.

It was mid-morning before he finally tracked Merlin to a hidden area of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Most men wouldn't come through here due to legends of ghosts and magic. Arthur glanced around at the serenity of this place, thinking he had never felt the fear some of his knights had voiced when their patrols came this way.

"Merlin?" he called, "Merlin!"

A flicker of light caught at the corner of his eye and pausing only to tether his horse to a bush, he cautiously approached the entrance to a small cave. He squeezed through the tight opening, hand on the hilt of his sword. The light got brighter as he entered the cave, an orange glow that flickered across the stone of the walls. Rounding a large boulder in the floor, he entered an open space.

Merlin was sitting on the cave floor, leaned against a wall staring down into a warming fire. He didn't look up or acknowledge Arthur at first, but after a moment, without looking around, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

 Arthur was caught off guard by the bluntness of the question. "I...I didn't want to leave you out here by yourself."

Merlin looked up then. He looked tired. His eyes were red and they were framed by dark circles. "You must realize now that I can take care of myself," he said. Arthur didn't need the crystal to feel the animosity radiating from him. "Or have you come to drag me back for trial?"

"What? No. I..." Arthur trailed off, unsure what to say. He fished the warm crystal from his pocket and held it up. "You left this for me."  
  
Merlin turned his head away and sighed. "Yeah. That was in case you wanted to know...what happened."

"I did. I mean...I watched and now I know. A lot of what you've done," Arthur said.

He stared at Arthur, then his shoulders slumped. "Look, Arthur,” he said. “I can't do this. I'm not sure why you're here, but I left like you wanted. I just want to be alone." Merlin's voice broke and his eyes filled. He wiped his nose and stood up, walking further into the cave.

"Merlin," Arthur said softly. "I'm sorry for my...what I did when you told me-"

"You...hit me," Merlin said, hand touching his cheek.

"I was angry. I am angry. You lied to me, you betrayed me...kept things from me when you knew how I felt about that... so many others... but I never thought you..." Arthur breathed to regain his composure and tamp down the anger that was rising within him. He had been so wrapped up in watching the memories he had forgotten his fury and the main reason for it. The lying. "Why did you finally decide to tell me?" The question came out without thought, but he realized he needed the answer. There had been no hostile sorcerer after him, no magical beast prowling the night. No threat of bandits, not even Morgana causing trouble, at the moment.

Merlin slowly turned back around and focused on him for a long moment. "I knew how you would react," he said, shaking his head. "I've had years to practice, in my head, what to say. And to play out what you would do. You proved me right. That's why I put off the telling." He rubbed his hand over his cheek, then stood and started pacing across the width of the cave. He put his shoulders back and said, "I decided it was time. There was something more important than saving my own skin or having you mad at me."

"What?" Arthur prompted eventually, when it appeared Merlin was not going to explain further.

Merlin finally stopped pacing, took a step closer to Arthur, and spoke with a serious tone. "I don't expect you to believe me now, but _please listen to this warning_." Arthur was taken aback at the force at which the last was delivered. "There is a prophesy," Merlin said. "A druid will be your downfall in a great battle. The druids are a peaceful people, but this has been foretold. And I believe I know who he is.”

“Who? If you know a plot against your king, it is your duty to tell me.”

“Mordred.”

"Mordred? He is a trusted knight of Camelot," Arthur countered.

Merlin exhaled loudly and then said, "All the more reason to watch out for him. He's close and you trust him. I haven't been able to figure out his plan."

"That sounds very familiar," Arthur chided and watched Merlin's face fall.

"I've done all I can. Just, please be careful," Merlin said softly. He walked to the fire and sat back down. It felt like a dismissal but Arthur was not finished.

He took three steps forward to confront Merlin, but Merlin's head suddenly lifted and his eyes widened. Arthur stopped. Merlin was looking over Arthur's shoulder, toward the back of the cave. Arthur spun around. Behind him Merlin said, "Father?"  
  
The wispy figure standing against the far wall looked familiar. Arthur dredged his memory.

"Balinor?"

 

  
  
Merlin scrambled to his feet and stumbled past him to stand in front of the ghostly man. “I thought you were dead. Are you really here?” he asked.  


“Dead or alive; real or imagined. I will always be, just as you will always be, my son. Emrys,” Balinor said, smiling at Merlin.  
  
Arthur had seen Merlin talking to the dragon in a few of the crystal memories but the link between Balinor and Merlin had not been revealed to him. It did make sense in a Merlin sort-of way. Merlin had grieved after the dragonlord was killed. Arthur had assumed it was grief for the fate of Camelot. And Merlin had gone with him to face the dragon explaining after he regained consciousness that he himself had dealt the mortal blow. After everything he had witnessed through the crystal, he now questioned what had actually happened with the dragon. Arthur guessed it too had been a lie.  
  
Suddenly Balinor was standing in front of him. He nodded his head respectfully. “King Arthur, we meet again.” Arthur stared back at the iridescent-blue form who turned to look at Merlin. “It is not a coincidence that you were drawn to the Crystal Cave at this time.”  
  
Merlin walked over next to Arthur so they stood shoulder to shoulder. He tilted his head and asked, “What do you mean, father?”  
  
“You found the courage to tell Arthur about your gift. You are ready now to fully embrace your power and step into your destiny as Emrys.” He smiled proudly at Merlin and looked at Arthur, “You stand side-by-side with your king and that is what is needed.”  
  
“Well, I wouldn't say we are totally standing together...” Merlin's voice trailed off and his eyes looked down at the cave floor.  
  
Arthur exhaled softly, very aware of the gap between them. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt so divided. Merlin always balanced things for him and eased the weight of his kingship.  
  
“There is a dark force gathering. Magic and the Crown must be united to save the realm,” Balinor continued.

“Mordred,” Merlin's head snapped up and he turned to look at Arthur.  
  
“Morgana,” Arthur added with a sigh.  
  
“It is time, my son, to take the next step toward protecting all that you love,” Balinor said with a glance at Arthur. “You must go deep within the crystals and receive that which is yours, Emrys.”  
  
Merlin hesitated, looking at Arthur, but Balinor touched his son's shoulder gently and said, “It is your destiny.” Merlin followed him toward the back of the cave. Balinor waved his hand and Arthur saw a narrow opening through which a white, pulsing light was emanating.  
  
“Wait!” Arthur cried out. “What do you mean, receive what is his?” Father and son looked back at him, startled. He hadn't meant to sound so... worried. “I mean... is this safe? For Merlin?”  
  
Balinor smiled. “Yes. Very safe. Wait here, please, Your Majesty.”  
  
Another dismissal. He frowned and eyed the sliver of light skeptically, but what did he know of magic and crystals?  
  
Merlin followed Balinor through the lighted entrance and they were engulfed by light.  
  
Arthur went back to sit by the fire. He would wait here until he knew Merlin was safe.  
  
He stirred the fire a bit and ate the last pieces of cheese and bread in his pack. After what felt like hours, long enough that he used up the last of the wood Merlin had stacked near the fire and had to go out to collect more, there was still no sign of Merlin, so he reached for the crystal in his pocket. At least this Merlin could be summoned whenever he wished.  
  
Settling his back against his bed roll, he held the crystal in his cupped hands and stared into it. He watched Merlin jump into the path of the deadly Dorocha and his heart froze, just as it had when he had been there. He remembered the desperation to get Merlin back to Camelot, to save him. When Lancelot returned to them, Arthur was sure his servant was dead, but a miracle had happened instead.  
  
Gaius had said no mortal could survive the touch of the Dorocha. Arthur had never understood how Merlin didn't die. Now that he thought about it, there had been several occasions that Merlin has escaped death. Maybe it had something to do with his magic, but he had known other sorcerers who had died. Remembering Balinor's words, he wondered whether Merlin was more than just an ordinary sorcerer.  


So engrossed was he in his thoughts, that he startled when Balinor appeared beside him and he quickly hid the crystal in his pocket. Balinor lowered himself down and sat beside him, back against the cave wall.  
  
“How is Merlin?” Arthur asked.  
  
“He is quite amazing.” Balinor smiled and looked at Arthur without further explanation.  
  
Arthur marveled that he was in a magic crystal cave talking to Merlin's dead father. There seemed to be no end to the oddness associated with magic.  


“What does Emrys mean? It it a title?” Arthur asked, trying to stir the conversation.  
  
“Emrys is more of a prophecy. It is foretold that Emrys will free magic for all the people of the realm,” Balinor said. “He will stand beside the Once and Future King to bring peace and unity to the lands, creating a golden age.”  
  
Arthur frowned. “Merlin is supposed to do this?”

“He doesn't just have magic, My Lord. He is magic itself. He wields a power he doesn't understand, yet. The elements, the sky, the sea, the earth are all his to command. It is said that Emrys is the most powerful sorcerer ever to walk the earth.”  
  
Arthur must have looked startled, because Balinor chuckled and said, “There is nothing to fear, Your Majesty. I know you have been taught otherwise, but it is Merlin's destiny to protect you, as the Once and Future King. Hasn't he already been doing so for many years?” He leaned in close and continued softly. “I believe he would protect you at any cost.”  
  
Arthur leaned back against the cave wall. The memory crystal had shown him over and over Merlin's loyalty and the protection he had given Arthur. But Arthur had always known where his servant's fealty lay and now he had the rest of the puzzle to put it all together. “And, you believe I am this Once and Future King?” he asked. He remembered Merlin using the phrase a few times, but he hadn't questioned it; thought it was more of Merlin's gibberish.

 “Yes. Your aura shines gold and you wield the immortal sword. I suspected when I met you, years ago, when you were just a prince. The prophecy is centuries old-.”  
  
“Wait, are you saying that thousands of years ago someone predicted I would be this Once and Future King and Merlin this Emrys?” Arthur interrupted. “Who said this?”  
  
Balinor sat thoughtfully for a moment, then said, “It is a widely accepted prophecy. Most magic users have the knowledge. The druids may have the ancient scrolls.”  
  
"So my entire life has been planned out? Like I'm some puppet for the old religion?" He would search out those ancient scrolls, he decided, and see exactly what this prophecy said. If he found them, they might say something about what Merlin had told him about the druid who was apparently destined to be his doom. Mordred seemed like the last person who would harm him. Apart from Merlin, that was.

“Don't take these prophecies lightly, Your Majesty,” Balinor said. “Just because you don't believe them doesn't mean they are untrue.” His words were so timely, it was as if he had Arthur's thoughts. Maybe he could. Arthur let his head fall into his hands. It was starting to ache.  


They sat in silence for a while until Arthur heard the crunching of stone underfoot. He looked up at where Merlin had disappeared into the light.  
  
What he saw caused him to scramble up so fast he nearly tripped. He whipped his sword out. “You! What are you doing here? Where is Merlin?”  
  
Standing in his faded ragged red robes was the cantankerous old sorcerer, Dragoon. The old man's face looked alarmed and raised his hand to his chin, stroking his scraggly white beard. _“Edniwe min geoguð_ ,” he said.  
  
Immediately, his hair began to shorten and turn brown, then black. His wrinkled face faded back into youth and then it was Merlin .  
  
Arthur's sword clanked to the cave floor. Merlin was Dragoon.

  
Merlin's face crumpled and he cast his eyes down. “Arthur, I...I am sorry. I needed a disguise,” he took a hesitant step forward and said, “I didn't kill your father. You know I wouldn't. I tried to save him.”  
  
“Then what happened?” Arthur asked, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He didn't want to see any more magic. He didn't want any more revelations. Without waiting for an answer, he picked up his sword and shoved it back into his scabbard. “I've had enough of this,” he mumbled, grabbing his pack and not looking at Merlin.  
  
“It was Morgana,” he heard Merlin say. “With help from Agravaine. Gauis found a charm around the king's neck that reversed my healing magic.”  
  
Arthur stopped.  
  
Morgana and Agravaine. These old family wounds kept rising back up to hurt him. He had trusted them, defended them and he had been wrong. Arthur was trying not to put Merlin in the same group, but the betrayal he was feeling was making it hard. Intrinsically, he knew Merlin was on his side, was loyal and meant well. His methods, however, were reckless.  
  
“Merlin, I know you were trying to help...” Arthur began, but his words were lost.  
  
_“Sypian dwolcræft_ , ” Balinor said, drawing his hand from Merlin's head to his boots. A blinding light lit up the entire cave and Arthur turned away.  
  
When he looked back, Merlin was glowing. Not the eerie blue light of Balinor. This was a pearly, silver glow that surrounded him like a halo causing him to shimmer.  
  
Arthur stepped back, but he wasn't afraid. Merlin was... beautiful. Like the gods described in the sagas. Maybe he actually _was_ a god.  
  
Arthur swallowed and his eyes trailed up and down Merlin's body in wonder.  
  


  
Merlin's blue eyes held his gaze for a moment. Something fluttered in Arthur's stomach and he couldn't look away. Merlin broke the stare and looked down at his silver arm. He turned it over and ran his other hand gently down it. Arthur resisted the urge to reach out to touch, too. “It's the new magic,” Merlin said.

“Are you Emrys now?” Arthur asked. This definitely was not his old Merlin. The clumsy, stubborn friend. This powerful man standing before him was no servant.  
  
Merlin smiled shyly and shrugged, “I've always been Emrys. I guess, now, I have the magic to back it up.” Merlin walked forward to stand very close. He cocked his head and his eyes raked over Arthur. Arthur felt the flutter again and his breathing went shallow. “I can see your golden aura so brightly now, Arthur.”  
  
Arthur stared a minute longer until his heart was beating unnaturally fast. It reminded him of when he was enchanted to Vivianne. He shook his head, coughed, took a step back and looked at Balinor. “What happens to Merlin now?” he asked.

  
Balinor stood up. “Merlin is laden with magic that needs to be absorbed so that he can control his new abilities. He will stay here with me for a few days, until he can wield it safely.”

  
Arthur's head was spinning from the whirl of emotions. “I must return to Camelot,” he stated picking up his belongings.  
  
“I need to talk to you, Arthur,” Merlin said, following the king out of the cave.  


Outside, Merlin was still vibrantly silver, but glowing a bit less now. Arthur turned toward him expectantly.  


“I am sorry, Arthur.” Merlin walked beside Arthur's horse and petted him. “It was an injustice. Me, waiting so long to tell you. It was not my intention, but it never seemed the right time.”

Arthur moved to his side. “We spent almost every minute together. Surely, there was some opportunity?”  
  
“Maybe 'not the right time' is...not exactly what I meant, “ Merlin fidgeted with his tunic then looked at Arthur, who raised his eyebrow for him to continue. “I...I didn't want you to hate me or send me away.”  
  
“Surely you knew I would never hurt you.” He paused, remembering his immediate reaction when Merlin did finally tell him. "Not seriously. Not really."  
  
“Sending me away would have hurt more than _anything_ ,” Merlin said quietly.  
  
Arthur recalled the feelings of desperation and duty Merlin felt toward keeping him safe. “Yeah. I felt that from the crystal.”  
  
“What do you mean 'felt it'? Merlin asked, scrunching up his face.  
  
“Your memories are in here,” Arthur pulled the crystal out of his pocket and held it up. “I saw everything through your eyes. I felt everything you felt.”  
  
“What?” Merlin's face paled and his eyes widened.  
  
“What's the matter?”  
  
“Nothing,” Merlin stepped a few paces away then returned. Then he said in a high-pitched tone, “Well, now that you know everything... we can just talk it out. You won't need the crystal anymore.” His face twisted into an odd smile.  
  
A fake smile. It was obvious there was something he was hiding. Merlin was terrible at concealing his feelings. How he kept his magic hidden all these years was a mystery.  
  
“I haven't finished watching,”Arthur said.  
  
Merlin began wringing his hands. “Well, if there's something you need to know... just ask.” His voice sounded odd once again. Arthur was beyond curious, now convinced that Merlin didn't want him to keep the crystal.  
  
“I wouldn't even know what to ask. I didn't _know_ that you were a dragonlord,” Arthur argued. “I haven't had the chance to watch ten years of memories.” He tried not to shout but his frustration got the best of him. He needed to know the truth, finally and he was tired of these games. “And anyway, Balinor is right. You need to rest and work with your...magic.”  
  
Merlin deflated at the truth in his words. “I'm going back to the castle,” Arthur added.  
  
“What will you say?” Merlin asked softly, “About...me?”  
  
Arthur stared at him. Nothing was worked out between them and it looked like it wouldn't be. Not today. He would have to return to Camelot without Merlin. That would raise questions, as Merlin never left his side. “I'll just say that... we got word Hunith was ill and you went to Ealdor,” Arthur concocted.

“Oh, good, ok. I think I might do that...go to Ealdor...when I'm through here,” Merlin said, looking at Arthur expectantly.  
  
“They'll be missing me by now. Don't want Leon sending patrols after me. I have a few things I want to...check into,” Some ancient druid scrolls for one, Arthur thought. “I'll ride out to Ealdor at the end of the week. We can talk more then.”  
  
Merlin's lips curled up into a tiny smile. He seemed to glow brighter. Gods, it was impossible to stay angry at him. Arthur reached out to pat him on the shoulder.

  
“Arthur, don't!” Merlin tried to back out of Arthur's reach, but his arm brushed against Arthur's hand as he pulled away. At the contact, an incredible jolt surged up Arthur's arm into his chest. It felt like fire, but it wasn't hot.  
  
He heard Merlin's voice, but it sounded muffled. “ Arthur! Are you alright?” His head was foggy, and his body felt like it was pulsing and buzzing.  
  
A surprising warmth moved through his torso near his heart, then trickled down to his fingertips and toes, coating him on the inside with a peace and lightness he had never felt before. It felt like home and love. He shook his head and looked around. Merlin was as close to him as possible, but clearly restraining himself from touching. “I'm sorry, Arthur. Are you ok?”  
  
“Yeah...yes.” Arthur cleared his throat. “What was that?”

Merlin's cheeks tinged pink as he lowered his head, “My new magic wants to get to know you.”  
  
Arthur's stomach flutter was back and he felt a bit warm. Must be from the magic lightening.  
It was time to get back home.  
  
“I better be going,” he said, still looking at Merlin who smiled. Arthur walked a few steps toward his horse, but then turned back toward Merlin . “Will you be alright here?”  
  
“Yes. I'm perfectly safe.”  
  
As Arthur swung up on his horse, Merlin said, “Wait! The crystal.”  
  
“Not that again,” Arthur said grabbing the reins. “I'm taking it with me, Merlin.”  
  
Merlin reached his hand to the horse bridle. “No...I mean... it's not that. What if you need me, while I'm here?” He motioned for Arthur to hand over the crystal. “If something should arise,” he gazed at Arthur seriously, “call me through the crystal. I'll hear you.”  
  
Arthur blinked. “You can do that?”  
  
“I think so.”  
  
Arthur dropped the memory crystal into Merlin's open palm. Merlin rubbed his hand across the top of it and whispered a few words. There was a spark and then he said, “It's done.”  
  
Arthur put the crystal back into his pocket, gazing in wonder at the sorcerer standing before him. All this power, all this loyalty- for Camelot. For him. “I'll see you at week's end,” he said gently nudging his horse forward.  
  
The sun was low in the sky and he would have to ride hard to make it to Camelot before dark.  
  
He rode off, leaving Merlin still standing at the cave entrance. But once he was out of the Valley of the Fallen Kings, he brought his horse to an abrupt stop. He dug down into his pocket and wrapped his fist around the crystal. “What are you still hiding, Merlin.”  
  
He would ask that question of the crystal again, and learn the answer, later in his chambers. He longed to be back in the familiarity of room, his routine and away from the madness of the past few days. It was only then that Arthur realized there would be a gaping hole in his routine that he had no idea how to fill.  
  
  
The stable hand ran out to meet him as Arthur arrived back to the citadel. He handed over his mount and climbed the steps quickly, hoping to avoid conversation with anyone.  
  
Sir Leon met him at the top of the staircase. “Welcome back, Your Majesty. We were worried,” the knight smiled. Arthur returned the greeting with a plastered-on grin.  
  
“How has Camelot faired in my absence?” he asked, as he normally did.  
  
“Fine, Sire. You missed the meeting on the grain stores, but I can fill you in later. All is well.” Arthur silently thanked Merlin for that small piece of luck.  
  
“I will be retiring to my chambers, Leon.” Arthur turned to head down the hall, and added, “Will you send Gaius to my room?”  
  
“Is everything alright, My Lord?”  
  
Arthur hesitated, then said, “Yes.”  
  
Leon said, “Excuse me Sire, but where is Merlin?”  
  
“Oh... yes. We got word that his mother was very ill. He rode on to Ealdor to tend her.” Arthur despised lying more than he could say, but he could not tell Leon what had happened yet.  
  
Leon frowned, but said nothing.  
  
“Is there something else, Leon?” Arthur added.  
  
“No, Sire.”  
  
Arthur entered his chambers and began removing his mail, which without a servant, was much harder. He splashed his face with water and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His face looked tired, and aged. In his pocket, the crystal weighed heavily. Merlin's absence was everywhere. In the fire in the hearth, in his bed normally turned down with fluffed pillows, in the silence that stared back at him from the window. It was rare Arthur ended his day without Merlin here with him.  
  
A knock at the door woke him from his thoughts and he put on his kingly face. “Come in.”  
  
Dressed in his mossy green robes, Gaius hurried into his chambers. “Sire, I heard news that Hunith is ill.”  
  
Arthur studied the man who had been colluding with his sorcerer-manservant and wondered if he should continue the charade. But, no. These lies would no longer be tolerated in his kingdom. Arthur's actions would no longer be handled or shaped without his knowledge.  
  
“Sit, Gaius.” The old man snapped his head toward Arthur and looked wary as he sat at Arthur's table. “Hunith is fine. She is not actually sick.” He waited a bit and was not disappointed in the lifted eyebrow. “Merlin told me about his magic,” he continued and watched Gaius's face pale.  
  
“Is he...is he alright, Sire?”

“Yes, he is. I left him in a magic cave.” Arthur stated. “With Balinor,” he added for effect.  
It worked. He reached out quickly to steady the man before he fell off the chair.  
  
“Gaius, I know you helped Merlin with his magic and advised him over the years. There will be no executions, but there will be some... changes.” He paused to let the physician catch up. Gaius nodded in acknowledgement.  
  
“What do you mean 'with Balinor', My Lord?”  
  
Arthur relayed the story of Merlin's magic revelation and his upgrade of power in the crystal cave. He decided to leave out the part about the memory crystal. It felt too intimate.  
  
“I will be conducting my own research into the possible benefits and potential dangers of magic. There was mention of ancient scrolls about the prophecy of Emrys and the Once and Future King.” Arthur kept his face schooled and used his Council Voice. He knew Gaius had extensive information about all things magical and would most likely know where the scrolls were located. He also knew Gaius could be selective with his words, twisting slightly when needed or feigning innocence. He'd seen the man in action over many years and understood more now that he knew about Merlin. “Gaius, do you know where I may find these scrolls?”  
  
Gaius seemed to wither slightly where he sat. He looked up at Arthur with tired eyes “I suppose the druids might have them? If I may ask, what is Merlin's fate, My Lord?”  
  
Arthur struggled not to roll his eyes as Merlin did when scolding him for something. Gaius using honorifics meant he was still on guard and wary of Arthur's intentions.  
  
“I told you no harm will come to Merlin. He will be going to Ealdor after his time at the cave. I told him I would meet him there at the end of the week to discuss...things.” He finished not as strongly as he wanted to, but he honestly wasn't sure what would happen until he had more information. He needed a real conversation with Merlin, and if the thought of seeing him again caused that flutter, he took a deep breath and locked it away.  
  
“He is immensely loyal to Camelot and you, Sire. His years have been spent protecting everything, even at his own sacrifice,” Gaius said.  
  
“Yes,” Arthur said. “This, I am now well aware of, Gaius. And he has my thanks. Though, I would have appreciated knowing what was going on behind my back and understanding what was influencing my decisions.”  
  
Gaius showed that he understood Arthur's meaning with a nod. “Yes, Sire,” and he added “But, he was also protecting himself.”  
  
Arthur waited for his previous question to be answered fully and finally Gaius gave in. "Somewhere in the forests on the border with Escetir there used to be a permanent settlement of druids. If there is a place where fragile artifacts such as scrolls are kept, it would be there. But you know, Sire, that there has been much bloodshed and violence directed at the druids over the years. Go unarmed and they should talk to you. Especially if you mention, Emrys,” Gaius said.  
  
“Thank you, Gaius. I will let you know if I need anything further before I leave on this quest.”  
  
Arthur took a seat and fumbled in his pocket to feel for Merlin's crystal. He wanted no interruptions as he considered the events that had brought him back to Camelot without his manservant. He was at the point of pulling the crystal out when a soft knock on his door heralded Gwen's entry.  
  
“Arthur...,” Gwen said hesitantly. “May I join you this evening?”  
  
She was wearing her dressing gown and robe. Her long dark hair was combed out instead of braided, as she wore it during the day.  
  
“Of course,” he said beckoning her in.  
  
“It's just- I haven't seen you in a few days and thought it would be nice.” Gwen came in and sat down at the table, smiling.  
  
Arthur stood, went to the door to hail a passing servant and asked for wine and fruit. He could barely remember the last time they had lain together as man and wife. It was true that they had shared many intimate nights early in their marriage, hoping each time that an heir was in the making, but now, three years later there had not been one sign of a baby. Gwen had started to pull away after her first year as queen, their passion diminishing. Arthur had not made a fuss. Most evenings they shared dinner together and then went to their separate chambers. He would play chess with Merlin or spend an occasional night in the tavern with the knights. Arthur was never alone and never felt lonely.  
  
Gwen was truly an asset to his kingship. She ruled fairly and was adored by the people. He was indebted to her in her role as queen and how she had created support for the children and the needy in the lower town. She had a clever head and she never missed a thing. He loved her deeply, even if that love had matured into a partnership that benefitted them all.  
  
“How was the hunting,” Gwen asked.  
  
“Not a success.” Arthur replied. It certainly had been unlike any hunting trip he had ever been on. He looked up from his thoughts when the servant returned with the wine & food tray. He smiled at Gwen and poured two glasses, sitting in the chair across from her.  
  
“I heard Merlin's mother is ill? Is he in Ealdor with her?” Gwen asked, sipping her wine. She leaned forward and plucked a few grapes from the bowl. When he didn't answer, she looked at him. “Arthur?” Whatever she saw on his face made her jump up and come around the table to his side. “What is it?” she asked, sitting on the edge of the stool at his side.  
  
He set the glass down and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to hide, but his shaking hands gave him away.

She coaxed him up from the chair and onto the bed, where she held his hands, an expression of concern on her face. “My love, breathe... that's it... Tell me what happened...” She paused and waited patiently. Arthur had never been good at 'feelings' and especially _talking_ about 'feelings'. Tonight, though, he felt as if he would explode with all the emotions inside him. The lump in his throat was blocking the words and he suspected that was a good thing.  
  
“Is it Merlin? I've never seen you so upset. Is Hunith that ill? Oh, poor Merlin.” Gwen pulled him in for a hug and that released the dam. Arthur hadn't cried since his father died five years prior, but he knew she felt his shaking and recognized his state. She held him silently for a while until he took a deep breath and pulled away.  
  
“I'm sorry...” he started but she shook her head. She waited until he was ready to speak and he thought he had never loved her more.  
  
“Merlin...” He didn't know where to start. Another deep breath. “Merlin is a sorcerer.”  
  
Gwen blinked and raised her eyebrows in true Gaius fashion. “Is he...dead?”  
  
“What? No... no, he's not dead.”  
  
Gwen exhaled and clasped her hands together. “Oh, thank the gods...”  
  
Arthur shook his head in frustration and with a broken voice recounted the story of Merlin's confession, how Arthur tracked him to the magic cave and the experience with Balinor.  
  
“Merlin is a dragonlord, as well?” Gwen asked, eyes wide.  
  
“There's more. He is also Emrys,” he explained. “Do you know that name, Gwen?”  
  
She had paled and was nodding her head. “Yes,” she whispered. “I heard about the coming of Emrys from my mother. She was of the old religion.”  
  
They sat there on the bed, Gwen fiddling with the sash her dressing gown. Arthur was already feeling better for spilling everything out to someone. She wasn't judging him, just listening. Gwen seemed as shocked as he had been.  
  
Abruptly, she rose from the bed. “Arthur! Do you think it was Merlin who saved my father? Remember when everyone else was dying and the poultice was found under his pillow?”  
  
“I have no doubt that was Merlin,” he replied pulling out the crystal and placing it on his palm. He wanted her to know everything. He trusted her completely. “This is a memory crystal. Merlin left it for me so I could see all that he has done for the kingdom. Tom wasn't the only one he saved.”  
  
“All this time he has been protecting you, hasn't he? Has he been protecting us all,” Gwen asked, awed.  
  
Arthur shrugged, waiting for her to get to the part where she was angry about at the lying and betrayal, but instead she clapped her hands together and said, “I'll bet that's how he helped with the un-dead army. And the Lamia.”  
  
He gently placed his hands on her shoulders to make her listen. “He lied to me for ten years. He is a _sorcerer_.”  
  
“Is that why you are so upset? Arthur, Merlin would cut his heart out rather than betray you, you know that. In here,” she poked him in the chest. “You know he is loyal and would lay down his life for you and Camelot.” She looked him in the eye and waited. He turned away.  
  
“There are many things you don't know, Guinevere. Things he did, the ways he manipulated me... I had no idea what was going on in my own kingdom; in my own castle. He didn't trust me enough to tell me...even after my father died...” He trailed off and stood up and walked over to the window, looking into the night. “I struck him. I almost killed him...” He shivered at the memory.  
  
Gwen came over and embraced him, pulling him back over to the bed. “Shhhh... It's ok.” She stroked his forehead and comforted him like a child. He let her.  
  
“Your relationship with Merlin has always been...intense. I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it, you were angry.” She continued talking softly and snuggled up close to him. “What will you do now?” she asked.

He pulled himself free of her arms and rolled onto his back. “I have decided to make up my own mind about magic. Without anyone else's influence,” he stated. “My father had strong beliefs, but I feel he might have been blinded to some of the truth. He drilled into me how much magic corrupts and I have seen its terrors.” He thought of all the destruction Morgana had caused over the years and shuddered. Arthur felt Gwen touch his arm and he continued, “I don't believe Merlin is evil, or corrupted. Apparently, there is a prophecy about Emrys and the Once and Future King. Merlin believes I am that king.”  
  
Gwen slowly propped herself against the pillows. “What does that mean?”  
  
“It means, Merlin and I are supposed to have some sort of great destiny to fulfill. That's what I want to find out about first hand. Not heresay from Gaius or a deceased dragonlord. Even Merlin isn't clear on the whole thing.” He looked up at her. She was deep in thought, twirling her hair as she did when was weighing things in her head.  
  
“What is it?” he asked.  
  
She smiled and asked, like an excited little girl, “Can I see something in the crystal?”  
  
Arthur chuckled. Her sudden change of mood was infectious and for a moment his burden's were lifted slightly.  
  
He pulled himself up to sit next to her and together they watched memories of Merlin, or rather Dragoon, save Gwen from certain death following Uther's allegations. Arthur's mind wandered across the moments of crisis in his wooing of Gwen and somehow he wasn't surprised to see how much Merlin had been at the helm steering him back to her after the Lancelot incident.

That led to other memories and they both witnessed Lancelot's bravery and sacrifice to repair the tear between the worlds. Hearing Merlin's scream as Lancelot walked through the veil was sobering. Gwen sniffled a bit, but Arthur was grateful for the chance to see what had happened.

Interestingly, although Gwen could see the memories, it seemed that she didn't experience Merlin's feelings. Arthur felt the raw pain from Merlin losing Lancelot. _He's gone. The only one who really knows me._ He tamped down his envy, wondering how far Merlin's and Lancelot's relationship had blossomed.  
  
From the tower, the great bell tolled midnight and Arthur realized how many hours had passed. He put the crystal down after that and they fell asleep, exhausted by the myriad of emotions of the evening.  
  
Arthur woke the next morning as the sun peeked through the window. His brief confusion over why Merlin had let him sleep so late was replaced by 'Oh, Gwen's still here' and then 'Oh. Merlin's gone”.  
  
He stirred enough to wake Gwen who smiled and reached up to touch his cheek. “When will you leave?” She knew him so well.  
  
“Tomorrow at first light. I will stop first in Nemeth to talk with Mithian and Rodor about their experience of magic. They allow some magic in their realm. Then, I'll search for the druid camp.”  
  
“And who will be going with you? Don't say 'no one'.” Gwen sent him a piercing look as she sat up.  
  
Arthur frowned. He had thought he would go alone. This was sensitive information and of a quite personal nature.  
  
“Arthur, I cannot allow the king to ride around the country alone.”  
  
Arthur was irked. “I am not a maiden in distress, Guinevere.”  
  
“Arthur, please. You would never allow one of your knights to ride alone. Why do you insist on placing yourself in harm's way?” She asked, then added softly, “No wonder Merlin is exhausted all the time.”  
  
Arthur sighed and relented. “Fine. I will take one knight with me. Happy?” Her smile told him she was pleased and she kissed his cheek.  
  
After morning training, Arthur was still debating which knight to take with him. His decision was made easier when Gwaine approached him in the armory. “Sire, may I ask how Merlin's mother is?”  
  
Arthur eyed the knight before answering. Sir Gwaine had lived on the road many years and his street-wise ways gave him good perception and perspective. He might be just the one for this quest. And, annoyingly, Arthur knew he had a strong affection for Merlin. “She's doing well, I hear,” he said easily. “I have to ride to Nemeth tomorrow to talk to King Rodor and I would like you to accompany me.”  
  
Gwaine looked suspicious, but said, “Of course, Sire.”  
  
“Be ready at first light in the courtyard,” Arthur said. He could almost feel Gwaine's eyes boring holes into his back as he walked off. He smiled. He had to order someone around while Merlin wasn't here.  
  
Arthur had a servant pack supplies for at least a week, so they would not need to waste time hunting for food. He wasn't sure exactly where their journey would lead them. But if magic was involved, it would surely be unexpected. He carefully placed the memory crystal into his pocket.  
  
Once he and Gwaine had ridden a few miles outside of town, Gwaine suddenly stopped his horse and stared at him. Arthur wheeled his mount around and waited. “What is it? Bandits?” He asked, hand going to the pommel of his sword. He looked at Gwaine for a signal, but his knight was just looking back at him.  
  
“Sire, where is Merlin?” Gwaine asked forcefully.

Arthur was taken aback by the question and Gwaine must have read it in his face because he he added, “And please don't tell me his mother is ill. I know Merlin would _never_ leave your side. If his mother was that sick, he'd have come back with you to get supplies from Gaius. I know he didn't.”  
  
Perhaps Gwaine was too perceptive after all. Arthur had assumed that he would have to tell him eventually, but he had hoped for a bit of silence this early in the day. “Easy Gwaine. Merlin is fine-”  
  
“Where is he, then?” 

“Well, I believe he is actually in Ealdor now,” Arthur began. “Merlin... is a sorcerer.”  
  
Gwaine's hand flew to his sword. “Would you pull your sword on your king?” Arthur asked, voice low. He allowed Gwaine a moment to pull himself together, then said, “He is fine, more than fine.” Remembering Merlin's silver aura and the power radiating off him, he added, “Why does everyone think I hurt him?”  
  
“Why? Because magic is a crime and you are the king enforcing it,” Gwaine replied tensely.  
  
Arthur's temper snapped at the unjust accusation. “I have not executed a sorcerer during my reign. I have left the druids in peace. I am not my father!” he shouted.  
  
Gwaine raised his hands in capitulation. "I'm sorry. Yes. I know you're not Uther. I wouldn't be here if you were.”  
  
Arthur calmed and had to admit to himself he hadn't really taken a public stance on magic after his father died. The proactive searching and executing had stopped, of course. But with regard to the law forbidding magic, he let everything stand as it was.  
  
“I've changed so many outdated things such as knighting common men, raising a servant to queen, and ruling with respect and not fear. But magic was something I had never wanted to look at.” Maybe it was Morgana's treachery that stabbed at his heart. Or the many evils he had seen at magic's dark hand. There had never been a compelling reason to shine a light on those laws.  
  
He sighed, knowing he had a powerful, silver-glowing, magic-wielding reason now.  
  
Gwaine's expression was thoughtful when he said, "I'm sorry, Sire. That is all true and I hadn't noticed." He broke into a sudden grin. “So, Merlin has magic, huh?” Hey! Now it makes sense.” He kicked his horse and rode up alongside Arthur. Arthur waited for the chatter to continue, as he knew it would. “Grettir, the bridgekeeper said it would take Courage, Strength and Magic to get to the Fisher King. I was Strength.” He was smiling like a lunatic.  
  
“When did he say that?” Arthur asked. “Where was I?”  
  
“Oh, I think that was when you were about to be eaten by the wyverns, Sire,” Gwaine laughed. “Maybe he meant _Beauty_ , Strength and Magic,” he continued chuckling at his own joke. In which Arthur did not join him.  
  
Gwaine rolled his eyes. “Well, are you going to tell me the story or not?”  
  
“Unfortunately we have all day together, so yes,” Arthur said, kicking his horse and heading back down the trail toward Nemeth.

  
  
By the late afternoon, the pair were approaching the border with the kingdom of Nemeth. 

"King Rodor and Princess Mithian are strong allies. Did I ever tell you that my greatest fear when I broke off the engagement, was that I had destroyed their trust?” Arthur said as nudged their horses on. “In fact, they were very forgiving."  


Gwaine grinned. "Well, they got the disputed lands they wanted, didn't they? With no need to marry off their princess."  


"You're a cynic," Arthur retorted. "Relations now are better than I could have expected. We have a true friend in Mithian."  


"I like her. She's not afraid to be honest and forthcoming with her opinions."  


"Well, that's a trait I can respect. I put up with you, don't I?" Arthur smirked.  
  
“Magic is legal here?” Gwaine asked.  
  
“I believe some magic is still practiced. I hope to gather some evidence as to how it all works, how it is governed and how it affects the kingdom.” Just a week ago this would have seemed an impossible subject, and now here he was.  
  
“So, Princess Mithian... she married yet?” Gwaine wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive way that made Arthur turn away. How anyone thought he was charming, he had no idea.  
  
“You stay away from her. She is honorable and I won't have her reputation soiled by the likes of you,” Arthur scolded.  
  
“I'm not the marrying type. Too much of me to go around,” Gwaine said, chest puffed out.  
  
“Yes, you have gone around and around Camelot,” Arthur said sarcastically. “Isn't there anyone who could make you settle down, Gwaine?”  
  
He watched the wheels in Gwaine's head spin for a moment. Then the knight cocked his head and gave a sly smile. “There might be one, but he's not in town at the moment.” Gwaine said no more and Arthur glared at him knowing exactly who he meant.  
  
“Arthur,” Mithian greeted them as they entered the citadel. Nemeth was a beautiful city with a castle of marble walls, reminiscent of the Greek style of architecture. Mithian looked lovely in her pale pink dress, with a slight flush on her cheeks. Arthur couldn't fathom why she wasn't married.  
  
“Come, let's have tea and catch up. I was so excited to get your note of arrival. We rarely see visitors from the north.” She led them into a small room where Rodor was seated. After introductions and pleasantries, they all sat while the servants bustled about laying the table.  
  
“King Arthur,” Rodor began. “I was pleased to hear of your impending visit.”  
  
Arthur finished his cup of tea and looked between father and daughter. “I am here seeking your council,” he said. “On the topic of Magic.”  
  
“I'll admit, I was surprised when I received that in your message,” Rodor said.  
  
Arthur leaned forward. “I am here to discover for myself, the benefits to a kingdom that allows magic.”  
  
Mithian smiled and said, “Arthur, that's wonderful. I'd be happy to discuss this with you.”

“I am pleased, Arthur. Glad to see you growing into a fine king with your own mind,” Rodor said.  
  
“In light of your quest, I have a surprise for you later on,” Mithian said.  
  
After their light meal they were shown to their rooms to relax, wash off the stains of travel and change into more formal attire for the evening's feast.  
  
Dinner included the entire court dressed in bright colors and finery. Nemeth seemed to be thriving, if the nobility was a representation. Arthur wondered how the common folk faired.  
  
After they had eaten and the plates were removed, Rodor stood. “And now, a special treat for our guests, King Arthur Pendragon and Sir Gwaine, of Camelot.” 

Mithian clapped her hands together and a pair of young ladies strode into the banquet room in blue dresses decked with ostrich plumes. They flitted over to where Arthur was sitting and stopped before him. The woman with the long blonde hair dipped her head toward him and then swirled her hand across his plate. Suddenly, the wine pitcher lifted up by itself and began pouring wine into Arthur's half-empty glass. He watched in wonder as the pitcher stopped when his glass was full and moved down to fill Gwaine's.  
  
The blonde's partner, a tiny thing with brown braided hair, who looked no more than thirteen, smiled at him and wiggled her fingers toward his cutlery. His fork began to shake slightly, then upended, followed by this spoon. He jerked back in his chair, staring as the utensils danced together around his plate.  
  
Gwaine laughed loudly and said “They won't bite, Sire.” Arthur had to admit, it was a funny sight.  
  
The young sorcerers continued to weave their tricks and illusions to entertain during the meal with colorful butterflies and a cake that grew so large it could feed the entire castle. Arthur leaned toward Mithian, who was sitting beside him. “I am surprised to see magic so light and pleasant.”  
  
“I'm so pleased you are enjoying the magic, Your Majesty.” Mithian said with an enormous smile. 

Back in his room, he found a summons to a private meeting with Mithian in the morning. He dressed for bed and flopped onto the bed to relax. The crystal was sitting on the bedside table and he reached over and laid it in his palm. In other circumstances, Merlin would be here with him. No doubt he would have loved the magic display. Arthur missed their playful banter and Merlin's presence, even when he was only straightening the room or hanging up Arthur's clothes.  
  
Staring at the crystal, he stole a few moments to watch. The memories seemed to come chronologically most of the time, unless he asked about something specific. With no specific question to ask, he allowed the crystal to show what it would and this night he saw Merlin leading him through a forest, badly retelling a fairy tale. When he saw himself pull the sword out of the stone, the emotion from Merlin was so intense he almost dropped the crystal. _You are my king. I am so proud of what you are becoming. I will do anything for you to see your own worth._  
  
In the time he had had the crystal, as the memories had progressed, Arthur had seen Merlin take more risks to make sure Arthur was safe. And he felt something else, a desperation and a shift to seriousness. Merlin had matured, as was expected when boys grew into men, but this was different. All Merlin's hidden acts of heroism were wearing him down and Arthur perceived a gradual increase of a dark, cynicism in him.  
  
He tucked the crystal under his pillow and slept.  
  
He met Mithian in a formal sitting rom with crystal chandeliers where servants brought breakfast. They talked of their kingdoms and news around the realm and played a game of chess. Arthur always enjoyed her company and they got on quite well.  
  
“Arthur, I am curious about your change of heart towards magic,” Mithian said reaching for her king's rook and moving it into a position that threatened his knight.

  
Arthur paused to consider before moving his knight away from danger. “Well, nothing's changed, yet. Except, that I want to gather the facts and make a decision that is right for Camelot. As you know, I've known nothing but hatred and fear of magic since my birth. But, due to recent...discoveries,” Arthur paused. “I have begun to suspect there is more to it.”  
  
“What happened?” Mithian leaned forward and picked up her queen, moving it one place on the board. 

Arthur watched and sighed when he realized he was tired of lies and half-truths. He valued honesty above all else and he would act accordingly.  
  
“It's... Merlin,” he cleared his throat. “Merlin, my servant. He has magic.” Arthur waited for her reaction.  
  
Mithian snorted, then chuckled. “Well...that explains a few things.”  
  
Arthur tilted his head at her reply, but asked, “How does magic work in your kingdom? What do you allow here?” 

“In Nemeth, it is mostly small magic, charms, and healing. Hedgewitches use herbs and potions to heal, or help babies into the world safely. Sometimes the crops can be...enhanced during dry summers. Or small repairs can be made to roofs and fences mended,” she explained once more moving her queen to threaten his king. 

“How is it regulated?”  
  
“There really is no need. As I said, most magic users are barely strong enough to frighten a mouse. If there is someone breaking the law, we deal with it as we do with anyone, magic or not.” She poured another glass of wine and took a sip. “There are few powerful sorcerers left. The effect from your father's purge reached well beyond Camelot's borders. 

“So, you have not found corruption or misuse in these magic users?” Arthur attempting to reconcile Mithian's account with his father's tales of evil.  
  
“Honestly, no. There is no fear or hunting of magic, therefore no one seeks revenge. I will take you to the healing house so you may see,” Mithian said.  
  
“Healing house?” Arthur watched her put him in checkmate which brought the game to an end. As good as he was at chess, she always beat him.  
  
“Yes, it is a dedicated lodge where our best healers work. It's wonderful. Will you accompany me? Mithian asked, smiling. 

“Yes. I would like to see this place,” Arthur said. How many of his own people could have been saved with magic, he wondered.  
  
They stood and Mithian led the way out of the room.  
  
As they walked out of the castle and through the courtyard toward the center of town, Mithian turned to him with a look of curiosity. “You raised a handmaiden to be queen and now seek to change the laws of sorcery for your servant.” Arthur startled at her words and stared back at her. “For those you love, it seems there are no limits. You are fair and just and will inspire those across the region. There are many who are already looking to you for direction, Arthur Pendragon.”  
  
The healing house was located in a brown, rectangular hut with an enormous garden on three sides which was thriving with all manner of plants. “Our herbalists grow their herbs right outside the front door for easy access. It looks and smells lovely, as well,” the princess explained as they walked in the door.  


Inside, the house was cozy and warm. Shelves lined the walls with assorted bottles, jars, and books. From the rafters hung rows of what Arthur thought were herbs and plants tied with twine. There were four cots set up on either side of a large stone fireplace which centered the house.

As they moved through the room, a stout woman curtsied to the princess. “Aylay, good morning,” Mithian greeted one of the healers. “King Arthur, could I present Aylay, one of our most gifted healers?” 

Aylay gave a small curtsy, which Arthur returned with a nod. "Please, don't allow us to interrupt you," he said. Arthur watched as the woman bustled about, scanning the shelves and then reached into a jar filled with some type of root. She selected a few and gathered them into a bundle, which she tied tightly, then thrust into the brazier to light. The cluster of plants began to smoke and she pulled them back from the fire.  
  
“My Lord, My Lady, this bairn here has a bad fever,” Aylay said indicating one of the cots. Arthur noticed a young child propped up on a pillow, holding a rag doll. The child's face had the light sheen of fever sweat. A woman, who Arthur assumed was the mother, sat on the edge of the cot holding the girl's hand. “These herbs should clear it up rather quickly.” Aylay stood over the child. She waved the smoking bundle over the little girl's chest and mumbled a few words. Arthur felt a slight buzz in the air.  
  
The girl coughed and then sat up, a huge grin on her face. “Are you really a King?” she asked looking up at Arthur. Her pale face had returned to a healthy color and she seemed fine.  
  
He bent down beside her bed. “Yes. Are you a princess?” 

She giggled. “I hope to be someday. Like Princess Mithian.”  
  
Over the next half hour Arthur witnessed a cut on a guard's arm all but healed, and the pain from a burn relieved. The potential of such a healing house in Camelot would be amazing for his knights and people.  
  


“Ready to ride out, Gwaine?” Arthur asked, as a groom fixed his saddle bags on his horse. Mithian had generously provided some fruit and pastries for their return trip. Gwaine had spent most of the night in the tavern under the guise of 'research' of the common people's views towards magic. It seemed his wages were gone, and possibly some maiden's virtue.

  
“I suppose,” Gwaine said, stumbling up and onto his mount. “To the druid camp, it is.”  
  
The druid camp was north, closer to Camelot and the border of Escetir. The directions he received from Gaius weren't that specific, but he knew the kingdom well and was sure he could find it. 

“It's about two days ride over the ridge,” he told Gwaine when they stopped to let the horses drink.  
  
“Did you find what you were looking for in Nemeth?” Gwaine asked, pulling an apple out of his pack.  
  
“Yes. It was quite surprising.”  
  
Arthur kept them moving at a good pace, as he wanted to find the scrolls. How they could contain anything about him when they were written so long ago? Hopefully, he would find proof either way.  
  
As they got closer to where he hoped the druid camp was, he couldn't help remember the last time he had encountered them. He had been so arrogant and it had nearly cost them the kingdom. Marching into their cave, using a boy at swordpoint as a pawn to get the cup. He sighed. The druids might not exactly welcome him in with open arms. Maybe he should have brought Merlin. He might have some more information about the druids or at least smooth the way.  
  
They found the camp in the afternoon, the following day. It was hidden among the trees on the edge of the Darkling Woods, a scattering of small huts and tents at the edge of a large hill. A few women stopped their work washing and hanging clothes to watch them as the passed by.  
  
When Arthur saw the druid leader and a woman walking towards him, he dismounted and Gwaine followed his lead. Remembering Gaius's suggestion, Arthur slowly unsheathed his sword and laid it on the ground. “I am Arthur Pendragon and I come in peace,” he said loudly.  
  
“Again we meet, King Arthur. I am Iseldir,” the man said. He looked as Arthur remembered him in his faded grey robes. His face held very little expression and was hard to read. “And this is Sharay.” The woman turned toward him and nodded, although she said nothing.  
  
“I wish to open negotiations of peace between us. I am curious about magic and it's uses in my kingdom.” His words caused some stirring of the people and soft chatter. “I am also seeking some ancient scrolls that explain the prophecy of Emrys and the Once and Future King. I was told you might have them.”  
  
Iseldir glanced from Arthur to Gwaine and then he scanned behind where they stood. “Emrys has revealed himself,” he said taking a step toward Arthur. “Although, he is not with you.”  
  
“No. I mean, yes, I know his true identity now.” Arthur dropped his head slightly. “I would like to apologize for my behavior toward you the last time we met. I have learnt much since then.” Iseldir nodded in acceptance.  
  
A group of druids had gathered around them as they conversed in the center of the camp. Iseldir smiled. “Thank you, King Arthur. You are welcome here and you may bring your swords. Your intent is sincere. Please let us offer you some drink.”  
  
“I love these quests,” Gwaine said softly as they followed the druids. “There's always plenty of wine and food.” 

Arthur shook his head in exasperation and walked with Iseldir to a central tent where a large table, chairs and stools were set up. The wine was poured and some bowls of food were put out. A few had fruit and nuts he recognized, so he reached for those.  
  
“It has been many, many years since a King of Camelot sat at our table.” Iseldir said. Arthur looked out among the faces of those that used to be his enemy. They looked exactly like the common folk in the lower town. Except for the ink markings on their arms or legs, they could be his people. They would be his people if he embraced magic and accepted their ways.  
  
“What questions can I answer for you, King Arthur?” the druid asked.  
  
“I wish to understand how magic fits into communities, how it is regulated or monitored,” Arthur paused and looked at Iseldir. “All my life I have been told horrid tales of magic and corruption. That all magic users are evil and seek to do harm. My past experiences have only solidified this. My own sister...” He took a deep drink and continued. “Now, new facts have been presented to me that cause me to question what I was told. I wish to make up my own mind about magic, with no one's influence.”  
  
“Very wise, My Lord,” the druid said. “Not all of our people have magic, but many do. Those who want to strengthen their abilities mentor with others to learn. Different individuals have different gifts to offer our group. Some are healers, others help with the food or animals. Occasionally, we have a seer who helps guide us. Some have extremely extremely strong magic, such as young Mordred."  


Arthur stilled. He knew Mordred was a druid, but he had never considered that Mordred might have magic. Gwaine was staring at him, clearly with similar thoughts. Iseldir refilled his cup and Arthur took a sip, trying not to let his balance be thrown. He was here for the information he needed and the rest would keep.  
  
Iseldir continued, “Magic has never been seen as a threat or as something to fear, therefore it does not require any monitoring. Except when a young magician is learning to control it.” He laughed. “Sometimes that can cause mishaps, but it is likened to a young child learning to walk or control their temper. We do not punish for honing a craft.”  
  
It all sounded very idealistic to Arthur. “What if a druid doesn't follow the rules? Or does harm someone?”  
  
“Again, it is seen as a learning process. In our camps we all work together to survive. One family grows food, one tends to the sick,and others hunt or build. We rely on each other and the integrity of the group. We are peaceful people who do not seek material gain and power. If someone does not agree with our ways, they are free to go wherever they wish. Some do.” Iseldir closed his eyes. A few moments later several druids appeared with drums and began a soft rhythm behind them, as they finished their meal.  
  
“The musicians are rendering the chant to welcome you, King Arthur,” Iseldir said.  
  
“Tell them thank you for giving us such a warm reception.”  
  
Iseldir closed his eyes and nodded. Then turned back to Arthur. “They are pleased you are enjoying it.”  
  
“How did you do that?” Arthur asked.  
  
“Some of us can communicate through our minds. We don't need to speak, but say our words in here.” He tapped the side of his head.  
  
Arthur wondered if his thoughts were being invaded as they sat.  
  
“It is a consensual technique between those with strong magic. You need not worry, I cannot hear what you are thinking,” Iseldir said .  
  
“That's a good thing,” Gwaine said, popping some nuts into his mouth. Iseldir laughed.  
  
“King Arthur, magic is part of the fabric of life. Nature is magic. It is woven into the earth, the sky, the plants and animals. It's what makes the flowers bloom and the birds sing. It is the energy that surrounds us and connects us to each other.” 

Arthur listened to this explanation with wonderment. How could magic be all that? He wondered if Merlin could feel and see it in that way. He would check the crystal later and see if he could bring up any memories to help him understand.  
  
“As for the scrolls, yes, we do have what you seek.” Arthur looked up at him expectantly and  
Iseldir continued, “They have been passed down through generations and no other hands save druids have touched them. They are some of the oldest texts we have and you are welcome to view them, Your Majesty. Our only stipulation is, your other half must be present,” Iseldir finished.  
  
Arthur frowned. “Why would Guinevere...” Then, “Oh, you mean Merlin? ”  
  
The druid leader nodded and smiled. “Yes.”  
  
“I am eager to learn more about our...destiny. Can you tell me anything about these prophecys? Maybe you've read them?” Arthur asked.  
  
“I have not read them, but I know a little. The legend of Emrys is known to most magic users. He is the one who will free our people from tyranny and bring magic back to the land,” Iseldir explained. “He is also said to be the most powerful sorcerer who has ever or will ever walk the earth.” He looked into Arthur's eyes intensely for a moment.  
  
Balinor had said something about Merlin stepping into his full power. It seemed that Merlin really was this Emrys. Arthur wasn't afraid of that realization; oddly the opposite. His heart sped up, thinking of the way Merlin's power illuminated the cave. And how it felt when they touched.  
  
If Arthur was the Once and Future King, then he deserved an equally powerful sorcerer at his side.  
  
“He _is_ magic, My Lord,” the druid continued. “His very being is constructed from elemental magic. He wields the earth, the seas, the sky, the light and the fire. The power of life and death, and time.”  
  
Arthur didn't know how to respond to that. He waited for more, but the man stopped and just looked at him. “Merlin? Merlin...is all that?” he asked.  
  
“Like you, he was born of magic, but his is... immense. Like none other.”  
  
Arthur's thudding heart skipped a beat and he felt the world tilt once again. “What do you mean, like me? I have no magic.” Inside, his stomach was churning with the memory of Morgauses' ruined castle and the vision of his mother telling the story of his birth. And of Merlin calling it a lie.  
  
“Yours is bright, golden magic that fills the world with light. It is the other half to Emry's- Merlin's powerful magic.” 

“So, it is true? Magic killed my mother,” Arthur said, flatly.  
  
Iseldir sighed, reached out his hand, and lay it on top Arthur's. “The Old Religion is balance. A life for a life. The unending cycle can be thrown off if we...meddle too much. This was Nimueh's dilemma. She was asked by Uther and Ygraine to help them conceive an heir. But, she knew that to create a child from nothing would require a price. She didn't know what the price would be, but Uther blamed her. Blamed magic for his loss. And then took his revenge on all sorcerers and the same Old Religion that helped create you.”  
  
Arthur rubbed his hands across his face. Maybe, deep down, after that encounter with his mother, he had known that it was true. He had hoped desperately that it had been her and not Morgause's trickery. Merlin had been so convincing, sworn that his father didn't know. But, he had known. He had used magic to conceive his child. Whether he realized the consequences or not, he was guilty.  
  
All those years he executed people for something he himself had done. Arthur was stunned.  
And angry. Arthur railed at the memory of his father and all the destruction he had caused.  
  
He breathed in and out to calm himself and sat back in his chair. If Merlin hadn't stopped him that day, he would have killed his father, of that he was sure. If he had followed through, it would have changed everything. He would have never recovered from it. Merlin had once again manipulated his actions. And saved him.  
  
Iseldir shifted in his chair, startling Arthur back to the present. “As for The Once and Future King,” the druid began, “he is known as the noblest and greatest ruler, who will unite the lands of Albion and bring about a Golden Age of peace.”  
  
Arthur leaned his chin on his hands which were propped up on the table. His gaze drifted from Iseldir's face to a point over the druid's shoulder, unfocused as he mulled over the words. The uniting of Albion had already begun. He had made more alliances in his first years as king than his father had his entire reign. “When will these prophecy's come to pass?” he asked, looking back at the druid.  
  
“Prophecy is not always detailed or specific in the how or when.” Iseldir smiled. “Sometimes when we look back at our actions, we discover they led us to the destiny, unconsciously. ”

“Thank you for speaking with me, Iseldir. I'll bring Merlin back to read the scrolls.” Arthur said leain forward toward the druid elder. “I want to apologize again for what happened to the druids, years ago under my father's reign.” He had made his peace and been forgiven that night when Elyan had been possessed, but his guilt still rose up now and then. 

“You were young and only following the orders of your king.”  
  
“I know, but... I will ensure that this never happens again to any people. I hope you can forgive my less than honorable actions, Iseldir. Is there someway I can make this up to the druids?”  
  
“You already are, Your Majesty. You, being here, seeking out magic and standing beside Emrys will do more for our people than you know. Let me show you and your knight to your huts for the night.”

  
Arthur spent the following morning observing the druids, talking with their healers, watching bits of domestic magic as he and Gwaine were treated to yet another hospitable meal before riding off in the afternoon to Ealdor.  
  
Gwaine's incessant chatter rivaled only Merlin's. “So, Merlin's pretty important to the druids,” he said. “They think he's some kind of god.” Arthur looked over at him. Gwaine didn't seem to be troubled by magic or the fact that his very good friend was magic and had been lying about it.  
  
“Why? What happened?” Arthur asked. "What did you see while I was with Iseldir?"  
  
“Didn't you notice? They were all bowing their heads when they said 'Emrys'. One woman told me Emrys wasn't a real man, but an infinite spirit born to save the world or something,” Gwaine snorted. “I always knew there was something special about Merlin. We got out of too many scrapes for it to be good luck.” He shook his head grinning, then added, “But at least we now know why he stayed in Camelot all these years."  
  
Arthur raised an eyebrow questioningly and Gwaine moved his hands into a wide gesture, palms up, “His destiny. Why else would he be there shining your boots and mucking out your horses?”  
  
A stinging pain stabbed at Arthur's heart. Why would a sorcerer of such power reduce himself to a servant when he could be doing anything, anywhere? Merlin's loyalty was deep and true, but was it due only to this forced destiny he had been told of? Arthur brooded silently for the rest of the day.  
  


The sun was very low in the sky as they rode into the village of Ealdor. There were few people out so late in the day, but those who were recognized Arthur and bowed and waved.  
  
Arthur was still feeling off kilter from his time at the druid camp, but coming into this tiny hamlet flooded him with feelings of comfort. He let it wash over him as he directed his horse towards Hunith's home. She like Merlin, she saw Arthur the man, not the king.  
  
Merlin was standing at a chicken fence on the side of Hunith's hut.  
  
“Merlin!” Gwaine shouted and quickly dismounted at the fence Merlin seemed to be mending. Gwaine hauled him into a clumsy embrace, Merlin laughing and trying not to fall. Arthur narrowed his eyes. He couldn't hear what they said, but when Merlin noticed him, they locked gazes. Merlin's lips curled into small smile and he nodded slightly.  
  
Hunith opened the door as Arthur also dismounted and hustled over to him as he tied up his horse. “Arthur,” she grinned and pulled him in, kissing both his cheeks. “You've grown up into a fine man. I'm so glad you're here.” Arthur's cheeks reddened at her affection, but it wasn't unwelcome.  
  
“It's good to see you, Hunith,” he replied taking her offered arm. They headed toward the hut, but Hunith turned back toward the fence and called, “Merlin! You and Gwaine gather a bit of firewood. Dinner is almost ready.” She steered Arthur inside and said, “I'm glad I made a large pot of stew.”  
  
“Thank you for your hospitality. There's no need to go out of your way-”  
  
“Arthur Pendragon, you are the King of Camelot and of course I will go out of my way to honor you with a hearty, home-cooked meal.” Hunith didn't wait for a response, but led him inside, and sat him down in a chair before resuming the task she had obviously been employed on before they interrupted with their arrival, clattered around the cookpot, stirring and seasoning. Arthur sat quietly and enjoyed watching her work.  
  
After a few minutes, she paused cooking and came to sit beside him. “Before they return, I'd like to thank you, Your Majesty.” Arthur held up his palm to indicate the honorific was not needed. She took hold of his hands. “Thank you, for your clemency with Merlin. And I want to say something else, Arthur.” She rose from her chair and knelt down before him, still grasping his hands between her warm fingers. Arthur tried to pull her up, but she shook her head.  
  
“I want to apologize to you. All his life I cautioned my son about his magic, always made him promise to keep it secret. Even though he trusted you and wanted to tell you, I warned him to wait. You can't imagine how I worried each day with him in Camelot and King Uther...” Hunith trailed off, her eyes filling. She turned away and wiped her apron quickly over her face. “Merlin told me how upset you were when you found out.” Arthur ducked his head at the thought that she knew he had hit Merlin. “I know you feel betrayed, but Merlin did the best he could and only wanted to keep you safe.” She leaned in for a motherly hug. “You are like two-sides of the same coin and I hope you will work things out.”  
  
“Thank you, Hunith.”  
  
She got up and went back to tending her stew. Voices outside were followed with the door banging open and Gwaine and Merlin stumbled in carrying armfuls of wood and kindling. Arthur jumped up to help, thankful for a chance to shake off the confession and tenderness Hunith had offered. He never did well with emotional situations, although he did respect Merlin's mother and her words were not lost on him. As he stacked the wood into neat piles, he let what Hunith had said sink in.

  
Arthur glanced at Merlin as they sat down to dinner. He was directly across from him, so it was hard not to. Merlin looked the same as he always had. No glowing silver or lightening radiating off him. He seemed fidgety and kept looking away when he caught Arthur's eye.  
  
Gwaine broke the silence with, “Finally, a decent meal after days of riding. Thank you, Hunith.” She smiled and refilled his cup with some mead.  
  
“Have you been out on patrol?” Merlin asked, scraping his bowl.  
  
“No,” Arthur said. “We've been...on a quest. Of sorts.”  
  
“He doesn't know.” Gwaine said incredulously, eyeing Arthur. 

“How could he, Gwaine? He's been here.” Arthur scoffed and reached for another piece of bread. The plate was just a bit too far away. Before he had a chance to ask Hunith to pass the bread, the plate slid down the table and stopped directly in front of him. He startled and looked up at Merlin sharply, who colored.  
  
Everything froze and he felt all eyes on him. Arthur coughed and said, “That's handy... thanks,” and kept eating. He caught the tiny smile Merlin's lips formed.  
  
When they finished, Arthur said, “Thank you, Hunith for the wonderful meal. I am sure Gwaine would be more than happy to help you clean up, wouldn't you, Gwaine?” He looked pointedly at his knight who sat up straighter.  
  
“Yes...would love to,” Gwaine agreed.  
  
“Merlin,” Arthur continued. “I wonder if we could take a short walk?” Merlin's head snapped in his direction and the man swallowed nervously. Arthur almost laughed.  
  
“Of course,” Merlin answered, clearing his throat. He stood, picked up Arthur's plate and then looked back at Arthur, frowning. Arthur folder his arms across his chest and raised a brow.  
  
“Habit.” Merlin breathed a quick laugh, then grabbed a jacket from the chair and headed toward the door. “You coming?” he asked, looking back at Arthur. Arthur snorted and followed, shaking his head. It seemed things hadn't changed that much after all.  
  
The night sky was clear, illuminated by an almost full moon. Merlin led the way down the path to the end of their hut and stopped. He leaned on the fence, judging correctly that Arthur's intentions were talking and not walking.  
  
“So, how did it go since...the cave? I mean, what happened after I left?”  
  
He could feel Merlin moving the wire on the fence. “It went.. pretty well,” Merlin replied hesitantly.  
  
“Meaning?” Arthur prompted.  
  
“Meaning, I'm not a walking lightening rod now,” Merlin joked, but it sounded forced.  
  
Arthur inhaled and exhaled slowly. This was their first conversation in days and it felt awkward. He was still aggravated with Merlin's lies and manipulations, but the anger had weakened to a simmer. Merlin seemed distant, which left Arthur subdued. “Merlin, I am truly interested in your magic,” he said gently.  
  
“Really?” Arthur could hear the hope in Merlin's voice. It both warmed him and annoyed him that he, too, was desperate to reinstate their connection. Maybe there was something to that 'two sides of a coin' nonsense.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
"Well, it's hard to explain, but in the cave... I was absorbing something immensely powerful. It took a few days to feel comfortable with the magic. My father, he made me test it. Over and over. But it feels right, now. The new magic is very similar to my previous power, just magnified. It took some time and a few destroyed objects but, I feel almost normal, again.”  
  
“Normal? Let's not get carried away,” Arthur taunted without thinking. Merlin smiled and the tension between them lightened.  
  
“I...it's incredible, Arthur. I feel the potential right below my skin, but I have total control.”  
  
What had Iseldir told him about magic everywhere? It flowed all around them? “Can you feel the magic around us, Merlin?”  
  
Merlin didn't say anything for a moment, then he quietly replied, “Yes, I can always feel it. Especially, when you are around.” It was too dark to read his face and so Arthur couldn't tell what he meant.  
  
“I've been on a quest,” Arthur began. “I've been gathering facts on magic.” He felt Merlin turn and move closer.  
  
“What do you mean... facts?” Merlin asked.  
  
“How magic can be have a place in a community, the fact that there can be benefits to magic, and when it needs to be monitored. I went to Mithian and Rodor, because they allow small magic in their realm. It was quite eye-opening.” Merlin drew a sharp breath, like a gasp. “They have a healing house, Merlin, where I saw a little girl's fever erased in minutes. Gaius would be envious.”  
  
There was silence from Merlin, then a shifting and softly, “What... else did you find?”  
  
“I went to the druids. Remember, Iseldir? He told me about how they use magic in their groups.” Arthur climbed onto the top rail of the fence beside Merlin. “He asked about you, Emrys.”  
  
“Arthur...I...” Merlin sputtered.  
  
Arthur continued, wanting to make sure Merlin understood this. “You know, I've experienced years of evil magic, and been subjected to an extremely dark view of all that magic entails.” He paused and looked in Merlin's direction. “And now, I have seen acts of heroic magic, healing and magic that entertains. What I'm saying is...I want to make up my own mind about this. Without anyone's influence, good or bad.”  
  
Merlin said nothing and was unmoving, so Arthur knew he had his attention. “That's why I went on my own. Well, Gwen forced me to take Gwaine,” he added. “I need to see for myself and I will not tolerate any more lies or manipulations.”  
  
“Yes, I understand,” Merlin said in a low tone.  
  
This was one of his biggest problems with the way Merlin had handled all of this. Arthur did not like being in the dark. “As the king, my decisions are based on facts and suggestions from my councilors. I rely on others to keep me updated in all areas of my kingdom. If the information is false, my choices may not be correct.” He paused. “There's something else. The druids are holding the ancient scrolls describing the prophecy of Emrys and The Once and Future King. And... our destiny.” The words felt peculiar falling off Arthur's tongue, but if that's who they were, he would face it, like he did everything else.  
  
Merlin's breath hitched and asked incredulously, “What?”  
  
“Yes, they actually exist and were easier to find than I imagined. Anyway, Iseldir has them, but he won't show them to me unless you are there,” Arthur said and waited a beat for Merlin to catch up. “Will you go back to the druid camp with me to read them?”  
  
Although he couldn't see his face clearly, Arthur imagined Merlin's forehead scrunched as he thought. Arthur waited for his answer. 

“Yes. Yes, Arthur. I will come with you. I definitely want to see exactly what the prophecy says. I've heard so many...warnings and bits and pieces.” Merlin jumped down off the fence. “All this time I could have known exactly what to do...”  
  
“No, Merlin,”Arthur corrected. “Apparently, we both have to be there to read them.” Arthur climbed down too and then said pointedly, “You would have had to tell me first.”  
  
Merlin sighed and put his hand on Arthur's forearm. “I'm sorry, Arthur. Sorry for not trusting you with my secret, sorry for putting you and others in harm's way to hide my magic.” He walked a few paces then turned back around. “I never meant to hurt or betray you, but I needed to be by your side to protect you. My plan didn't go as I hoped.”  
  
Arthur clapped Merlin on the shoulder. “That's why I'm the king, Merlin. _I_ do the planning.” Merlin snickered and the mood reverted to something more familiar and comfortable. “The plan is, tomorrow we ride to the druid camp. I'll leave Gwaine here with your mother.”  
  
“Poor, mum.”  
  
“He can help with whatever Hunith needs around here.” Arthur said. “That reminds me, were you mending a fence when we arrived? I didn't know you were that useful.”  
  
“Ha. I did live here for eighteen years before going to Camelot,” Merlin retorted.  
  
“I meant, I was surprised you didn't just...” Arthur waved his hands about, but then realized Merlin couldn't really see them. “...use your magic.”  
  
“It's not that simple, Arthur,” Merlin said flatly. “If I show up here and suddenly my mother has a new fence, or a mended roof, people will get suspicious. It's one of the reasons she sent me to Camelot. Too many coincidences. This is a small village and everyone sees everything.”  
  
Arthur tried to imagine what is must be like to have a gift that couldn't be used. He had always had the support of his father, the court and the knights to increase his talents. That was one reason he was one of the best warriors in the kingdom. He'd had time, energy and encouragement to train. “I see,” he said to Merlin. “Let's go back in. It's getting cold.”  
  
Arthur didn't sleep well. He wouldn't let Hunith give up her bed, leaving himself, Merlin and Gwaine to share the back room. He didn't mind sleeping on the floor. Many nights on patrol had been spent outside under the stars.  
  
He was annoyed he couldn't use the crystal. There was still more to see, he was sure of it. But the past days had left little time to discover anything new. Arthur dug around in his pocket, feeling the smooth crystal in his fingers. It would definitely be odd to watch Merlin's memories with Merlin right beside him.  
  
His thoughts flickered back to his quest on magic. The ability to heal sickness, and wounds would change Camelot, if he allowed it. Not to mention the fact that it appeared magic could help feed the people through long winters. But, he was not yet convinced it would work harmoniously, even with Mithian and Iseldir's reassurance. They had told him if magic was used freely and without fear, there would be no need to use it to attack.  
  
Arthur sighed. The topic he had not yet broached with anyone was that of using magic as a defense or in battle. With Morgana's power having grown exponentially over the years, his greatest fear was having nothing to answer it with. Obviously, Merlin had been countering her from the shadows, but he wondered how it would be to have a strategic deterrent. This was a conversation he needed to have with Merlin, but he wasn't ready. After he'd had a chance to read the scrolls, he would have more to go on and then he would see what his next step should be.  
  
“I can hear you thinking from here,” Merlin said softly. The moonlight was bright enough now that when Arthur looked around, he could see Merlin leaning up on one arm, gazing at him. “Can't sleep?”  
  
Arthur turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “There's a lot on my mind.” He had thought he was becoming a wise and experienced king, but these recent revelations had made him second guess. “I've been bombarded with information that I didn't know about my life, my friends, my father, my birth. It's a bit overwhelming.” He sighed then said quietly, “I was thinking how much my life has changed in the past week. And how much more it could.”  


“Yeah...me, too,” Merlin said in a hushed whisper. “Remember when we slept here the first time?” There was a pause, and Arthur glanced over to see him rubbing his hand across his face. “I should have told you then. I was going to.”  
  
Arthur remembered Merlin's friend Will taking the blame for the magical wind storm. Will was dying, so his confession saved Merlin from having to admit his responsibility. Arthur's heart hurt with envy that Will had known and he hadn't.  
  
But he had been young and out to prove his worth to his father, his king. He had no idea what he would have done had Merlin actually told him then. It would have been hard to defy his father, with Arthur being so determined and not even crowned Prince. He exhaled and said, “I think you were right not to.” He leaned on his side toward Merlin, who was already facing him. “I wasn't ready to deal with something that...big then.”  
  
“What about now?” Merlin asked softly. Arthur felt the whisper of his breath on his cheek. It was strangely intimate being so close to Merlin after their separation. At the same time, Arthur felt soothed and calm.  
  
“I'm working on it,” he replied and shifted back onto his other side. Sleep was trickling into his body and he welcomed it by burrowing down under the blanket. “Good night, Merlin.”  
  
“'Night, Arthur.”  
  
  
  
After Merlin's mother insisted they take some bread and cheese in their packs, they were ready to ride to leave.  
  
“Mother, it's only a few hours ride, we don't need all that.” Merlin said, leaning in to kiss Hunith on the cheek and grab his pack. “Gwaine, don't bother my mum too much or I'll turn you into a lizard.” 

Gwaine laughed and clapped Merlin on the back.  
  
“Thank you, again, Hunith. Take care of yourself.” Arthur said and started to turn to leave, but she stopped him and drew him into a tight hug.  
  
“You too, Arthur. Good luck.”  
  
It was a foggy morning with little visibility. The tree branches hung down like a canopy on either side of them as they rode through the forest. Arthur knew his way, but this part of the kingdom near the border was a haven for bandits. Men hidden behind the trees would be hard to detect in this mist and could initiate a surprise attack.  
  
Merlin must have noticed his restlessness. “What it is?” he asked.  
  
“These parts are teaming with bandits and it's difficult to see or hear today,” Arthur answered, nodding his head toward the trees.  
  
Merlin drew his horse to a halt and leaned forward in the saddle, narrowing his eyes. He slowly scanned the area ahead of them and tilted his head. “No. Nothing out there except a few birds and foxes.” 

“How do you know?” Arthur asked.  
  
“I can see and sense them,” Merlin replied, kicking his horse forward again.  
  
Arthur watched him ride ahead and wondered how many times he had done that while out on patrol with the knights. “I suppose your 'funny feelings' were your explanation for your magic.” There were times Arthur recalled where there was no legitimate reason for Merlin's concern or actions, yet each time his servant had been correct.  
  
Merlin slowed enough for Arthur to ease up beside him. “I did what I could covertly,” he said. “But sometimes, I couldn't hide... and I couldn't let anything happen to you.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
Merlin looked at him sharply. “Why not? Because you are my king, and my friend and it is my destiny to protect you.”  
  
“Oh yeah, what if it had been your destiny to kill me?”  
  
Merlin stopped his horse and stared at him, frowning. “I don't... know.” Then, “When I first met you, I did want to kill you.” His mouth arranged into a small smile.  
  
Arthur rolled his eyes and gently nudged his mount on.  
  
“But after I knew you awhile...” Merlin caught up to him. “You weren't entirely horrible.”  
  
Arthur shook his head and snorted a laugh.  
  
Merlin looked over at him intently. “Arthur, you must know that there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep you safe.” 

Arthur stared back- trying and failing to read Merlin's thoughts.  
  
When they entered the camp, the reception was much bigger than the other day. The whole settlement was outside and music was already thrumming as they entered the camp. A large bonfire in the center was crackling and much needed on this dreary morning. Several children ran up to greet them as they dismounted and led their horses to be hitched.  
  
Within moments it was clear it was Emrys they ran to greet, carrying ivy wreaths which he allowed them to place on top of his head. They danced around him, and Merlin laughed, until the adults bowed to him. At that, he shook his head and said, “No. Arthur is your king.” He was, Arthur noticed, blushing.  
  
Iseldir emerged from the crowd and dipped his head to both of them before grasping Merlin's hand and beaming with a large smile. “Merlin, I am so glad you are here. We are celebrating the coming of Emrys and the Once and Future King.” He waved his arm around to include the entire camp.

 

There were a few moments of quiet and Arthur watched the druid leader and Merlin looking at each other Arthur wondered what was being discussed in their silent conversation until Iseldir smiled and Merlin nodded.  
  
“You are here to read the scrolls. Will you have some wine beforehand?” the druid asked.  
  
They spent a short time indulging in fruit and wine and casual conversation before being led to a cave several minutes walk from the camp.  
  
“They hid the scrolls in a cave?” Arthur muttered to Merlin as they entered.  
  
“It's a sacred temple, Arthur,” Merlin scolded.  
  
Inside the cave was lit with candles. There were statues of gods and goddess on the natural ledges and ornaments hanging from the ceiling carved with odd markings Arthur didn't recognize. Iseldir directed them to a large slab of rock, like a table, with two tree stump stools placed on either side. Merlin sat on one and at a gesture from the druid, Arthur took the other. 

On the rock table stood an ornate wooden box about the size of a large dinner plate. It was decorated with flowery carvings and inlays of gold. “In here you will find what you seek,” Iseldir said indicating the box. “Please take all the time you need. I will be nearby if you should need my assistance.” With a bow, he backed away and exited the cave.  
  
There were several large pillar candles beside the box, lighting the area enough to see clearly. As Arthur reached out to open the lid, Merlin grabbed his wrist. Arthur lifted his eyebrow in question. Merlin released his arm and said, “Are you sure about this? What if we don't like what we find?”  
  
“I thought you wanted to know what the prophecy says?” Arthur asked.  
  
“I do. It's just... sometime knowing too much is worse than not knowing enough.”  
  
Arthur sighed. “I love your optimism, Merlin. But I'd rather have all the details, so I know what is happening.” He stressed the latter part a little and looked at the man across from him. Merlin bowed his head slightly and nodded.  
  
He lifted the lid and inside was a timeworn, yellowed parchment tied with a red and gold ribbon. Arthur removed the scroll, and tried to untie the ribbons, but they wouldn't unfasten. When he paused to consider whether cutting them would be judged to be sacrilegious, he felt a vibration that he now recognized as magic.  


“Here, I believe you need to open it.” Arthur handed the scroll to Merlin.  
  
When Merlin realized that the scroll was bound with magic, he gave a weak smile and holding it on his open palms, said “ _Tospringe'_ ”. The ribbons fell to the ground and the scroll unfolded.  
  
The parchment was inscribed with black flowery script. Arthur looked at the archaic writing, hoping it was in a language he could understand. Surprisingly, it was.  
  
“Shall I read it?” Merlin asked. “Out loud, I mean?” Arthur gave him a nod and sat back on his stump to listen.  
  
Merlin's clear voice read:

“ _The golden dragon light with honor_  
_conceived through magic and sovereign father_  
_shall use his strength to unite the lands_  
_high king to all for Camelot stands_  
_a beacon of fortune to shine the way_  
_will bring to pass the peaceful day_

  
_The dark and powerful mighty bird_  
_begat through dragon and goddess word_  
_Created to teach and counsel the caste_  
_as weapon, as shield, to future and past_  
w _ielding the magic of all that is found_  
_to Camelot's king, Emrys will be bound_  
  
_Together bond body, heart and soul_  
_two change the course forevermore_  
_bringing about the golden age_  
_Albion's legend doth remain_  
_two sides unite, become the one_  
_light and dark, divine has won_  


_Divided, king falls at druid hands_  
_inflicting war and strife on lands_  
_the permanent tear cannot be undone_  
_king, magic and Camelot gone_  
_until the time of greatest need_  
_yet only if Emrys can succeed_  
  
_Unbound, Emrys cannot prevent_  
_the kingdom's downfall but repent_  
_the mage will live eternal impeded_  
_his penance for words gone unheeded_  
_walking the earth magic undone_  
_waiting return of the golden one”  
_  
  
Arthur blinked and stared at Merlin, who appeared just as stunned. “What does that mean?” he asked, his voice grainy, and choked. 

Merlin shook his head and read through the words again, silently. When he finished, he handed the paper to Arthur.  
  
Looking at the prophecy, Arthur quickly scanned to the part about his downfall. By druid hands, as Merlin had warned. He looked back at the stanza above. “What's this bond by body, heart and soul?” he asked still examining the scroll.  
  
“I don't know.” Merlin said flatly. “But there is a true warning here.”  
  
“A warning for what? What does it mean ' _two sides unite_ ”?” Arthur asked, placing the text on the stone table.  
  
“Maybe it's what has been happening the past week?” Merlin sounded hopeful. “I found the courage to tell you about my magic, and as a result I embraced my remaining power. You are looking at magic with open eyes and found the way to the prophecy scroll.”  
  
It sounded plausible and made sense. “It could be. But, what about the heart and soul part? I've heard stories of rituals from the Old Religion.” He glanced at Merlin whose eyes had gone wide. “What?”  
  
Merlin cleverly tried to school his expression and failed. “Out with it.” Arthur demanded.  
  
“I'm not sure. Honest. I heard something about a bonding ritual but I have no idea, really,” Merlin stammered.  
  
Arthur didn't totally believe him, but he had another avenue to try. “Let's go and ask Iseldir. He said he was here to assist.” He stood and walked out of the cave with Merlin on his heels. At the entrance he turned, “And Merlin, no head talk with him. I deserve to hear what's being said.”  
  
Iseldir was sitting on the ground on the other side of the clearing. He appeared to be meditating, but when they approached, he opened his eyes and stood. “Ah, success?” he asked, smiling.  
  
“Um... we're not sure.” Arthur said. “The prophecy talked of a bonding of body, heart and soul. Do you know of it?”  
  
Iseldir frowned. “I know of some bonding rituals but not one one that uses those particular words. There is an elder in our group who may know.” Iseldir looked to Merlin questioningly.  
  
Merlin stepped forward and shook his head. “Arthur requested to be privy to everything. Please speak aloud.”  
  
Iseldir bowed slightly and said, “I will bring Ghenry to you in a few moments, my lords.” He turned walked back toward the camp.  
  
Arthur and Merlin went back into the cave where Arthur studied the scroll, hoping to make sense of the rest of it. This wasn't what he had expected, although he honestly hadn't known what to expect. But this wasn't the missing piece he had hoped would slot into place and clarify his concerns about magic. Instead, it confused him more and seemed to have caused a feeling like panic inside him.  
  
In an attempt to calm himself, he concentrated on the words on the parchment. The prophecy was clearly divided into two roads. One led to peace and harmony. The other to destruction. Not only his death, but the fall of Camelot. And an eternity of misery for Merlin, it seemed. His anger was simmering. Who had the right to decide what should or shouldn't happen to them? There was a rustling sound behind him and he turned to watch.  
  
Merlin riffled through his pack. He pulled out a wrinkled piece of parchment. Laying it on the rock table, he placed the scroll on top, whispered a few words, eyes glowing. Arthur felt the magic crackle. “Merlin, what on earth are you doing?” 

Merlin shrugged and said, “Making a copy for us to keep. We'll never remember it all.” He quickly checked the parchment and shoved it back into his pack. "Maybe we should wait outside," he suggested.  
  
They returned to the clearing just in time to see Iseldir return with the druid elder. Ghenry, Arthur assumed, looked at least a hundred years old. He was wrinkled and tanned, but his eyes were clear and intelligent. “What do you wish to know, Emrys?” he asked Merlin, as Iseldir helped him onto a large rock. 

“We've viewed the prophecy. It talks of a bond between the Once and Future King and Emrys. A bond of body, heart and soul,” Merlin said. 

The man closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes, I know of such a bond.”  
  
“Fantastic, what does it entail?” Arthur may have been a little short with the elder, but he thought his frustration was justified.  
  
The elder turned and looked into his eyes. It felt like he was looking deep inside Arthur. “Young king, this is a serious bond that you must be dedicated to. It is a bond of blood, seed, and magic.” He looked over to Merlin and continued, “It is a permanent bond. Not only of this life, but all others.” Merlin paled and Arthur's heart began beating wildly. “You must share seed to bond your bodies, blood to bind to your hearts and magic to seal your souls.”  
  
“You mean I have to marry Merlin?” Arthur asked incredulously.  
  
“Marry?” the old man laughed. “This is far beyond a human marriage. To each other, you will be everything. As your heart beats, the other will beat. It is a powerful, sacred bond of a depth, of a profundity that is inconceivable to most. Once consummated, it cannot be undone.” The elder looked up at both of them. “It seems this is laid before you as a path to your destiny.”  
  
Arthur's tamped anger burst through the lid he had tried to keep shut. At the word, destiny, he could contain it no longer. He turned and stormed back to the shelter of the cave before he did something they would all regret.  
  
Merlin ran after him calling, “Arthur! Wait...”

When Merlin entered the cave, Arthur grabbed his tunic and pulled him in, inches from his face. “What is this?” he gritted out. Merlin looked startled and confused. Seeing his friend's ashen color, Arthur loosened his grip and backed off. “How is this fair, Merlin?”  
  
“We have a choice, Arthur. We-”  
  
“A choice? What choice is it where one path leads to ruin and death. My death. And Camelot.” Arthur shuddered at the thought of all that they had worked for crumbling into ruins. “This is nothing but the Old Religion using us in its game of “fate” and dare I say, 'destiny'!”.  
  
“Why are you yelling at me? I didn't write the prophecy,” Merlin retorted, straightening his shirt and slumping onto a stool.  
  
Arthur narrowed his eyes and asked, “Do you want this, Merlin? Are you willing to be bound to me?”  
  
Merlin didn't answer, at first, but blushed slightly. Then he squared his shoulders and said, “This will save you and save Camelot. All this time I have been trying to do it blindly. Wondering why it kept spiraling out of control; closer to the chaos.” He stopped talking and stared at the cave wall. “No matter what I would have done, I would have failed. That's why I kept getting warnings. I just didn't know what to do with them.” He looked over at Arthur, “Yes, I am willing.”  
  
“To save me? And to save Camelot?”  
  
Merlin nodded, “Yes. Arthur, why are you so angry? This is an answer. A way to make _sure_ the downfall doesn't happen.”  
  
“So, you'll just jump into a permanent bond...with no thought of consequence. Just like you've been doing behind my back,” Arthur said.  
  
“That's right! I don't need to analyze every move with strategic planning,” Merlin shouted. “Sometimes the world throws things at you and you have to react.” He closed his eyes. “The consequences of you dying are much greater than anything. Yes, I am willing.”  
  
“Maybe it's my destiny to die at a druid's hand. Maybe that's my fate.”Arthur said, placing his head in his hands.  
  
“You don't mean that," Merlin said.  
  
“Why? Who's to say which path is right or wrong?” Arthur looked up at Merlin's serious face.  
“There is no free will in this. It's ludicrous. I'm married and pledged to Gwen. And you...how would bonding yourself to me make you happy? You'd have no life and it's not just this life, Merlin. It's every life. Forever is beyond what I can imagine.”  
  
“I don't...” Merlin started. “I don't understand why you're so angry. I see a clear path to a golden age of peace and harmony. Isn't that what you want for your people? If this is what we must do to make it come to pass, then that is our obligation.”  
  
Arthur could imagine himself saying those words to Merlin in other circumstances. But his heart was aching with something he couldn't name. 

“So, I would sacrifice my marriage to Gwen, my autonomy as king and... honestly, I don't even know what else...to be shackled to a sorcerer for all eternity... in order to save magic and unite the realm?”  
  
He noticed the second his words pierced Merlin. The man's eyes filled and he turned away. “I don't see it that way,” Merlin said, brokenly.  
  
“There's no other way to see it. It's forced. It's some crazy manipulation by the gods, or ancient druids, or whoever.” Arthur turned and grabbed his pack, then added, “I'm going back to Camelot.”  
  
“What?” Merlin jumped up after him. “You can't...”  
  
“Send Gwaine back home when you get to Ealdor. And don't follow me.” Arthur stalked out of the cave in the direction of the camp to find his horse and leave this place as soon as possible. His seething anger blurred his steps and he stumbled onto his mount without a proper thank you or goodbye to the druids.  
  
When he was far enough into the woods and away from the camp, he stopped his horse and jumped off. He breathed slowly and deeply to regain control of himself. Why was he so angry? Merlin's words rang inside his head. It felt like too much. It was too much. How could he ask Merlin to do this? And did he even want too?  
  
He uncapped his waterskin and took a few mouthfuls.  
  
Merlin always broke all his rules; challenged everything he thought he knew about himself. That had been a good thing, in the past. But, this was overwhelming and he didn't know why. Usually, he could rationalize and work through problems. He sighed and sat on the ground. Was he really that angry about the forced decision?  
  
He recalled several times he had known about severe consequences and still completed the action. He drank from the goblet to save his servant. Even if it hadn't actually been poison, he had thought it was.  
When the Dorocha plagued the land from Morgana's tear in the veil, he had had every intention of sacrificing himself for his people. There was no question. It was his responsibility to protect his people, even if he was the king with no heir. He was ready to be the sacrifice.  
  
So, how was this different? The prophecy stated that he would die and Camelot would fall if he was divided from Emrys. He should be willing to do whatever it took in this, as well. That was what Merlin was saying; why he didn't understand.  
  
His heart slowed down and his breathing returned to normal, so he fished into his pack for the last of bread and cheese Hunith had bundled up. As he chewed, he tried to think it through, calmly, again.  
  
Maybe it was all a pile of rubbish. Words written by men thousands of years ago should have no bearing on his life and the actions he decided to take today.  
  
He was startled at the sound of bird's wings and realized he had dozed off. The sun was slanting in the west, but he didn't get up right away. He hoped to arrive in Camelot later in the evening when he would be less harassed with duties and questions.  
  
Finally, he stretched his stiff legs and swung up onto his horse, heading for home. As he rode, he replayed Merlin's words. Merlin was willing to enact the bond to save Arthur and Camelot. He inhaled, annoyed. It was the _duty_ of it that Arthur disliked. Yes, Merlin would always embrace his mission and fulfill his destiny. But, that was nothing more than a role Merlin played as his protector. 

The sun had long set by the time Arthur rode into the courtyard. A tower guard called the stable hand to take the king's horse, allowing Arthur to slip into the citadel.  
  
He made straight for his rooms, feeling the absence of his servant at his side, but ignoring the ache in his belly. He wanted the comforts of a secure place, where he could rest his overworked mind. He flagged a servant as he approached his chambers asking for food and wine. When his mail was removed and the wine poured, he sat in the near dark at the edge of the bed, trying not to think.  
  
A knock brought him out of his daze and he called out, “Not tonight,” while walking to the table to pour another cup of wine. He slumped into the chair as the wooden door creaked and turned, ready to yell at the intruder, when Gwen's face appeared from around the edge of the door.  
  
“Is the queen banned from your chambers, as well?” she asked softly, walking over to the table and straightening the stuff he had dumped there when he first came in. 

He smiled weakly. “Of course, not.” Stepping over to her, he kissed her on the cheek. He didn't want any company, even hers, but he went through the motions.  
  
“So...” she began , putting down the dagger she had been fiddling with and slowly padding to the bed. She sat down on the very edge of his mattress. "You sneaked into Camelot, unaccompanied, grabbed a flagon of wine and are sitting alone in the dark.”  
  
“Gwen,” Arthur began, but she held up her hand and he shut his mouth.

“Sire, you are the king and the king can do as he pleases. If you need time to yourself, I can respect that. You will not be disturbed this evening.” She walked to the table and sat in the chair beside him.  
“As your wife, I am certain something has gone terribly wrong. I am here to ask what happened because I know you don't do well with feelings...and Merlin isn't here to fix you.”  
  
This was the second time in less than a week he had been found by her in this state. It wasn't him and he despised it. But, that didn't change the dread growing inside his gut. He lifted his cup, hand shaking, to take a sip.  
  
Gwen gasped, “Arthur.” She took the cup away and touched his face gently.  
  
This time instead of embracing him, she waited. He breathed a few times to collect himself, grateful for her understanding.  
  
“The quest started off well,” he began and detailed his visit in Nemeth. Gwen was wide-eyed when he spoke about the magical entertainment and the healing house.  
  
“Oh, Arthur, can you imagine a healing house here in Camelot? Countless lives could be saved and so many who suffer from poor nutrition and fever might be healthy.” She raised her hand to her mouth, shaking her head. Gwen was very involved in improving the lives of the people. She delivered extra rations, blankets and medicine to assist as best she could each week. As a lower town resident for most of her life, she understood their needs.  
  
Arthur continued, describing his first trip to the druids. He wanted to get her opinion on all that he learned, so he tried to recall even the tiny details. “The druids use magic to help each other in their village, training young mages based on their skills. It is used for the goodwill of the camp. I was told that there is little need to monitor the magic, as it is not hostile. No one uses it as a weapon. If someone does need redirection, it is seen as schooling,” he said.  
  
“It sounds...too good to be true,” Gwen said. “Arthur, are you truly considering bringing magic back to Camelot?”  
  
Arthur ran his hand through his rumpled hair and considered her question. Hearing her phrase it that way, he wanted to deny it. It clashed with everything he'd learned. He was not a schoolboy, however. It was time to establish his own influence, and establish his own beliefs. “I suppose, that's exactly what I'm doing. Considering it.”  
  
“Is this because of Merlin?” Gwen tilted her face toward him with a soft, knowing smile.  
  
“Well, he certainly was the catalyst.” Arthur shook his head ruefully. "Isn't Merlin the catalyst for most things in my life?. As he spoke the cauldron of betrayal in his gut stirred again, his servant's manipulation bubbling to the surface of his mind. He drained his wine cup and set it back down on the table.  
  
“The druid leader, Iseldir, confided that the druids have the ancient prophecy scrolls of Emrys and The Once and Future King. He would not let me view them without,” he paused. His other half. “Merlin.” Gwen leaned forward and waited. “I went to Ealdor to ask him if he would accompany me.”  
  
“So you talked with him? How is he?” she asked.  
  
“Fine. It was a bit...awkward. He acted timid, actually. I don't suppose that either of us knew what to expect from our first real conversation since this all began. But there was a hesitation in his voice and a formality in his words."  
  
"Oh, Arthur, I'm sorry," she said. “Timid is not a word ordinarily used to describe him.” She took a drink of wine and offered him a small smile. He was not cheered by it.  
  
Arthur didn't feel like disclosing every interaction with Merlin. Especially not the few tender moments in Hunith's hut. Instead he said, “Anyway, he agreed to go back to the druid camp and read the scrolls.”  
  
“Have you forgiven him, Arthur?”  
  
He glanced across the room, looking at nothing. “Perhaps? His betrayal still stings. But, I think I understand the reasons why Merlin waited so long to tell me.” Arthur looked back at Gwen. “It's difficult, Guinevere. I wish everything could go back to the way it was before.”  
  
She reached over and placed her hand on his arm. “What happened when you returned to the druid camp?”  
  
Her light touch that usually comforted, felt like added weight to his already overwhelmed state. Arthur pulled his arm away and leaned back in his chair. "We went to the druids. They showed us the scrolls. Apparently, I am supposed to be some legendary high king, once and future, whatever that means. And Merlin is Emrys, a tremendous force of nature and magic. We are supposed to stand together, or disaster will follow. It's bizarre.”  
  
Gwen frowned. “But what does it mean? If you don't stand with Emrys...Merlin, then you'll come to harm?”  
  
“I don't know. It could be rubbish. No one knows who actually wrote it. How could they know me, thousands of years before I was born?” Arthur scoffed.  
  
Gwen looked thoughtful for a minute and then said, “But, Arthur, don't you see? It is happening. You and Merlin have been standing side by side, you just didn't know how he was protecting you.” Arthur winced slightly. “And now, you are opening your eyes to magic,” she continued, voice pitched higher and excited. “Just like it says, Together uniting the realm and bringing the golden age.” Gwen smiled as if she had just solved the puzzle. He hated spoiling her victory.  
  
“There's more,” he said. She frowned, her mouth turning down slightly. “It's not just Merlin and me _standing side-by-side_. The druid elder explained it as more of a...link.” Arthur rubbed his hands over his face. “Some ancient ritual to bind us.” Gwen's forehead was creased into a full scowl, like she had tasted something foul.  
  
“What kind of link, Arthur?” Her voice was strained and he couldn't think of a way to soften what he had to say. “Arthur?”  
  
“It's a bond of body, heart and soul,” he said to the tabletop. “The druid said we would have to bind using blood, seed, and magic.”  
  
When he looked up, Gwen's eyes had widened. “Seed and magic?” she asked slowly, as if she hadn't understood. Oh, but she had. Arthur could tell from her expression. She turned away form him and to look across the room for a moment, and when turned back to him her face composed. “Surely, this is some druid superstition. You are already married. To me.”  
  
He reached over and clasped her hand. “Yes, that's what I said. There are plenty of myths about the gods of old. Who's to say this isn't some legend concocted to give hope to the druids.”  
  
“What did Merlin say about it?” 

Arthur pulled back and sighed. “Well, you know Merlin. Always ready to jump into things without thinking.”  
  
As he spoke the words, Arthur's anger flared again, as he remembered Merlin's dutiful declaration. “He said if it would save my life and save Camelot, he would be willing. It was his _destiny_.” The words came out harshly and Gwen jerked back at his tone. “I won't be manipulated anymore, Gwen. I left and rode back to Camelot, alone.”  
  
His own anger seemed to diffuse Gwen's. She stood up and walked behind his chair, draping her arms around his neck in a hug. “It's ok, Arthur. It's late. You've been traveling for days and had no time to rest and think clearly. We can sort this out tomorrow, but it seems like an old, distorted fairy tale. Check with Gaius. He knows about these things.” She leaned over further, and smiled up at him and he breathed out in relief. She could always calm him and clear his mind.  
  
“Thank you, Gwen,” he said. The wine had started to dull his senses and his body felt heavy.  
  
“Shall I stay?”  
  
“No, I'm knackered and would probably keep you awake with my snoring.” He smiled, turned his head and kissed her on the cheek. She hugged him again, pulled back and walked to the door. "Good night, my love," she said, as she quietly slipped out of the room.  
  
Arthur barely shucked off his tunic and made it to the bed before he was sleep.  


  
The sunny morning lightened Arthur's mood, helping him to refresh his perspective about magic. He applied the systematic thinking he used in organizing the knight's training and for battle plans, over breakfast. As he chewed his slice of buttered toast, a plan formed.  
  
Gaius would need to be questioned about the state of Camelot before the purge. Gwen was right: Gaius always knew how to deal with magical beasts, threats and crisis. Maybe Arthur would get a better understanding of the prophecy from the old physician.  
  
Also, the fact that Mordred had magic must be dealt with. Merlin's warnings rang in his head. He would honor his promise to be careful around the young knight.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking on his chamber door followed by Sir Gwaine, not waiting for Arthur's permission to enter, bursting into his chambers.  
  
“Gwaine, what the hell-” he started, putting down his knife and standing up, almost knocking over his cup.  
  
“You left me in Ealdor. And rode back alone,” the knight seethed. Arthur narrowed his eyes at his intruder and assessed his body language. Gwaine's temper was quick to boil and that had resulted in getting into a few scrapes over the years. Mainly, Merlin rescuing him from the tavern, he'd heard.  
  
“Yes, I thought you could make it back without me,” Arthur answered, dryly. “I had some urgent...business to attend to.”  
  
“Urgent business?” Gwaine walked over to the table. He was still eyeing Arthur skeptically.  
  
Although Gwaine was flippant in his words, and rarely deferential, he was one of the truest and most loyal knights. Arthur had earned that and was proud to have done so. Gwaine would never oppose his orders or question his actions, at least, not directly. So there had to be more going on here than Gwaine simply being upset about being left behind. “Is this about Merlin?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Gwaine's shoulders sank at Arthur's words. “What happened?” he asked. “Merlin was angry when he returned.”  
  
“That is between and Merlin and me,” Arthur said. “And I really don't have to justify myself to you."  
  
Gwaine and Merlin had a close friendship, especially since the loss of Lancelot. Merlin had latched onto the knight, even against Arthur's advice. Maybe latched was too strong a word. Regardless, Merlin seemed determined to babysit Gwaine and Arthur didn't know why it bothered him so. Probably, because Merlin was meant to be doing his job and not running off at all hours, like some mother hen. Gwaine's never hid his affection for Merlin vey well.  
  
Gwaine's glare hadn't subsided, so Arthur rolled his eyes and motioned for him to sit and have some breakfast. “It's way too early for this.”  
  
“All I'm saying,” Gwaine started, biting into an apple. “is when you rode off to the druids, it seemed like you two had kissed and made up.” Arthur looked up sharply. “Then, Merlin rode back, _alone,_ and nearly bit my head off when I asked what was going on. 'Arthur said go back to Camelot.' And that's all I got.”  
  
Arthur felt a wave of relief that Merlin hadn't disclosed the prophecy and all that it entailed to Gwaine. When he said it was between him and Merlin, he honestly felt it was. He would continue his fact seeking until he was ready to make a decision about magic and the prophecy. Until then, the less who knew the better.  
  
“Gwaine, I am sorry if you felt slighted, but our trip to the druid camp involved a private matter and I would appreciate if you would keep what you do know to yourself,” Arthur said.  
  
Gwaine looked at him for a moment and then nodded. “So, when's Merlin coming home?” he asked, snatching a piece of bread slathered in honey.  
  
That was a question Arthur wasn't ready to answer. After his magic-seeking quest, his views on the subject were much more favorable. The crystal memories had also played a major role in helping him form new opinions, although not all good. Merlin certainly had used his powerful magic to save both him and Camelot on a number of occasions . But the prophecy madness grated raw against his nerves in a way he couldn't explain. Merlin was the person he needed to talk with about all of these topics, yet he didn't want to face him and his talk of destiny. “I'll see you out on the training field in fifteen minutes, Gwaine,” he said ignoring his knight's question.  
  
Gwaine rose, cheese in hand, bowed slightly and then left, closing the door quietly behind him.  


Arthur's energy and emotional angst needed an outlet. Several hours of combat training would go a long way towards relieving his stress and it lifted his spirits just thinking about it. Although, his knights might not feel the same.  


“Sire.” Leonard, his stand-in manservant was waiting for him when he came off the training field three hours later. Exceedingly well prepared in all his tasks, he held a clean towel for Arthur to wipe his face and offered water. “The lower town council meeting is starting soon.”  
  
“That's today? Why wasn't I informed?”  
  
He said, apologetically, "I believe Your Majesty set the date a month ago?"  
  
Arthur raised his eyebrow slightly at his servant in question and Leonard remembered himself. “What I mean, your majesty, is that you only just returned last night and the council has been waiting several weeks for you to preside over the meeting.”  
  
“Fine. Do you have the notes for me?” Arthur strode back toward the citadel followed by Leonard who had a change of clothes already laid out for him in his chamber.  
  
Normally, Merlin would stand beside him, introducing the petitioners, summing up their issues  
so the meetings weren't prolonged. This was not the case with Leonard who, stood to the side of the room waiting to attend his king only when he needed. Arthur supposed a manservant's job really had nothing to do with council meetings, but Merlin filled so many roles in his day to day life. He had never questioned it before. It had just developed slowly over the years. Merlin writing speeches. Merlin coordinating meetings, organizing tournaments and feasts. Merlin always there beside him for counsel.  
  
The audience dragged on, but finally Arthur settled the last dispute. As the people filed out of the throne room, he turned to Mordred, who was waiting with the knights, until the last of the petitioners exited. “A word, Mordred.” The young man snapped to attention taking a seat at the rectangular table Arthur indicated.  
  
Merlin's cautioning voice echoed in Arthur's head causing him to pause. “Leon,” he called, as his patrol leader was herding the remaining knights out of the door. Arthur walked over to him and quietly said, “Will you remain here inside the door while I talk to Mordred?” Leon looked back at him questioningly, but he nodded and took up his post.

Mordred looked nervous as Arthur pulled out a chair across from him. He had glanced over where Leon stood, but remained silent.  
  
“Mordred, I am very happy to have you here as a one of Camelot's knights.” The young man's face relaxed into a slight smile, but his hands twitched where they rested on the table in front of him. “You are doing a fine job and no doubt will grow into one of my finest knights. There have been some... developments in the past weeks that I need to disclose,” Arthur continued.  
  
The tension in Mordred's face was apparent. He dipped his head and asked, “Sire, does this have to do with Merlin's absence?”  
  
“My assessment of you has been spot on. You pay attention.” Mordred gave a tiny smile.  
  
“Yes. This has to do with Merlin.” Arthur leaned in so his voice would not carry across the room. “He revealed his magic to me.” Mordred paled and his eyes went wide. “He is in no danger,” Arthur added quickly. “I have taken a neutral stance on magic, seeking information from surrounding kingdoms and the druids, as well.” Mordred was breathing hard but had not moved since Arthur began speaking. Arthur couldn't imagine this young man ever wanting to harm him. He trusted Mordred. But he had trusted Merlin and still he had been deceived.  
  
He voiced what had been whirling around in his head for days. “I am considering the effects of allowing the return of magic to Camelot. My eyes have been opened to the many positive ways magic can be used. It has also been disclosed to me, that you, Mordred have powerful magic.”  
  
Mordred dropped his gaze from Arthur to the table. There was a moment of silence and then he asked in a bitter voice, “Merlin told you this?”  
  
Arthur flinched at the harsh tone. He had seen the odd relationship between his youngest knight and his servant. Merlin was always prickly and guarded when Mordred was around. At first, the boy tried too hard to win Merlin's usually easy-to-come by affections. The two had settled on a resigned formality that at least minimized disharmony in the group. Now, Arthur understood why.  
  
“No, actually it was Iseldir who mentioned it.” Mordred looked up at him. “I spent some time at the druid camp. He was generous enough to give me the answers I was seeking.”  
  
“Sire, I did not mean to deceive you. I am here to serve.”  
  
Arthur smiled. “It's all right, Mordred. That is why we are having this conversation. I will have no more lies and deceptions at my court. I understand the fear that you and others have felt hiding your magic. I plan to change that.”  
  
Mordred's smile was blinding and his eyes filled. “Emrys said things would change, but I wasn't sure...” He started as he realized what he had said. “I mean, Merlin, My Lord.”  
  
“So, you know of the prophecy,”Arthur said. “What can you tell me?”  
  
“Emrys is the most powerful warlock, meant to bring back magic and stand beside The Once and Future King...Sire, that's you.” He seemed to work it out as he said it and bowed his head deeper, in deference.  
  
“Anything else?” Arthur prodded.  
  
“The legends speak mostly of great peace and a Golden Age that will come because of the union of the King and Emrys.” The union. Arthur's stomach fluttered as he recalled the ritual of union they would need to participate in.  
  
“Do you know of any warnings or...ominous elements to these legends?”  


Mordred frowned thoughtfully. “I don't recall any, Sire. I was young when I left the druid camp after the raids. Iseldir is very learned in the ancient traditions and would know more than I.”  
  
“Thank you, Mordred, for your honesty. I am truly sorry for the pain my father brought upon your people. I know an apology cannot atone for his actions, but I can promise nothing like that will happen under my rule.”  
  
“Thank you, Sire, for that. I know there is hope if you are truly the Once and Future King.”  
  
“I will let you know how things progress,”Arthur said. “Until then, I expect you will keep this between us.”  
  
“Of course, your majesty. Thank you for your clemency.”  


Mordred left the room smiling. Arthur continued sitting at the table until Leon sat down beside him. “How much did you hear?”  
  
“Sire, I-” Arthur raised an eyebrow and his knight sighed. “Enough. Arthur, what's going on?”  
  
Arthur filled Leon in on the events of the past weeks, in the most general terms. Nothing was mentioned of the prophecy or the crystal, but his knight was clearly shocked at the turn of events.  
  
“Merlin. I can't believe it, but..." He paused. "I suppose it makes sense, doesn't it? All those times we scraped by, undead armies and magical creatures.” Leon shook his head in wonder.  
  
“Yes.” Arthur agreed and he had seen it second hand in the crystal. “Leon, if I decide to allow magic to return to Camelot, I will need the support of the knights and council to make these changes. Will you stand behind me?”  
  
Leon squared his shoulders. “Of course, Sire. If it wasn't for magic and the druids, I'd be dead. They were nothing but kind to me even as I was a knight who would harm them. And if Merlin is a powerful sorcerer who has been helping us all along, how could I ever believe magic to be evil?”  
  
Arthur clapped Leon on the shoulder. “Thank you.”  
  
An hour later, having eaten his noon meal in his room, Arthur stood with one foot on the window seat and gazed over the courtyard. The merchants were dismantling the market stalls, removing their wares and dragging their wagons back to their homes. His day was supposed to be a return to normal, with knight training and council and he had hoped it would settle him back into familiarity. Instead, there was a hole that couldn't be filled by activities. A hole that couldn't be filled by Leonard, Leon or even Gwen's company. He missed Merlin.  
  
He planned to speak with Gaius next. There was much he needed to know about Camelot before the purge, how magic affected the kingdom. And the prophecy. As a servant retrieved his lunch plates, he stopped her. “Send someone to fetch Gaius, to me.” She curtsied and was on the way out when he saw Gwen at his door.  
  
He left the window and went to meet her. “Guinevere, this is a surprise. I thought we were having dinner later?” When she turned her face toward him, her tight smile and red rimmed eyes immediately told him something was wrong, so he closed and latched the door. He sat her gently on the edge of the bed. “Gwen, what is it?”  
  
Her hands were clasped together in her purple silk lap. They twisted nervously, and she took a deep breath. “I've just come from speaking with Gaius.”  
  
“I have just sent for him. I wanted to discuss the magic-”  
  
“Arthur, please let me say this,” she pleaded. Arthur reached for her hands to console her and nodded.  
  
“I asked him about the prophecy and he knew a great deal. I am sure he will explain it all to you.” She paused and looked up at him. “Arthur, this is bigger than I imagined. It's...much larger than you and me.” Her determined face was set, but her voice suggested a turmoil of emotions. Arthur waited for her to continue.  
  
“These legends are said to be the words of the goddess. You, Arthur, were foretold, thousand's of years before your conception. And Merlin.” Gwen frowned. “It's hard to believe it, yet I see the king you have become. I believe you can achieve the immeasurable tasks the prophecy describes.” She squeezed his hands and looked him in the eye. “Arthur, you will bring peace to the lands and unite the kingdoms. You will be crowned high king of Albion. And... this will reach far beyond the borders of Albion. Your actions will be the catalyst for an entire new way of life, all over the world,” she finished with a touch of awe in her tone.  
  
She turned away from him slightly, looking across the room. “I was wrong to have dismissed this before. Now, I understand.”  
  
“Gwen, what are you talking about? Understand what?” Arthur asked.  
  
“You and Merlin... you must heed the warnings of the prophecy, Arthur,” she said, her voice deep and serious. “The bond.”  
  
“Surely, you don't mean...” his voice trailed off as he realized that was exactly what she meant. “Gwen, I will not put you aside because of some century old scroll. Gods know if it's even real.” He stood and paced the room, running his hand through his hair. On the table he eyed his blade. He grasped it, running his fingers across the hilt to calm him.  
  
Gwen followed him and grabbed his arm, turning him back to face her. “I will not be the cause of your death, nor the fall of Camelot,” she said, her voice solid and true.  
  
“This is ridiculous. So, you're saying I should...bond with Merlin? Be forced to do this against my will... to save Camelot?” 

Gwen's face softened into a shaky smile. “You two have practically been bonded since he set foot in Camelot ten years ago.” His face must have shown his surprise because she touched his shoulder gently. “Oh, Arthur, I doubt you would ever feel forced to do anything when it comes to Merlin.” 

“Gwen, I...” he stopped, unsure of what to say. She obviously had her mind made up. He would have to talk to Gaius to find out what else the physician had told her to persuade her so.  
  
“Arthur you need to talk to Merlin. Find out what he really thinks.”  
  
“He made that pretty clear at the druid camp. All his talk of destiny. He didn't even want to mull it over.”  
  
She sighed. “Well, that's no surprise, Arthur. Merlin will always put you first.” She tilted her head and said matter of factly, “You know he's loved for years.”  
  
Time froze. Arthur could hear his own labored breathing as his heart beat wildly in his chest. Merlin loved him? Gwen must be mistaken. Merlin was the one who brought them together. The one who insisted she would be the best queen for him and Camelot. The one who had worked tirelessly, urging Arthur to forgive her after she was discovered kissing Lancelot. It couldn't be. Not after all these years together, he would have known.

There was a loud crash as his blade tumbled from his hand and to the stone floor.  
  
“Arthur, Arthur!” Gwen's voice startled him back to the present. He bent down, picked up the blade and put it back on the table.  
  
“I thought you realized...that you just overlooked it for the sake of his dignity.”  
  
No. He hadn't known. And there seemed no limit to the ways Merlin could upend his life.  
  
“I,” he started, but a knock at the door reminded him of Gaius's scheduled arrival.  
  
“Please. Think about all I have said. I'll give you time to sort this out alone tonight. Is that all right?”  
  
“Yes.” He smiled weakly. Being alone would fit the plans forming in his mind. He eyed the crystal sitting on his bedside table, noting the hours before he could ask it about Merlin's feelings. 

But first, he had serious questions for Gaius.  
  
It was late in the evening when Arthur was satisfied enough with Gaius's answers to let the old man retire to his room. They talked throughout the afternoon into dinner. Arthur had a meal brought up for them both and they continued to talk as they ate.  
  
From the conversation, he got the distinct impression that much of what his father had told him were lies, or at least heavy shadings of the truth. Camelot was not almost destroyed by magic. In fact, from Gauis' tellings, Camelot had flourished with magic. Uther himself had promoted Nimeuh to his council. Magic existed freely. If there was a crime of magic, it was tried before the entire council, just as a crime void of magic was handled. There was no persecution of magic users, and therefore no revenge or plotting in return.  


It wasn't until the magic purge that sorcerers had reason to challenge the crown.  
  
In turn, Arthur recounted the story of his recent quest and wished he had taken the time to get the copy Merlin had made. “Don't discount these prophecy's, Sire,” the old man said.  
  
“I am not a girl you can scare so easily, Gaius.”  
  
The physician raised his eyebrow to record heights. “I know you are skeptical, Sire. But I have lived many years and seen more than you can imagine. These ancient texts are said to have been handed down from the goddess herself.”  
  
“How do you know? Handed down to whom?” Arthur asked.

“To the high priestess, who in turn guarded them and passed it on to her successor as far back as can be imagined. Eventually the druids became the keepers, as magic waned and there were no more high priestesses.” Gaius paused his voice took on a warmer tone. He reached across the table and and put his hand on Arthur's shoulder at the table.  
  
“Arthur, I have watched Merlin grow from a bumbling boy into a powerful mage. His magic is beyond anything I have ever seen. He was recognized by many prophets, spirits and magical beings as Emrys, even before he or I knew about it. Magic is woven into the very fabric of the world, it is all around us. And so are the messages that magic carries, if you have ears to hear them. I do not. Merlin does and there are others who have heard the call. He has tried everything in his great power to keep you safe, yet it is beyond what he can do. There is a darkness rising against you, Arthur and he has been warned many times about it. Time is running out, the magic is unbalanced. I fear if you do not heed the words of the prophecy, your life will end and the kingdom will fall.”  
  
Arthur drank the last of his wine in silence, letting Gaius's statement settle in.  
  
“Thank you, Gaius. I will consider what you have said.”  
  
“Sire, Merlin would never do anything to put you in harm's way.”  
  
“Why does all of this have to be so...” Arthur groped for the correct word. “outlandish? Why must there be such sacrifices?”  
  
Gauis stood and stretched his old legs. He leaned over Arthur's chair, close to his ear. “I doubt Merlin would see this as a sacrifice.”  


Later, as Arthur lay in his bed with the crystal in his palm, he tried to push every current concern from his thoughts. He was exhausted from all the talk that the day had brought, but he still could not stop his mind from shuffling through his meetings. All of them had been important conversations, but there was only one goal now. He would watch every memory of Merlin's feelings toward him. He steeled himself with wine and swore to learn every detail.

  
Merlin surprised him once more.

The crystal pulsed and awakened with a silver glow that matched Merlin's magic in the crystal cave. There were no memories, at first, just a sense of Merlin's feelings. Arthur gasped at the emotion that flowed within him. A steady stream trickled around his body, and he clung to the crystal. Pride, hope, respect, camaraderie, and awe meandered like a warm breeze through his mind, and like a soft caress within him.  
  
It reminded him of a summer day in his adolescence when he and Morgana had gone riding. They had raced through an open field only to discover a hidden meadow and a small lake. She had shared memories of her father and childhood with him. Arthur had detailed all the ways he would make Camelot great when he was king. Hiding out for a few hours under the sun had been a gift he had rarely tasted since. 

He felt light and free and the feeling was somehow reminiscent of the old Merlin, before the demands of the world had taken their toll.  
  
The crystal vibrated in his hand, he looked down and saw a brilliant red mixing in with the silver. Pendragon red and Merlin's silver. He shuddered as an enormous swell of emotion coursed through him. It felt like breathing and peace and home. A consuming, unconditional sensuality he had never experienced. His breath quickened, his fingertips tingled. Arthur's entire body ignited with the depth of Merlin's love. He felt wetness on his cheeks. Where Merlin's emotions ended and his began, was impossible to sort out.  
  
The glow faded slightly from the crystal, along with the intensity, as the memories began to play out in the depths of the crystal. Arthur watched, entranced as Merlin's early frustration and annoyance shifted to duty and respect; from friendship and loyalty to lust and love.  
  
These recollections were not big memories, like those he had witnessed previously. No heroic events or turning points in their many years together. On the contrary, these were hidden flashes which Merlin had catalogued and stored away as precious to him.  
  
Through Merlin's eyes he saw himself patiently demonstrating the correct maneuver to a new knight recruit. The fascination and pride radiated from Merlin as he watched Arthur teach.  
  
A night in the woods, beside the fire where the two of them talked for hours about everything and nothing. Gratitude and happiness to be with his prince, as a friend and confidant.

A gaze he delivered to Merlin, that lasted too long, produced in Merlin a flutter of desire. Arthur inhaled and exhaled to calm his heart beat and control his body as Merlin's passion permeated him. It was staggering in magnitude.  
  
There were other feelings sprinkled in between- jealousy, desperation and a mournful longing that made Arthur's heart ache.  
  
The memories whipped by at increasing speed, displaying their years together with reflections of smiles, small touches, and fire lit gazes.  
  
The final memory was of Arthur sleeping in bed. His room lit only by the moonlight streaming through the windows. Merlin was watching, unmoving, at his bedside. He stood quietly for minutes, not turning away, not doing anything but gazing at his king, asleep. “Oh, cariad,” Merlin whispered and Arthur was enveloped in pure love.  
  
Arthur lay stunned on his pillow, as the crystal images faded, then stopped. His pulse raced, as he thought about what he'd seen and felt. He longed for Merlin, so he could talk about this. Could he talk to him about this? His body still thrummed with the emotions.

 

“M'rlin...Merlin. Merlin!” Arthur jolted upright in his bed, gasping for air. The dream was fading quickly even as he tried to remember the details. It was only when he skimmed his hand through his damp hair and lay back down that he realized he was still clutching the crystal.  
  
“Arthur?” He heard Merlin's voice, deep and urgent. “Arthur! Are you alright?”  
  
He looked around but there was no one else in the room. “Merlin? Where are you? Am I still dreaming?”  
  
“You're not dreaming. You called to me, you activated the crystal.” Merlin's voice echoed oddly around him. “Are you well?”  
  
Arthur looked around again, searching for the source of the voice. Merlin had augmented the crystal with magic, instructing Arthur to call, should need him. “I fell asleep with the crystal, I suppose,” Arthur said amazed that he could hear Merlin all the way from Ealdor.  
  
“You're sure everything is fine?” Merlin still sounded skeptical.  
  
“Yes,” Arthur croaked out. He felt anything but fine.  
  
He could sense Merlin's concern, but Merlin's voice was resigned and clipped. “Please try not to do this again in the middle of the night, unless you really need me.” The echo of Merlin was gone and the room filled with silence. Arthur set the crystal on the table and realized with shocking clarity, he did really need Merlin. 

Sleep eluded him after that. He tossed around in his bed, mind spinning. The magic, the prophecy, Mordred, and... Guinevere's disclosure. But mostly, he focused on the powerful feelings that had emanated from Merlin through the crystal.  
  
How had he missed this? Maybe deep down he had known. Merlin was exceedingly loyal, never hesitating whenever Arthur needed him, and even when he didn't. But, he didn't grovel or gush the way some of the other courtiers and nobles did in hope of receiving favor. Because Merlin didn't want favor, at least not that he would admit. He was there to assist Arthur in whatever task arose. From the tiniest errand, to the most life-threatening effort. And it wasn't just duty, or destiny. Merlin would do anything and everything for Arthur because... he loved him. Arthur sighed, letting that bounce around in his mind.  
  
His decision was made in the darkest part of the night.  
  
The choice made, Arthur got out of bed and dressed quickly in casual clothes, hauling on his riding boots and warmest cloak. Slipping away in the middle of the night alone would surely raise eyebrows with the night guard, but he was the king and his orders would be obeyed. Quickly, he wrote a note to Guinevere about the governance of his kingdom while he is away. He left it on his bed, for the servants to find and deliver in the morning.  
  
He quietly saddled his own horse, since no stable boys were up this early, and rode to the gate. “Open up,” he ordered the guards. “And please notify Sir Leon, when he wakes, that I have gone and should return tomorrow or will send word.”  
  
The guard looked perplexed, but obeyed. His, “Yes, Your Majesty,” was all Arthur heard, as he rode out the gate and into the darkness.  
  
His senses were alert in the crisp night as he rode on the familiar road. Probably not the best idea to be out here alone. In his head, Merlin was chastising him over his decision. Guinevere scolded him, as well.  
  
After several hours, he could see the first signs of morning as the hue of the sky faded from black into blue-grey and the shadows of trees and mountains became visible. The sun was just peeking above the horizon as he rode into Ealdor. No one was moving about and he slowed his horse to muffle his arrival.  
  
Deciding it was too early to knock on Hunith's door, he led his mount to the stream on the other side of the village. He would water the horse and wait.  
  
The bubbling stream ran through a clearing surrounded by thick woods. When they had come here to protect Ealdor from Kanen, he had reluctantly followed Gwen one morning to fetch water. She had made him carry heavy wooden buckets to one of the well-worn spots where the villagers filled their pots and vessels. He filled them and then proceeded to slosh most of the water out by the time he had waddled back to Hunith's hut. Gwen and Merlin had giggled about it for days.

The sunlight had not yet reached into the clearing through the dense trees, but Arthur could still make out a lone figure sitting on a fallen log beside the stream. Arthur would recognize him anywhere. 

Arthur tied his horse to a tree and stalked up behind his servant. The noise from the stream must have hidden his footsteps, for Arthur was very close when Merlin's head snapped around in surprise.  
  
Arthur grabbed Merlin by his tunic, hauled him off the log and slammed him against the nearest tree.  
  
Merlin's eyes were wide and his face alarmed. “Arthur...what?...”  
  
Arthur pinned him to the large trunk, hands on either side of him. “Why didn't you tell me?” It was less of a question and more of a demand.  
  
Merlin stared back at him. He looked confused. “What...? I mean...I told you why.” 

Everything Arthur was feeling and had bottled up inside wanted to rush out. Merlin had always had that effect on him. Things he would never have told anyone, he had confessed to his servant over the years. Right now, he had no idea what he was feeling, but it was coming out and Merlin was the target. “Not. About. The magic,” he snarled, narrowing his eyes at the man squirming in front of him.  
  
Merlin's face scrunched up and he frowned, looking at a point over Arthur's shoulder, as if deep in thought. “I... don't know what...” He shook his head in confusion.  
  
The sun had risen enough that when Arthur groped into his pocket and produced the crystal, it sparkled as it caught the light. He held it up to Merlin's face, and Merlin jerked his head back against the tree.

“Why didn't you tell me about your...feelings.”  
  
Merlin's face paled, his jaw slackened and his mouth gaped. After a moment of staring back at Arthur, Merlin turned his head, as if he couldn't bear to look any longer. His white skin flushed pink, then red all the way to the tips of his ears. He said nothing, but Arthur could see his embarrassment.  
  
“I've been mulling this over all night, wondering why you would push me to Gwen when you...” He lowered his voice. “You never do anything without a reason, Merlin.” Merlin raised his eyes and glanced at him quickly and then looked back at the ground. “What was it?” Arthur continued. He waited and watched Merlin shift nervously, as much as he could while pinned to the tree. To Arthur, he appeared mortified; still flushed red and uncharacteristically silent.  
  
“What was your plan, that you dissuaded me from the Lady Vivianne?”  
  
Merlin looked up, glowering. “Dissuaded you? You were enchanted and she was horrible.”  
  
“What about Princess Elena?”  
  
“She was a changeling!” Merlin spluttered. “And after she wasn't, you two decided not to marry. I had nothing to do with it.”

“Oh, you always have something to do with _everything_ , Merlin,” Arthur growled. “What about Princess Mithian?” Arthur raised an eyebrow, then added severely. “Be careful, she is a friend and ally.”  
  
Merlin's glance dropped back to the ground and he hesitated before saying, “She would have made a lovely queen, but you were still pining for Gwen.”  
  
“Exactly, Merlin. Gwen was your idea. I had never thought of her that way, didn't even notice her. What was it about her that raised her above all the others?”  
  
Merlin swallowed nervously and then he sagged. His face slid into a forlorn expression and he worried at his lower lip, while his eyes filled with tears, and something that looked like regret. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then turned his head away, too upset to say it, it seemed.  
  
Arthur backed away a little, to give him room, but continued to watch this powerful sorcerer break down in front of him. He'd never seen Merlin this vulnerable and was equally alarmed and curious. His servant had always been the one to keep Arthur together, finding the solutions, grounding him. He had never needed to reciprocate.  
  
Merlin finally took a deep breath and whispered brokenly, “She is your true love.”  
  
“Meaning?”  
  
Merlin wiped his nose with his sleeve. “Meaning, what else could I do? She was your true love, so I did what I could to bring you two together.”  
  
“Who said she was my true love?”  
  
“It was when you were enchanted by Lady Vivianne. I tried all the spells I could find to break it, but nothing worked. The dragon said the only thing to break the enchantment was true love.”  
  
“The dragon said... Gwen was my true love.”  
  
“No, he said you'd be released from the enchantment by true love's kiss,” Merlin corrected and then added sadly, “It worked.”  
  
Arthur's was beginning to understand.  
  
“You love her, don't you?” Merlin asked. “I mean, she's an excellent queen for Camelot. And you.” Merlin stood up taller, recomposing himself.  
  
Arthur frowned. “Yes, of course, I love her.”  
  
“I know. I knew it...I had no plan. I just wanted you to be happy.” 

Arthur heard the meaning in Merlin's words. He softened and leaned in closer to Merlin. “Before Gwen, I felt... something...I mean I thought there was something. But, then you pushed me to her and I thought I had been...mistaken.”  
  
Merlin stared back at him. “It doesn't matter. Why are we having this conversation? You love her and she loves you.” It was delivered matter-of-factly with a touch of bitterness.  
  
“You should have said something.” 

“What could I have said? Did you want me to spill my feelings to you?” Merlin asked harshly. “There was no point.” He sighed and looked away.

  
“Wait, the dragon...” Arthur knew he was missing something there. His thoughts whirred through the memories from the crystal. “What did the dragon say about us, Merlin? I remember something... about a coin?” 

Merlin looked thoughtful for a moment, “He said we were two sides of a coin. He was always talking in odd, cryptic riddles.”  
  
“What else?” Arthur prodded. “Did he say anything more?” 

“He said plenty, mostly about our destiny and how I was meant to protect you-”  
  
“Not about that. Specifically, about our relationship.”  
  
Merlin looked around, frowning, as if the answers would drop from the sky. “There was something about our paths together being the truth.” Arthur looked at Merlin pointedly.  
  
“Well, it was ten years ago! You think I can remember every word?” This time Merlin closed his eyes and breathed softly in and out. When he opened them, he said in a low voice, “That your and Arthur's path lie together, is but the truth.” Then, “And, there was something else.”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Remember when you unfairly sacked me when Valiant came for the tournament?” Arthur grinned at that remark.. “I went to the dragon and told him our destiny was over because you hated me.” This time, Arthur raised both brows in mockery.  
  
“I know it was childish, I was young and you were a prat. Anyway, the dragon said, “The half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.” Merlin finished triumphantly at his recollection.  
  
“What? What was that, again?”  
  
Merlin repeated it, looking at Arthur questioningly.  
  
Arthur swayed. Stepping back, he turned away from Merlin, looking instead at the stream. His breathing felt labored and he clenched his fists.  
  
“Arthur?”  
  
He wheeled back around accusingly. “You listened to the dragon about my true love, Merlin, but you never considered his words about us being _two parts of a whole_? Or that we _complete each other_?” Merlin's eyes widened, as Arthur stepped forward and pressed him back into the tree glaring incredulously.  
  
“I...uh..”  
  
“Gods, Merlin. Were you dropped on your head as a baby?” Arthur asked. “This prophecy is making more sense by the minute,” he mumbled, but Merlin apparently heard him.  
  
“It doesn't matter. I don't let my feelings get in the way.” Merlin was looking embarrassed, as if he was the one responsible for the cryptic words and not the bloody dragon. “I'll stand beside you like I always have. Nothing has to change.”  
  
“Right. You've never made any decision based on your feelings for me,” Arthur said dubiously. “ _Everything's_ changed.”  
  
Merlin realized his faux pas and turned his head away, again. “It doesn't matter,” he repeated solemnly.  
  
Arthur surged forward, grasping Merlin's tunic. “It matters to me.” He remembered the crystal still in his palm and lifted it up, waving it in Merlin's line of sight. “This crystal...I know now how you feel. I saw and felt _everything_.” Merlin winced and tried to pull away, but Arthur held him in place. “Merlin, it was exquisite. It took my breath away...”

Arthur trailed off looking into Merlin's eyes. His heart was beating rapidly with their bodies in such close proximity. He felt Merlin's breath hitch but then his friend turned away from him once again.  
  
“Merlin, look at me,” he commanded, reaching out and tugging Merlin's chin, turning his face towards him. Merlin looked startled and weary and definitely not understanding what Arthur was saying.  
  
Arthur snaked his hand through the black hair, tipping the warlock's head forward slowly until their foreheads touched. He breathed heavily and his pulse kept time with his heart beat. “Do you really think,” he continued in a low whisper, “that I don't feel this?” 

Merlin was motionless and they stayed pressed together for long minutes, then Arthur pulled back slightly to allow his lips to brush Merlin's forehead. 

 

After the intensity of their conversation at the stream, Arthur welcomed late breakfast with Hunith. She buzzed around piling porridge in bowls and brown bread onto plates for them, smiling like hosting the king of Camelot was an everyday occurrence. Although she respected him as king, he was just Arthur to her and he liked that. Like mother, like son, it seemed.  
  
When they were done, Arthur helped clear the dishes, much to Merlin's amusement. “Unlike you, I can carry plates to be washed without breaking them,” Arthur chided and realized it had been weeks since he had bantered with Merlin. It eased some of the tension, and Merlin's soft smile indicated he felt the same.  
  
Arthur walked back over stood in front of the table. Merlin tapped his fingers on the table and kept his eyes down as if unsure where to look. “Merlin, I'd like you to come back to Camelot. With me.”  
  
Merlin lifted his head slowly and looked up at him with a guarded expression.  
  
“We have a lot to resolve with regards to the prophecy and magic.”  
  
Something flitted through Merlin's expression that Arthur couldn't read, but then he nodded and said, “Yes, of course.”  
  
The following day they rode in companionable silence most of the way back to the castle. It felt right to have Merlin beside him again, as if Arthur had misplaced part of himself and now it had been restored. There was still much to unravel between them, but now it felt possible.  
  
When they had stabled their horses and strode through the courtyard, Arthur said, “I will be calling a special council meeting this afternoon. I'd like you to attend. I'll send a page to fetch you to the council room.”  
  
Merlin slowed beside him, and tipped his head. “Yes...Sire,” he said tentatively.  
  
“I'm sure Gaius will be happy to see you,” Arthur said. “I've got to catch up on what I've missed yesterday.” He turned and headed to his chambers to face the queen for his disappearance.  
  
He barely had time to change his tunic before someone was knocking on his door. Leon entered. “Sire, you've returned.”  
  
“Yes, I had a matter of urgency I had to take care of,” Arthur said. “I assume you led the knight trainings?”  
  
Leon recounted the latest maneuvers and exercises and how each knight and trainee faired. One thing he could count on from Leon, was a detailed narrative.  
  
“I'm gathering a small meeting later today and would like you there,” Arthur said as he rifled through the papers that Merlin normally organized for him. There seemed to be a much larger pile than usual without Merlin's assistance and he had no idea how to make sense of it all.  
  
“Of course, Sire. Did I see Merlin return with you?”  
  
Arthur looked up from his papers. Leon looked back at him with a hint of a smile. Arthur sighed. “Yes. I brought him back. We've a lot to discuss to move forward, but I think it can work out.”  
  
After a busy lunch, which consisted of Arthur nibbling on fruit and cheese as he rifled through the paperwork he had been neglecting, Leonard appeared to help him change for the meeting. He wanted to sit down with his closest advisors to get their thoughts and ideas about magic. These were his most trusted friends and confidants. He was almost certain of their support, which he would need if he was indeed going to allow magic into Camelot.  
  
When he arrived in the small council room, he saw Merlin and Gaius already seated, whispering together. They stopped talking as he entered the room. 

Merlin's expression was hard to read. His body language was stiff and reserved but his eyes searched Arthur's for a moment before looking away. Arthur sat down beside him. The man's reaction was hardly noticeable unless you were looking, but his shoulders relaxed slightly and his face softened.  
  
Leon came in with Gwen, who sat to Arthur's right. She leaned over and gave Arthur a kiss on the cheek. When he saw the dark curly hair and red cape of Mordred sweep into the room, Arthur motioned for the knight to fill the empty seat across from him. 

To his left, he heard an unintelligible sound. “What is _he_ doing here?” Merlin hissed in his ear.  
  
He turned and leaned toward his former servant. “I asked him to attend,” he said under his breath. Mordred looked between them uncertainly. Arthur sighed and stood to begin the meeting.  
  
“I called this meeting today because I am considering allowing magic back into Camelot. As you know, I have been gathering facts and information from different sources to aid in my decision. Your thoughts, ideas and questions are important to me and will help determine if I move forward with this.” 

He nodded to a large pile of papers on the table in front of him. Geoffrey had been shocked when Arthur had asked him to deliver all of the documents about Camelot's laws on magic. “These laws have stood for nearly 30 years. So far during my reign, my position on magic has been neutral. It's time to take a look at these laws and determine if they still make sense.”

Arthur didn't look at Merlin when he spoke. “I never agreed with my father's harsh punishments for sorcerers. I wish to hear from each of you,” Arthur said looking around the table. He added, “You may speak freely here and everything that is said, is said in confidence.”  
  
For a moment or two nobody said anything, then they looked at each other, as if deciding who would speak first.  
  
“I have suffered greatly due to magic and King Uther's laws against it,” Gwen began. “My father was executed not for using magic, but for helping a sorcerer. He didn't know and he was all but forced to help him. Still the law was enforced.” She took a breath. “I, too have been accused of and imprisoned for sorcery, though I have no magic. I do not believe this is fair or just. That being said, I have seen the destruction and evil that magic can cause. Even from those who I used to call friend.”

Gwen looked down at her hands and everyone was aware to whom she was referring. “But, I have recently learned that magic can be used for protection, healing and as a beneficial tool. I think it wise to see how magic may contribute to Camelot and it's people.”  
  
“Thank you, Gwen,” Arthur smiled. “Leon?”  
  
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Leon answered, then frowned, as if considering his words. “I, too have seen the horrors of magic. Undead armies, magical beasts and deadly weapons have attacked and been used against Camelot since I have served as a knight.” He sighed gently. “Yet, if not for the druids, their kindness and the Cup of Life, I would be dead. This fact leads me to believe that magic isn't all evil.”  
  
Arthur turned to Mordred who cleared his throat. “I was raised in a druid village where magic was used freely and with respect. It was viewed as a gift for the entire community. We are taught that magic is intention of spirit. It is part of nature, the earth and everything that surrounds us. Some who have magic can manipulate this energy to encourage crops to grow, heal sickness or move objects. It is a craft; a practice that can be learned and enhanced.” Mordred had been very quiet since his arrival at Camelot and had never given details of his life before. Here was a peek into druid life through the eyes of a trusted knight. Arthur scanned the room to see everyone's attention on the boy.

Except Merlin's. His head was turned away and he was looking out the window.  
  
Gaius spoke next, his voice heavy with meaning. “I am an old man. I have seen many, many things in my life. Yes, magic has been outlawed for most of your lives.” He nodded around the table. “But, before the purge, it was used freely in Camelot. And Camelot thrived.” 

“I thought magic had nearly destroyed the kingdom?” Leon asked. Everyone else nodded.  
  
“Uther had a magic council, of which I was a member,” Gaius said. “There were no magical threats to the crown then, because there was no reason for one. Of course, some chose not to follow the rules, and they were punished. But, having magic was not a crime in itself. I, too have seen both the good and the wicked sides of magic. It is, as Mordred said, a power to be respected. I have no doubt you could successfully create harmony with magic in Camelot, Your Majesty, ” he finished.  
  
“Thank you, Gauis. You will be instrumental in helping this transition, if I allow it. And I do want to. For Camelot. To allow freedom for all its subjects and to offer opportunities most of us have never seen. And, to be honest, as a defense against threats that can only be fought with magic.” 

Arthur turned to Merlin and waited for him to speak, but Merlin remained silent. “Merlin?” he said.  
  
Merlin sank lower in his seat, as if trying to hide. Arthur leaned on his elbow toward him. “Merlin...”  
  
Merlin took a moment. He breathed a few times and then appeared to grow taller, surer. Arthur recognized this shift. The clumsy servant, unsure and ordinary was not who this man truly was. It was the role he played, the lie he lived, to stay beside Arthur. “I was born with magic,” he stated, unapologetically. “I could float objects before I could walk or talk. My mum kept it hidden, always scolding me to keep it a secret. Ealdor is a small village and she realized I would need a bigger place to be if I was not to get caught. And possibly to find a purpose for my...gift.  
  
“I did find that purpose,” he said and turned to Arthur. “I have spent my years protecting Camelot, the knights, Ar...His Majesty. My loyalty has been and always will remain here. I am sorry I couldn't...didn't tell you sooner." 

Arthur wasn't sure if that last bit was aimed at him or at everyone. Most likely, both. There was silence around the table. Merlin looked solemn and his gaze dropped to his hands fidgeting on the table.  
  
“Thank you, Merlin,” Sir Leon said. “I can't imagine how many times you stepped in to help us over the years, even if we didn't know it.” A small smile formed on Merlin's lips as he raised his eyes to look at Leon. Gwen reached across Arthur to squeeze Merlin's hands. Merlin returned the smile and Arthur saw the relief on Merlin's face. Relief that he would be accepted, even if he had magic.  
  
“Arthur, are you truly considering this?” Gaius asked.  
  
“Yes, I am,” he said resolutely. “But...I also have something to add.” His own story had started all of this. It felt like his own secret needed to be revealed.  
  
He stood up. “I was born because of magic.” There was a gasp. “The queen could not conceive. The king was desperate for an heir and turned to his magical counselor for help.” Arthur could barely speak the words, though he knew now they were true. “The priestess, Nimueh, used magic to create a life...me. But, she didn't explain that a life would be taken in balance. I don't know if my father was aware of this, but regardless, my mother's life was forfeit when I was born.” He stopped to take a breath and glanced around the table at all the eyes fixed on him with horrified intensity.  
  
“When he realized what had happened, my father went wild with rage. He blamed Nimueh, and worse, he blamed magic. The very thing he had turned to for help, was now his enemy. The Purge began and his revenge was never satisfied. All magicians paid the price for his hubris...” his voice broke and he sat down in his chair as he envisioned all the sorcerer's who had been burned, hung and killed.

He felt Merlin's comforting touch on his arm.

Arthur didn't want to dwell on the circumstances of his birth, but he did want the people in this room to understand the facts. Merlin and Gaius already knew the story, but the rest of them had never heard the true reason for Uther's purge. Arthur could tell by the shock on their faces.

“I don't want innocents to suffer or live in fear. Those who use magic be should not be treated differently. This is why I have asked you here today. So, we can begin to heal the wounds of the past and stop making the same mistakes in the future.”   
  
As he paused to gaze around, he was pleased by what he saw. Mordred's eyes were shining with unshed tears, Gaius nodded, Leon's face was steadfast and he knew he had his support, Gwen was smiling and Merlin beamed.  
  
“Now, let's talk about what concerns you have about magic in Camelot,” Arthur said. 

“I feel the people will be frightened,” Gwen said. 

“How so?”  
  
“They may think it's a trick to catch them practicing magic and arrest them. When it comes to magic there has been no mercy.”  
  
“Yes,” Arthur acknowledged. “We will need to convince them that using magic is no longer forbidden.”  
  
“How will we do that, Sire?” Leon asked.  
  
Arthur looked to Gaius, Mordred, Merlin. “We will show them.” Leon still looked confused. “We start here in the citadel. I was treated to an amazing show of magic at a feast in Nemeth.”  
  
“If the people see the king and queen enjoying magic, it would go a long way to quelling their fear,” Gwen agreed.  
  
“It would be a start,” Mordred agreed. 

“How will we supervise it? What if a sorcerer does mean harm or does something against the law?” Leon countered. 

“They will be tried according to their actual crimes. Not magic itself, but the act of violence, thievery, or whatever,” Arthur explained. “In places where magic is not illegal, there is little issue with this. As Gaius said, it is a natural part of everyday life. Did Camelot operate like this before the purge?” he directed his question to the physician. 

Gaius looked thoughtful. “Mostly. Yes, petty magic was just normal. There were healers, and wise women. Most had very little magic to speak of. They could not cause much harm or change much in their lives beyond simple love potions, nudging crops to grow faster or helping heal sickness with charms and herbs. 

“There were many more sorcerer's then, of course. Some did have intense magic. A few pushed their power and provoked trouble, but the were dealt with fairly and justly. The purge essentially began when King Uther suspected Nimueh of being unfaithful to the crown after the Queen’s death and Arthur's birth. Uther banished her and then spent years searching for her, trying to destroy her.”  
  
“What happened to her?” Mordred asked, wide eyed. 

Arthur turned his head toward Merlin and raised an eyebrow in question. At Merlin's nod, Arthur said, “She's dead.” No one asked any more questions. 

“Sire, it might be advantageous to have someone we trust oversee the magicians in the kingdom. If one should get out of line... how would we stop them? Or if someone still wanted revenge on you, we would need a way to counter them,” Leon said.  
  
These questions Arthur had previously asked himself, but Merlin was the answer to all of it. “Yes. I agree. I have someone in mind.”  
  
“Won't the people wonder why? I mean, you've been king for five years and suddenly this change of heart about magic?” Gwen asked.  
  
Gwen was correct. If he was to make this work, he would need to present it to the people in the right way.  
  
“Yes, we need to address that. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Is there anyone here who is worried about me moving to the next step?” Arthur asked.  
  
No one spoke until Gaius asked, “What is the next step, Sire?”  
  
"A slow drip of change might allow people to come to terms with it, but might also cause confusion and allow resentment to build up, while a simple rescinding of the law will be a shock, but is also over more quickly. I wish to think further on that. If any of you have suggestions, I would be happy to hear them. In the meantime do not speak of this to anyone, until it is time to announce it. We will meet again soon.”  
  
Arthur dismissed the meeting and began gathering his documents. When he looked up the room was empty except for a very grumpy looking Merlin. 

“I thought you'd be pleased,” Arthur said, somewhat irked by Merlin's state. “Isn't bringing magic back to Camelot what you wanted? Out with it. What's on your mind?”  
  
Merlin seem to settle slightly and then said, “Do you need anything, Sire?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I mean, shall I resume my duties serving you?” Merlin said in a much meeker tone. 

“Leonard has taken over as my manservant in your...absence. He's doing well.”  
  
“Oh...”  
  
Arthur sighed. “Merlin, you can't continue to be my servant.”  
  
“Right. Yes, I know. I just thought, well... Gaius does need a full time assistant.”  
  
Irritated, Arthur said,“I thought you were going to be my magical advisor or would you rather use your magic to heal the sick?”  
  
“When did you ask to me to do that?” Merlin asked, incredulously. 

“In the meeting.”  
  
“What? Wait, when you said you _knew someone._ That was you asking?” Merlin asked in a clipped tone.  
  
“Yes. Who else would I ask?”  
  
“Maybe Mordred,” Merlin muttered, but Arthur heard him. Clearly.  
  
“Ah. Now we're getting to the heart of it.”  
  
“Why was he here?” Merlin asked. It sounded childish and Arthur rolled his eyes.  
  
“Merlin, not that again. I asked him to be part of this. He has magic. He is a druid.”  
  
“Yes, a druid who is supposed to kill you.”  
  
“He's a trusted knight.” 

“Destined to be your end.” 

“Merlin.” Arthur took a breath and calmed himself. “He's done nothing yet to make me believe that. How can I punish him for what he _might_ do? You don't even know for sure.”  
  
“Well, in this, I don't want to be right.” Merlin clenched his fists until his knuckles were white.  
  
“If we're honest with him. If we include him in our plans, then he will have no reason to turn against me,” Arthur explained. “I've thought a lot about this. Mordred doesn't seem to know about his role in the prophecy. Instead of pushing him, maybe telling the truth and bringing him into the fold, would change his destiny.”  
  
Merlin raised his voice and stood up forcefully, pushing his chair behind him. “Oh, right. So, by talking to him you plan to thwart a thousand-year old prophecy?”  
  
“Merlin-”  
  
“Arthur, I've tried. I have _been_ trying to change your destiny, keep you safe, and do everything in my power to stop this from happening. It's not working.” Merlin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You can't even begin to know what it means just to have you _considering_ allowing magic into Camelot.”  
  
“I'm glad to hear there is something your pleased with,” Arthur said. “But?”  
  
“But, none of all these great changes you are trying to make will make one bit of difference if you're dead!” It was delivered with such force and distress that Arthur flinched. He wasn't sure what to say and Merlin didn't seem to need a response. Instead, he stormed out of the council room, slamming the door, leaving Arthur alone. Arthur rubbed his hands over his tired eyes and now pounding head.  
  
The day-to-day business of the kingdom, plus slogging through the papers outlining the Laws of Camelot and Magic Use, kept Arthur's mind occupied and his schedule full the next two days. He hadn't seen Merlin and assumed he was helping Gaius. Or was just avoiding him.  


More than anyone else, he needed a long conversation with Merlin. They hadn't really talked about things, not like he wanted. He knew how worried Merlin was. As much as he wanted to avoid thinking about it, Arthur knew he had to face the prophecy and make a decision. Or at least discuss it with his _other half._  
Dealing with feelings, was not something he ever wanted to do. But, there was only so much practical strategy he could plan for. To move forward with his plans, he needed Merlin's guidance.  
  
It was late when he heard a surprise knock at his chambers door. “Come in.” The door opened and Merlin was standing there with a dopey grin and a very large flagon of wine. Arthur said nothing, but gestured for him to enter. Merlin shuffled in and placed the wine on the table.  
  
“No cheese?” Arthur asked, as he filled two large goblets and passed one to Merlin.  
  
Merlin shrugged, sat down and drained the cup.  
  
“That fast? You know you can't hold your drink Merlin,” Arthur said downing his own wine .  
  
Merlin put the goblet down and looked at Arthur. “I...I wanted to apologize.”  
  
“Now, I know you're drunk.”  
  
“Arthur,” Merlin pleaded. Arthur nodded for him to continue.   
  
“I'm sorry for losing my temper after the meeting. I haven't been fair to you. This is all new and you've been so accepting, except when you first found out about me. But, then the added weight of the prophecy and allowing magic...” he trailed off and looked deep into Arthur's eyes for a few breaths. “This is your life; your kingdom. It's your decision. It wasn't fair of me to try and push you into something.”  
  
“Knowing how strongly you feel, Merlin, I'm a bit surprised at your apology.” Arthur refilled his own cup and stayed silent. From the pensive look on Merlin's face, he had a feeling there was more coming.  
  
“No matter your decision, I will stand by your side and support you, as I always have. My magic is yours. Whether you accept or deny the prophecy, I will do everything I can to keep you safe.”  
  
“I see,” Arthur said.  
  
Merlin looked at him expectantly, but Arthur said nothing more. He finished his wine and poured more for both of them. They may as well both be deep in their cups if they were going to talk about this.  
  
Merlin was starting to feel the effects of wine. It was the same every time. First, the tips of his ears went a deep pink, then his eyelids would blink. Arthur tried not to get distracted by the blue and black fluttering before him.  
  
His own head had the early signs of being disconnected and fuzzy. Good. It was the only way he could continue this. “You're wrong,” he said. Merlin frowned “It's not my decision. Not _only_ mine. But, you can't see past the repercussions for me. My death, my destruction.” Merlin winced at his words. “What about you, Merlin? I recall there was quite a bit in the scroll about you. If I could remember...” Merlin's eyes went wide. “What is it?” 

Merlin shrugged off his brown and rather tattered coat, and dug through the pockets, searching for something. “I'd forgotten,” he said excitedly and pulled out a crumpled piece of what looked like parchment. “I made a copy of the prophecy. Remember?” He unfolded it and tried to smooth it out on the table.  
  
Arthur stood up and moved behind Merlin, so he could look over his shoulder. He read until he found what he was looking for. “ _the mage will live eternal impeded, his penance for words gone unheeded,”_ he read aloud and the words felt heavy on his tongue.

Merlin turned his head and stepped back. 

“Merlin, this is what the prophecy is about. Us. Not just me. Though it pains me to say this,” he paused and formed a devious smile. “We are equals.”  
  
Merlin's eyebrow's lifted as high as Gauis's. “Now, who's drunk?” He smiled, ears fully red.  
  
Arthur walked back to his seat, Merlin's fond gaze following him. He definitely needed more wine. 

“I spoke to Gaius about the prophecy. He seemed to believe it authentic,” Arthur said. “I mean, actually from a goddess or god. What do you think?”  
  
Merlin tilted his head, considering. “I definitely felt something ancient and deep when I touched the scrolls.”  
  
Arthur nodded, sipping from his goblet. “Your best guess is that this is real?”  
  
“I don't know for sure, Arthur, but if I have to answer, then... yes.”  
  
Arthur let that knowledge settle over him. It was hard to believe divinity had actually created the scrolls and prophecies about _them._ “I've been denying it. Trying to push it away...” he started. Merlin's attention was fixed on him. “I couldn't understand why I was so upset about it. I have never stinted in my efforts for Camelot. But, this? It felt different. Wrong. And I couldn't think why, Merlin.” He stood up and paced to the window, even though it was too dark to see anything outside. 

The wine had loosened his tongue or he would have never kept talking. He turned around and looked at Merlin. His face was lit by the flames in the fireplace adding to the redness from the wine. He was very still and watching Arthur intensely. 

Arthur waved his goblet in the air. “It was the whole destiny thing,” he admitted, as he wandered back to the table. “There you were, offering me the answer. The promise to save Camelot. I knew you were willing. But, I was selfish, Merlin.”  
  
Merlins eyes went wider and he downed what was left in his cup.  
  
“I didn't want you to do it because of destiny. Or worse, out of some duty to protect me.” He stopped right in front of Merlin and squatted down, eyes level with Merlin's. “I needed to know you wanted to bond with me because  _you_ wanted to.”  
  
Merlin flushed, staring at him eyes still wide. Then he reached out, touching Arthur's knee. It felt like a brand where Merlin wrapped his fingers around Arthur's kneecap.  
  
A breathy word that sounded like his name broke the silence. “You must know that I...” He hesitated. Then, suddenly Merlin sat back in his chair. “We can't...I mean...Gwen,” he whispered.  
  
Arthur shifted back slightly, head spinning, but remained kneeling in front of him. “Eloquently spoken.”  
  
Merlin snorted and tried to stand up, but Arthur placed his hands on Merlin's thighs and held him in the chair. “I spoke to Gwen.”  
  
“Oh, gods. Does she know about the prophecy?”  
  
“Of course she does. I had to tell her, _Mer_ lin. She is my wife and this very much concerns her.”  
  
Merlin put his face in his palms and groaned. 

“She was upset, but she understands. She spoke to Gaius. She said that this is, and I quote, _“bigger than the king and queen of Camelot.”_ And that she wouldn't be the downfall of Camelot or me.”  
  
“What does that mean?” Merlin asked, frowning.  
  
“It means, the enormity of our destinies may require some sacrifice. Gwen knows that the bond will...change things, between us. She has accepted it.”  
  
“But, she is your queen.”  
  
“Yes, and I will not put her aside. She will always be Queen of Camelot,” Arthur said. 

Gently, he tugged Merlin's hands into his own while Merlin avoided his gaze. “The druid elder said this bond is more than a marriage. Gwen will always be my wife, but you...” Arthur waited until Merlin looked at him. “You are my other half.”

Merlin froze, and Arthur kept going. “You will be everything to me. Hell, you already are.” This time, Arthur turned away, afraid of showing his feelings.  
  
“I thought _you_ were the most important person to you,” Merlin chuckled softly.  
  
Arthur smiled and took a deep breath. He was thankful for the respite, but there was more to say and he wasn't going to let this chance pass. “Are you sure you want to bind yourself to me?” he asked.  
  
Merlin shook his head. “Why would you ask that? You know I do. There's no one else.”  
  
“But, your magic. You're so powerful. You don't have to bond with anyone. I don't think you realize your potential.” Arthur stood and went back to his chair. He poured the last of the wine into their goblets. “It's like you're the King of Magic.”  
  
Merlin practically spat out his mouthful of wine. “The King of Magic? You better stop drinking, Arthur.” His smile was fond.  
  
“What will the actual ritual be like? Do you know?” Arthur asked. “We didn't receive much information from the druid elder. Animal sacrifices and dancing naked round a fire?”  
  
Merlin rolled his eyes. “The blood part seemed pretty straight forward. Most likely we'll have to cut our hands or something and seal them together.” Arthur nodded, that sounded much better.  
  
“The binding of souls is trickier. I couldn't find much in Gaius's books about it. And this bond seemed pretty rare. I'm assuming my magic will be involved somehow, but I'm not sure.”  

“And the joining of our bodies?” Arthur's voice was low and he leaned toward Merlin over the table.

Merlin's face reddened and he swallowed. “Sex magic.”  
  
Arthur gazed at Merlin. Thoughts of him and Merlin entwined flickered through his head, heating his body.  
  
“You realize what that means, Arthur?” Merlin asked, softly. 

“Yes.”  
  
“Are you... alright with that?”  
  
Arthur thought for a moment, which was beginning to be a challenge with the wine buzzing in his head. He had never lain with a man before; never really considered it. But this was Merlin. It felt right. His heart was pounding with the idea that he could claim this man as his own, forever. He nodded, “Yes. Definitely.”  
  
Merlin's eyes narrowed in the candlelight. “Are you willing to bind yourself to a sorcerer?”  
  
“I am.”  
  
“A dragon lord?”  
  
“Yes,” Arthur answered.  
  
“A servant?”  
  
Arthur sighed. “You are not a servant-”  
  
“The King of Magic?” A smile spread across Merlin's face.

“How about an idiot?” Arthur reached forward and touched the side of Merlin's face. Merlin's eyes closed and he leaned into the touch.  
  
“Are you willing to bind yourself to the King of Camelot?” Arthur asked.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“High King of Albion?”  
  
Merlin opened his eyes, startled. Then answered, “Yes.”  
  
“To...” he hesitated. “To, Arthur?” It had been his fear since adolescence that everyone only saw him as Prince. Or would see him as King. Any friends he had were seeking position or favors. The princess he would marry would be to secure lands or peace or for some business of state.  
  
There were not many who knew the man under the crown. Most didn't care to look. But, there was one who had not only looked, but had peeled back layer upon layer. Had exposed the man for who he really was and who he could be. Who befriended him not because he was Prince, but in spite of it. 

Merlin was shaking as he reached up to grip Arthur's hand. “Gods, yes, Arthur. It's always been you. Only you.”  
  
The intensity of all these feelings slammed into him and Arthur wondered how he ever thought he didn't need this man beside him.  
  
“Is this the wine talking or are you really agreeing to this?” Merlin asked.  
  
Arthur's mouth quirked into a half smile. “I'm not that far gone that I don't know what I'm saying. The wine just makes it easier to say.”  
  
“Maybe, I should go,” Merlin said, pushing back his chair and standing up. His lanky frame swayed a bit and he caught himself on the table.  
  
“You can't even walk properly.”  
  
“I'm sure I can make it back to Gaius's.”  
  
He didn't want Merlin to leave. It was the first night in weeks he'd felt, relaxed and himself. “Will you stay...a little longer?” 

Merlin gathered up the goblets and the empty flagon. “It's impossible to say no to you when you're being nice.”  
  
“Really? I've been going about it wrong all these years. Have to keep that in mind,” Arthur said with a cocky smile. “Let's sit closer to the fire, it's getting drafty in here.”  
  
They moved to the other side of the room and Arthur sat in his chair. Merlin picked up the andirons and began stoking the fire. As Arthur watched, Merlin shrugged. “Habit.”  
  
“Can't you do that with your magic?”  
  
Merlin stilled. “Of course. Do you want me to?”  
  
“I believe I would like to see this magic I am bonding myself to.” The words surprised Arthur as they tumbled out of his mouth. He felt his face heat, and Merlin must have noticed because he chuckled softly.

“As you wish, Your Majesty.” The logs stirred and Arthur felt the surge of heat. Orange flames danced and crackled merrily on the grate, but, Arthur was distracted by Merlin's golden eyes and the hum of magic he now recognized.  
  
“Your eyes.”  
  
The gold faded and Merlin's eyes returned to the deep blue he was used to seeing and a shiver of something that felt like lust caught him unawares. He tried distraction. “Can you find out more about the prophecy ritual?”  
  
Merlin's brow furrowed. “I can contact Iseldir. What else do you want to know?”  
  
“Anything to help us prepare. Can we do this anytime?”  
  
“No. It has to be on a full moon. I talked more about it after you rode back to Camelot,” Merlin explained. Arthur signaled for Merlin to continue. “Well... he said it would take three days-”  
  
“Three days?”  
  
“He said there are phases to the ceremony and some recovery time. I'm not sure what he meant by that.” Arthur must have looked alarmed. “I'll make sure no harm comes to us. Binding of souls is not to be taken lightly.”  
  
“What will happen after? Will you be able to read my thoughts or something?  
  
“Now, you are scaring me,” Merlin teased as he stood and walked over to Arthur. “The druids weren't sure what the effects would be.”  
  
Arthur made a noncommittal noise. Agreeing to this was definitely a leap of faith. With very limited information about the bond itself, plus the fact that he would be linked to Merlin, well, forever, he should be extremely petrified. Oddly, he wasn't.  
  
“When is the next full moon?” he asked, rubbing his hands through his hair.  
  
Merlin looked startled. “We don't have to...I mean there is a full moon every twenty-eight days.” 

“When is the next one, Merlin?” he asked slowly and condescendingly.  
  
“In eight days.” 

They stared at each other. Arthur's heart beat a bit faster.  
  
“Find out what else we need to do to prepare and let the druids know we want to proceed,” he said, dragging his eyes away from Merlin's and over to the fire. “In the meantime, we can discuss changing the Magic Laws of Camelot.”  
  
“Arthur,” Merlin's voice was close behind him, low and raspy. Arthur closed his eyes, using all his training in restraint not to slam Merlin against the wall and kiss him senseless. “Are you sure about this?”  
  
“Yes.” Arthur cleared his throat. He felt a rush of cool air as Merlin moved to gather the flagon and cups. 

“I'll just take these back to the kitchen.” Merlin walked toward the door.  
  
“Merlin,” Arthur called out to him. He waited until Merlin turned and gave him his complete attention. “I just wanted to say...thank you.”  
  
Merlin's head cocked slightly. “For?”  
  
Arthur stood and walked a few steps in his direction. “For everything. For saving me, for saving Camelot, for protecting my kingdom, my family, me. For always being there.” 

Merlin smiled. “Always.”  
  
  
  
The following week was filled with revising Camelot's laws on sorcery. Methodically, they were making their way through the stack a curious Geoffrey had delivered to Arthur's chambers.  
  
“Can't we get Gaius to help as well? He may have some helpful suggestions,” Merlin complained.  
  
Arthur looked up from his pile. “Yes, that's a good idea. Take these back to your room.” He indicated the papers on the other side of the table. “Have you been able to contact Iseldir about the ritual?”  
  
“Not yet, but I think I may have found a way to send word magically, rather than riding out to the camp,” Merlin said.  
  
“How? The mind speak?”  
  
“Yes. But it is a great distance, so I'm not sure if it will work. I'll try it tonight.”

The next day after the council meeting, Merlin waited while Arthur finished chatting with Lord Bronston. He was always the last to leave and Arthur was less than fond of the him. The man's face was so bloated it looked like he ate most of Camelot's grain stores himself. Merlin frequently made jokes about his enormous stomach or red pinched face.  
  
When the noble finally sauntered out of the room, Merlin walked over. “It worked!” His smile practically reached his ears. “I talked to Iseldir and he gave me the information to prepare for the ceremony.” He waved a piece of parchment. “Here is a list of items to bring with us,” Merlin said. “Two unused daggers, white robes, blankets, furs, food, your crown-” 

“My crown?”  
  
“I guess it's part of the ceremony? The druids are making all the necessary preparations for the ritual. Something about setting up the sacred space and decorating. Iseldir said he would be honored to lead us through the bonding.” Merlin's face pinked slightly and he looked at Arthur expectantly. 

“Alright. Make sure we have everything we need. Have the tailor make new robes, nice ones and order the daggers from our best craftsman. Ensure they are excellent quality, befitting this ceremony. Gather the other supplies and furs for the journey, I don't want to sleep on a bed of leaves. Oh, let's bring a few casks of wine and plenty of cheese, fruit and breads. And some of those strawberry pastries cook made last week. See if she'll make a large batch to take.”  
  
Merlin rolled his eyes. “How are we to carry all that on two horses?” 

Arthur frowned. “We'll have to take a wagon.”  

“A wagon? We're supposed to be going on a hunting trip. That might look a bit suspicious.”  
  
“You'll figure something out.” Arthur raised his eyebrow and smiled. 

 

With only three days before they were to leave, Arthur brought the small group together for an update. Gauis, Merlin and he had spent days checking and making changes to the sorcery laws.  
  
It wasn't as easy as just decreeing that magic was now allowed. Arthur wanted to be sure they were ready and the changes were made slowly. 

“I'm planning a feast at Beltane to announce my decision to the kingdom,” Arthur began. “When Merlin and I return from our peace treaty with the Druids.” Merlin's excellent idea allowed them to bring the wagon loaded with gifts, plus it showed their commitment to embrace the old ways and make peace with the druids.

“We will permit healing magic and charms within one's own family, first.”  
  
“But, how can we monitor who is doing what?” Gwen asked.  
  
Arthur sighed. “We can't. But, I hope by allowing the small magics, Camelot will get used to the idea of free magic once again. Of course, Merlin will keep a watchful eye.”  
  
“I feel there aren't many left who can do magic. And those who can will take some coaxing to believe it's truly accepted,” Merlin added. The rest around the table nodded their agreement.  
  
“That's why we will have a Beltane Feast and Festival of Magic,” Arthur said. “I want Merlin to show Camelot that magic can be fun and whimsical.” 

“Magic whimsical?” Leon asked. “I can hardly imagine it. Sorry, Merlin.”

Merlin smiled, but it was Gaius who spoke. “I remember great celebrations and magical rituals that the entire town would attend. There were so many magicians back then. Each of us had different talents. One man I knew could manipulate fire. The children loved it.”  
  
“Did you do a lot of magic, Gaius?” Mordred asked.  
  
“Me? No, not really. My strength has always been in the healing arts. Although, many ailments can heal much better if the medicines are mingled with a bit of magic.”  
  
“Could probably make your potions taste better, too,” Gwen joked.  
  
“Merlin will be announced at the feast as the “Royal Mage. ” Arthur declared. “Any issues or questions will go to him.”  
  
He glanced at Merlin, who was blushing. “It may take some time for Merlin to acclimate to his new position and everyone knowing he has magic. But, I am prepared to do whatever to help the transition for him and the kingdom.” 

Merlin would be stepping into an even bigger role once their ceremony was completed. It was Arthur's turn to color a bit, as he thought about all it entailed. They had decided not to tell anyone except Gwen and Gaius about the bonding, for now. There was more than enough for the rest of Camelot to digest. 

“So it is it true you are treating with the druids?” Mordred asked. Arthur had tried to keep their trip confidential, but there were too many preparations to make and gossip had spread through the citadel. Mordred would be the perfect person to bring to a peace mission with the druids. Their secret ceremony was not the time. 

“Merlin and I are meeting with them in a few days to discuss our options. We want to let the druids know they will be allowed freely into Camelot, once we have revised the laws and made it official.” He smiled at Mordred. “I would like you to assume the role of emissary, Mordred, once everything is in place.” Mordred beamed.  
  
The night before they were to leave, Arthur lay in bed not sleeping. He was anxious about the ceremony. His feelings toward Merlin had been locked away years ago. Emotions regretfully pushed down (at least as much as possible). Ones that could not be allowed to bubble up or they may consume him. Arthur had perfected the carefully restrained looks and words when conversing with his former manservant. 

But where would a soul bond leave them? It wasn't just that they would be linked forevermore, but the sex magic part... His heart beat quicker at the thought. How would they act after such an intimate night? True, it was all in the name of destiny and fulfilling the prophecy, but it went much deeper than duty. Merlin's memories surely showed the depth of his feelings for Arthur.  
  
How did he feel about Merlin? There were strong feelings. And attraction. And a comfortableness. But, unlike the calm he felt with Gwen, his emotions toward Merlin were like a storm: frequently fiery and strong and sometimes gentle and soothing. With Merlin, he was totally himself. That was something he had never experienced with anyone else, ever. 

They were close, though recent events had had Arthur questioning that. He hadn't known Merlin as well as he had thought. He sighed. Merlin knew him. Had seen Arthur at his very worst and had stood by him; encouraged him. Wouldn't let him get away with anything, either. Now, Merlin would know the intimate side of Arthur. The only part left untouched by Merlin's encompassing devotion. It excited him and frightened Arthur. He wasn't sure he could ever regain himself once he gave himself to Merlin.  


The morning of their departure, Arthur gazed out the window of his chambers into the courtyard, watching Merlin pack the wagon for the journey to the druid camp. There were rounds of cheese, bottles of wine, baskets of food, utensils, cups, furs, blankets and gods knew what else. Merlin was flushed from the running back and forth, and as if he felt someone watching, he glanced up at Arthur's window. Arthur held the box containing his crown, still wary of how it fit into the bonding ceremony. Tomorrow, as the moon became full, they would begin the ritual that had been foretold for ages.

 

“Tell me again what it's like commanding a dragon,” Arthur asked as they plodded the trail through the forest. Merlin was driving the wagon which slowed their usual pace.  
  
“It's not like commanding; not really. It's more like getting advice,” Merlin replied, looking over at him. “Many times, he's very helpful. And other times, annoying.”  

Arthur shook his head. “I wonder how a dragon could be considered annoying.”  
  
“Want to meet him?” Merlin asked.  
  
“Meet him?” Arthur's face must have look horrified because Merlin laughed. “I might,” he added. “Can't be that bad if he talks to you.”  
  
“He blasted you pretty well last time if I recall.” Merlin giggled, then sat up straight in the wagon bench and said seriously. “Of course, he will never do that again.”  
  
Arthur stared at Merlin's resolute face. It appeared he still blamed himself for all the destruction the dragon caused on Camelot. “It wasn't your fault. You had no choice.”

“I know, I just wish there had been another option.”  

“There wasn't. I saw it all in the crystal.” 

“There were decisions made that I am not proud of...” Merlin began.  
  
“I don't blame you for any of it. You were doing what you had to do to save Camelot and keep me safe.” Merlin looked extremely grateful. It was easy for Arthur to reflect his own gratitude back with a broad smile and a wink. Merlin stilled and his eyes went wide.  
  
“I hope that's not the reaction I'll get during our bonding,” Arthur said boldly.  
  
Merlin blushed bright red. “That's not funny,” Merlin mumbled.  
  
“I'm sorry, let's talk more about your magic. I still have many questions.” There was so much to discuss and Merlin eagerly explained situations and clarified decisions.  
  
As they neared the camp, colorful streamers began to appear, adorning the trees. “They made the preparations for the ceremony.” Merlin smiled and looked around, only to find more, the closer they got to the center of the community. Ribbons of all shapes and sizes were swaying everywhere. There were also wreaths of spring flowers and garlands swagged from low tree branches. It was beautiful. “They look different,” Merlin said, nodding his head toward the druids. Indeed, they were dressed in colorful tunics and dresses with flowers woven in their hair and around their necks.

  
Iseldir met them, as they stopped the wagon and climbed down to secure the horses. “Welcome King Arthur and Merlin.” He bowed slightly in his festive green and blue tunic.  
  
“Thank you, Iseldir,” Arthur clasped the druid's arm in greeting. “We have brought many things for the ceremony and Merlin packed food for the feasting.”  
  
“The people will unpack your belongings. Come, I'll show you to your lodging.” They followed the druid around the lines of colorful tents and huts of the camp until they came to a clearing flanked by ancient trees.  
  
Merlin slowed, then stopped, admiring the trees and reaching out to stroke the trunk of one unusually large, gnarled one. “Sacred Oaks,” he breathed softly.  
  
“Yes, we nurture this grove and honor the oaks. We've set your lodge close by so you can absorb the energy.” 

Arthur ran his hand down one of the bumpy trunks, but didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. 

They came to a rounded building with a brown, thatched roof and several windows covered by linen curtains. Inside, was a table with two chairs, a side table with a wash basin, chamber pot and two pallets with fresh herbs and straw. There were candles set on the tables and a fresh herby smell Arthur couldn't place.  
  
“We'll bring your blankets and things in and make sure everything is in order,” Iseldir said. 

“It's wonderful, thank you again for hosting the ritual for us,” Merlin said and turned to look at Arthur. 

“Yes, many thanks to you and your community for making us feel so welcome,” Arthur added. 

“It is truly an honor and our pleasure for this auspicious occasion.” 

After the furs, bedding and personal belongings were in place- to which Merlin fell back into his manservant job and took extra care of everything, much to Arthur's amusement - they strolled back into camp for some food and drink.

“King Arthur, Emrys.” Iseldir sat at their table, offering wine. “Would you like to know the ceremony details? I have some notes and for you, Merlin, the ritual's spells to be said.” He opened a parchment with some words Arthur couldn't read.  
  
“As the moon is almost full, we will do the blood ritual this evening and the joining and bonding ritual tomorrow night. Then there will be a day of rest to ease into the bond. There may be effects from this powerful bond. We honestly aren't sure, as this bonding is so rare. Tonight at dusk we will feast and as the moon rises over the grove, the blood ceremony will commence. Bring your unused knives, and Your Majesty's crown. We will cleanse and consecrate you both before the ritual begins.”

Arthur could only wonder what that meant. Instead he asked, “The blood ritual? Can you explain what will happen?” 

“Of course. We will make two small cuts, one on your palm and one over your heart. Nothing to worry about.” 

“Iseldir, I have a request on Arthur's behalf,” Merlin said to Arthur's surprise. He turned to glance at Merlin's serious expression and waited. “I want the King to experience the ritual as fully as possible,” he continued. “I would like a potion to allow him to “see” the magic and hear everything, just as I will be able to.” Merlin smiled fondly in Arthur's direction.  
  
“Yes, that's a wonderful idea. I will have the healer create the potions. Now, relax and we will see you back here at dusk for the feast.” Iseldir stood and walked off in what Arthur thought must be in the direction of the druid healers.  
  
“After all this feasting, my clothes won't fit for the ride home,” Arthur said watching Merlin eat a handful of nuts. “So, what is this potion you requested?” 

“I remembered the concoction Gaius made when Uther's spirit was in Camelot.” Merlin twisted in his seat to face Arthur. He tilted his head. “I want you to understand everything that is happening. I know it's important to you. And to me. This is our ceremony and just because you don't have magic... I don't want you to miss anything.”  
  
“Merlin...that's... thank you. I would like that. I only hope it tastes better than Gaius's potion.”  
  
As dusk approached, they gathered the items for the ritual. “I still don't understand why I have to bring my crown,” Arthur said opening the box and removing it gently.  
  
“It's part of the ceremony. Go put on your white robe,” Merlin said. “I laid it on the pallet for you.” 

Shortly after they were dressed, several druids arrived at their lodge. One handed Arthur a vial of potion, which he drank quickly in case it wasn't much better than Gauis's.  
  
“I suppose we are now to be cleansed?” Arthur commented, waggling his eyebrows.  


“You look frighteningly like Gwaine when you do that. Stop it,” Merlin laughed. “We must be pure and consecrated for the ceremony. Don't worry, your honor will still be in tact, My Lord.” 

They were led separately to be washed in a hot spring and then what they called smudged with a smoking dried herb bundle and slathered with some kind of oils and spices. It smelled good and Arthur felt quite relaxed for the ceremony. They led him back to the oak grove where Merlin was already waiting. 

Set up at the entrance to the grove was a long, clothed table loaded with lit candles and flowers. Arthurs saw his crown and the knives placed among other items he didn't recognize. There were candles hanging from the tree boughs, which, coupled with the rising moon, illuminated the entire grove.  
  
The druids were gathered around in their colorful dress. Some were singing a soft song. When Arthur entered the grove, they turned to watch him and bowed.  
  
Merlin was standing in front of Iseldir and hadn't seen Arthur yet. It gave Arthur a chance to study this man he was about to bind himself to. He was tall and broad-chested, not the young wiry boy Arthur recalled from his early days in Camelot. His raven black hair was a bit longer and fuller than he usually wore it. Not a boy at all. A man of eight and twenty, Arthur was pretty sure. He looked quite handsome and now that Arthur was looking, a bit fey. Arthur supposed it was the great magic he wielded.

Merlin's head turned in his direction and he rewarded Arthur's scrutiny with a large smile. Arthur walked to the front of the grove and stood shoulder to shoulder with Merlin. 

“Friends, it is with great honor that we begin the uniting of the Once and Future King and Emrys,” Iseldir proclaimed. There was a great cheer from the camp. Arthur noticed there were quite a lot of people packed into the grove and standing down the trail. Some were holding candles. Some waving ribbons.  
  
“King Arthur Pendragon, we recognize you as the Once and Future King who will lead the realm into great peace and the golden age,” Iseldir continued, picking up the crown and placing it onto Arthur's head. “This crown stands for the justice, honor and wisdom you bring to this bond.” 

“Merlin, Emrys, we recognize you as the most powerful sorcerer of our age and of all ages, one that will free magic and right the balance of the earth, the elements and the fey realm.” A young maiden walked forward holding a floral crown, which after he bent down, she placed on Merlin's head. It was like no crown he had ever seen. Among the flowers were lit candles- thin slivers of light that looked like tiny stars. And many delicate crystals that reflected in the candlelight. There were herbs and flowers and twined vine, the names of which Arthur did not know. 

The sight of Merlin standing before him with the crown on his head should have been ludicrous. Instead, Arthur was awestruck. He couldn't stop staring.

Suddenly, he felt a shift, as if something had opened inside him. He gazed around the candlelit table and crowd of druids and could see a sort-of haze of color. He shook his head to clear it but it didn't help.  
  
“What's wrong?” Merlin whispered.  

“I feel odd. I can see colors and I hear things.” 

“What kind of things?” 

“The trees.” Arthur frowned, tilting his head, to get a better angle.  
  
Merlin reached over and took both his hands. “Arthur, it's the potion. You may see and hear things you never have before. It's perfectly safe. It's the magic.” 

Arthur looked around with fresh eyes, taking in the depth of color, the sounds, and a palpable feeling of energy. “Is this what you see all the time?”  
  
Merlin smiled but didn't reply. He turned back to Iseldir and nodded to him to continue.  
  
“My Lords, please remove your crowns and hold them up before your partner.” They followed instructions, Merlin carefully balancing his candle-lit, magical crown on his long fingers.  
  
“King Arthur, will you bestow your crown of Camelot to the one who is your other half so that you may rule together as partners of your kingdom?” Iseldir asked. 

Arthur startled. Merlin swallowed nervously as he waited for Arthur and looked deep into his eyes. Arthur could swear he felt (or heard?) Merlin say _I will always be beside you supporting your decisions as King. “_ Yes,” he heard himself say and he placed his jeweled crown on Merlin's head.  
  
Merlin's face was flushed. He looked up at Arthur from under his lashes with a tiny smile.  
  
“Emrys, will you offer the crown of magic to the one who is your other half so that magic will be free to balance the world once again? 

“Yes, I will,” Merlin answered, reaching forward to place the magic crown on Arthur's head.  
  
It felt like spring, and music, and the sunshine. Arthur reached up to touch it and felt a crackle across his fingertip. He looked at his fingers, they were glowing faintly. Merlin was beaming at him. 

“And now the blood ritual,” Iseldir announced, picking up he knives. “I will make a cut on each of your palms.” The druid held Merlin's hand and cut down the middle. He did the same to Arthur's. Blood welled in his palm, so Arthur held his hand out so that it did not soil his white tunic.  
  
“Clasp hands my lords.” They joined their palms together. Arthur gasped as his hand connected with Merlin's. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked. 

Arthur took a moment to respond, realizing what had happened. “I'm fine. It's the magic.” His palm felt hot, but it was not burning. It felt more like a smoldering prickle.

“Please remove your robes,” Iseldir instructed. A druid woman stepped up to take them. Then he handed each of them their knives and asked them to make a small cut above the heart of the other. Arthur reached over and and made his cut. Merlin followed, although he seemed a bit hesitant to cut Arthur.  
  
“Embrace each other, so your cuts can bind,” the druid leader said. Arthur pulled Merlin to him into a hug, making sure the two cuts touched. Merlin was stiff and unyielding at first, then relaxed into his embrace.  
  
Iseldir said, “Merlin, please initiate the spell,” holding the parchment so Merlin could read the words.  
  
Merlin began speaking in the tongue of the Old Religion, but Arthur clearly understood. 

“Bond two with this blood. The essence and power that flows through my veins, now flows through your veins. The bravery and steadfastness that flows through your veins, now flows through mine. Our hearts beat together, always, forever.” 

Their clasped hands grew hotter, the cut on his chest was pulsing and Arthur reveled in the feeling. He closed his eyes and sank into it. There was a rightness and a feeling of being complete. When he opened his eyes he saw streaks of gold and silver twining around their hands and torsos.  
  
“The bond,” Merlin whispered in awe. Arthur's heartbeat quickened as he gazed from Merlin's beautiful face to the evidence of the bond twisting around him.  
  
“It's the first part weaving together,” Merlin explained.  
  
Arthur was speechless as he and Merlin walked back to their lodge with a trail of druids wishing them well as they went.  
  
Inside, there was more wine and food and lit candles. It truly was magical.

“What now?” Arthur asked as he flopped onto one of the pallets. He felt extremely tired.  
  
“I guess that's all for tonight,” Merlin said removing his crown (Arthur's) and reaching to take the magic crown from Arthur.  
  
“No, wait,” Arthur held onto it. “I...like it.” Merlin folded his arms and sat on the opposite pallet staring at him.  
  
“You're enjoying the magic.” 

“Gods, yes. It's intoxicating. How do you live like this?” Arthur asked. 

Merlin chuckled. “It's not always this intense. But, there is a depth to nature and...” he trailed off looking slightly shy. Arthur raised a brow for him to continue. “You have your own magical signature, Arthur. It's gold and bright and shiny...” 

“Sounds like a child's toy.” 

“No... it's very potent; strong. Oh, I'm not saying it correctly. It's hard to put into words.” 

Arthur, did then remove the crown from his head, blew out the candles and set it on the table beside his pallet, looking closer at the intricate design. 

Merlin got up, walked over and knelt beside where Arthur was sitting. “It's a crown of magic and the four elements. There are symbols of fire - the candles and angelica. The shells are for water, the crystals for earth, and the feathers for air. I think these are merlin feathers,” he said looking closer at the crown. 

“Why not?,” Arthur said laying back on his pallet. “Is this real? It feels slightly like a dream.” 

“It's as real as it gets. You must be tired from the magic. It can drain you, and you're not used to it.”  

Arthur closed his eyes and listened as Merlin shuffled around the lodge, preparing for bed, putting out the many candles. Although Arthur's eyes were closed, somehow, he could feel everything Merlin did even though he was across the room. 

When Merlin was settled on his pallet, Arthur said, “I crowned you my other half to rule beside me.” He felt Merlin stiffen (he was definitely enjoying the affects from the potion) and a rush of anxiety filled the room. “It felt...right.” 

“I didn't know about that part, honest.” 

“I know. It was surreal, you standing there with my crown...I realized then, the enormity of what we're doing.” 

Merlin gave an audible swallow. “We can still back out. The remaining part is what seals the bond,” he said. 

Arthur leaned up on his elbow and looked at Merlin, who mirrored him, and asked, “Are you having second thoughts?”

“What? No. I thought maybe you were.” 

“No, I'm not,” Arthur said. “Let's go to sleep. Will this potion wear off in the morning?” 

“Probably. You'll get another vial for tomorrow night.” 

“Good, I don't want to miss anything with _that_ part of the bond,” Arthur said and he heard a small hitch in Merlin's breath.  
  


The glittery morning sun streaming in the window woke Arthur. Twisting around on the rough mattress piled with furs, his memory of the ritual surfaced. He glanced across the small room to see a mop of black hair poking out of the blankets on the other pallet.

He rose, padded to the window and looked out. Druids were gathered around the ribboned oak trees, talking, laughing and eating. Glancing at his hand where the cut was somewhat healed, he could still feel the heat from where he'd clasped Merlin's hand the previous night.  
  
Merlin stirred and turned over, almost falling off the pallet. “Morning,” he snuffled through the covers. 

“There seems to be more druids this morning,” Arthur indicated the window.  
  
“What's that on your chest?” Merlin asked sitting up, rubbing his hands over his eyes.  
  
Arthur looked down expecting to see the small cut. Instead, there was a picture. He walked over, sat beside Merlin, and pulled the covers down to expose Merlin's chest.  
  
“It must be from the blood bond,” Merlin said peering at the small mark above Arthur's heart.  
  
“You have a crown and sword,” Arthur said.

“Yours is a dragon entwined in a pentacle. It's the symbol for magic,” Merlin explained leaning in close to Arthur's chest.” 

“I didn't know we would be...marked,” Arthur said.  
  
Merlin looked up at him and sighed. “This could be one of many effects from this bond. The druids weren't sure how it would actually manifest.” 

Arthur reached out to touch Merlin's symbol. He gently traced the sword that sliced through the jeweled crown. Merlin gasped. “Are you alright?” Arthur asked, quickly pulling his hand away.

“Yes...fine. It's a bit sensitive,” Merlin said quickly and pulled on his tunic. His face was flushed. 

After some druid ladies brought them a breakfast of fruits and bread with honey, Iseldir arrived, his arms full of packages. Merlin ushered him in and helped him with the items. “What's all this?” Merlin asked, placing the boxes and baskets on the pallets.  
  
“They are gifts, Merlin. I never imagined word would spread so quickly,” Iseldir said looking out the window.

“What has spread?” Arthur joined the druid at the window. There was a very large crowd gathered. Musicians played and children were dancing around the trees. “Who are those people?” 

“Word has spread throughout the realm, Your Majesty. It seems everyone with magic is coming to honor the unity.” 

Arthur's eyes must have gone wide, for Iseldir smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “These are historic times, King Arthur. Never before has there been such an event. And magic has long been outlawed, the people see this as the beginning of a new era. Emrys has finally come and set-them free,” he said smiling at Merlin.

 “That's ridiculous, I've done no such thing,” Merlin replied, scowling.  
  
“Really? Would we be here now if not for you?” Iseldir asked. He walked to the door and paused. “You have a special guest who would like to meet with you at the midday feast. He said he was an old friend, Alator.”  
  
“Alator here? Amazing!” Merlin said leaving the pile of packages and jumping up like an excited child.

The druid said he would meet with them later before the ritual to go over a few things.  
  
“This seems to be bigger than we thought,” Merlin spoke as he gazed outside their lodge.  
  
“Yes, well...”Arthur started. “I suppose it's only once in a lifetime when the King of Magic shows up to rule beside the Once and Future King of Camelot.”  
  
“Arthur,” Merlin began. “Are you sure you're alright with all this?”  
  
“Isn't it too late if I'm not? But, yes, actually, after last night and feeling the magic...I see it now.” Merlin tilted his head and gave him a small smile.

 

They dressed for the afternoon feast and went to greet their guests. Merlin was practically bouncing as they walked to the table. “Alator saved my life, Arthur. And Gaius's, too. I want to introduce you. He's an amazing ally to have.”  
  
Merlin walked up to a tattooed man in purple robes and they embraced. Arthur wondered at all the people who had helped Merlin over the years. Helped him as he saved Arthur's life and moved them closer to this era of peace. 

“I told you when the time of Albion was upon us, I would be here,” Alator said strongly in a foreign accent. 

“King Arthur, allow me to introduce Alator of the Catha,” Merlin said.  
  
“Greetings, Alator. Merlin told me how you stood up to Morgana, saving him and not revealing Merlin's true identity.”

They talked awhile and feasted. As more people arrived in the grove, exotic foods and drink from every corner of the five kingdoms ended up on their table. Everyone benefitted from the festivities.

Midday faded into late afternoon and it was time to meet with Iseldir. They were led back to their lodge where the druid was waiting for them.  
  
“Your Majesty. Merlin.” Iseldir stood up as they entered and slightly bowed his head. Arthur sat down at the table and Merlin followed. 

“Everything is in order for the ritual this evening,” Iseldir continued. “You will feast first, then there will be a short ceremony at the grove. After, you will be consecrated, as before and brought back here to initiate the ritual in private.”  
  
Arthur breathed relief that they weren't expecting a public bonding.  
  
“Your Majesty, here is your draught to see the magic,” he said, handing Arthur a small phial. “I have two short spells for you, Merlin. This is for the joining, the physical part of the bond,” Iseldir pointed to the parchment on the table. “And the second part is for the soul bond.” 

Merlin leaned in and read through the spells, frowning. “This isn't...much.”  
  
“Yes, it was all we could find. We feel your magic will know what to do when the time comes. You are Emrys, after all.” The druid smiled. 

When they were alone, Arthur sat down on his pallet sifting through some of the gifts they had received. There were knives, jewelry, spices and small wooden carvings. He held one up, examining it and heard Merlin mutter something undistinguishable. 

“Why does this look familiar, Merlin?” 

“From the memories,” Merlin answered, sitting beside Arthur and reaching for the tiny dragon figure. “My father carved one for me when you were healing.” He turned it in his fingers with a faraway look in his eyes.  
  
“I'm glad you had some time with him at the crystal cave,” Arthur said. “It must have been hard, finding him only to lose him.”  
  
Merlin stayed silent for a moment, staring thoughtfully into space, the he said, “It would have been nice to know him; to learn from him. But, he passed his knowledge to me when I entered the cave and came into my power. I hope I will do him proud.” 

Arthur reached over and gently put his hand on Merlin's knee. “He couldn't be anything but proud.” 

“Arthur, about tonight...”  
  
Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Not backing out are you?” 

Merlin flushed and dipped his head. “No, I just wondered...if you...” 

“Yes?” 

“I mean... have you ever done that? With a man?” 

Arthur leaned back on his elbows. “It has been awhile, but...yes. At least. Mostly.” Merlin looked skeptical, but didn't question. “How about you, Merlin?”  
  
Merlin flushed again and snorted. “I have. But, it has been a very long while, I'm afraid.” 

Arthur hadn't thought about Merlin with another man, or women, before. It was strange. He spent so much time with him, Arthur had never imagined Merlin with someone intimately. Which of course was silly. Merlin was a grown man who certainly had needs and desires. 

“Is this going to be odd? Between us, I mean? Merlin asked, softly. 

Arthur studied Merlin. He honestly wasn't sure what was going to happen _after_ the joining. Merlin's blue eyes were full of emotion. 

“It is foretold,” Arthur said, still staring. “I don't think it's meant to make us uncomfortable.” 

“Well, I guess it's time to fulfill our destiny,” Merlin said matter-of-factly, standing to dress for the ceremony. Arthur drank the potion and wondered how this night would change things between them.

  
After yet another large meal and many rounds of mead, they all gathered under the oaks. This time Merlin and Arthur were in the center of the circle of people who fanned out throughout the grove. There were no crowns or jewels tonight. Just their white robes reflected in the rich, light of the full moon. The mark on Arthur's chest tingled as he stood beside Merlin.  
  
Iseldir was robed in dark blue and he carried several candles. He set them, one by one, into holders, lighting each and placing them in a circle. He called to the powers of the goddess, speaking in the old tongue. It was a blessing on the land, the sea, the trees, and honoring the goddess and gods. 

“Let magic and crown rule as one, favoring all in the kingdom. Freeing magic and all who wield it as never before. Emrys and the Once and Future King bond themselves together and to the land of Albion so we may be blessed and live in peace.” 

Again, Arthur was led to the hot spring where druids silently sponged him with wonderful smelling oils rich with spices. In just a few moments he would be back at the lodge alone with Merlin. Where he was expected to join with him. 

He heart was pounding in his chest, both with excitement and unease when he opened the door and entered the lodge. The two pallets had been pushed together into one large bed, covered with furs. There were colorful flower petals scattered, delicately over the furs and around the floor, which gave off a lovely smell as he walked on them.  
  
The moonlight streamed in the small window, but ultimately the lodge was lit by dozens of beeswax candles, giving off their own honey scent. On the wooden table was wine, fruit and several glass jars. He picked one up and blushed, as he realized what those salves were to be used for. 

“Arthur.” Merlin entered the lodge. Arthur could see the faint silver aura around this man who was his other half and remembered the magic potion at work. 

After an awkward moment of silence, Merlin moved straight to the table and poured some wine. He handed a cup to Arthur. They drank and refilled their cups without speaking. Merlin eyed the bed, and said, “Should we...”

Arthur walked to the pallet and sat on the edge. “I won't bite, Merlin. Not yet.” He winked to lighten the mood. Merlin smiled.  
  
“Let's just talk awhile. Come sit down.” Merlin shifted nervously, but sat beside him.  
  
“Ok, what shall we talk about?” 

Arthur downed the cup of wine. “It's a bit odd with all them,” he nodded toward the lodge door, “knowing what we're about to get up to.” 

Merlin sputtered in his wine and looked at him wide-eyed.

“Can you... make it more … private?” Arthur asked. Merlin frowned. “Is there a spell of silence...?” he clarified.  
  
This time Merlin turned as red as Arthur's cloak. “You want me to conceal the lodge?”  
  
Arthur waited and then Merlin's eyes changed into two dazzling gold circles as he whispered a few words. “It's done.” 

Arthur felt the buzz of magic around the room and he relaxed into it. “Can you blow out some of the candles?” 

Merlin stood to do as the king asked, but Arthur caught Merlin's arm and held him on the bed. “Not like that,” he said. 

Merlin looked skeptical for a moment, then he whispered a single word. His eyes glowed again and half the candles in the room were extinguished. Only a few candles close to the pallet remained lit. Merlin gazing at Arthur, a tiny smile beginning to form. “You like my magic.” 

Arthur's heart skipped. Yes. He liked it. He liked the way Merlin looked when he did it and it was causing some heat to prickle in his lower body. 

“Show me something else.” 

Merlin thought for a moment, then grinned and wiggled his fingers. Arthur startled as two tiny figures on horseback appeared from the candle flames. He recognized this. This was the scene Merlin had showed him when he had revealed his magic. 

He watched the figures chase the deer round Merlin's head where the miniature version of Arthur raisedhis bow and shot the fiery animal. Suddenly from the other side, a scaly dragon swooped in breathing fire onto the figures. The flame-figure of Merlin stopped his horse and raised his hand, defending them from the dragonfire. The dragon bowed, then flew off and disappeared. 

The gold magic of Merlin's eyes was mesmerizing. It remained as he continued to play with the flames. “You're supposed to be watching the scene.” Merlin bumped Arthur's shoulder. “Not me.”

Arthur leaned in close to Merlin's face and said, “You're much more interesting.”  
  
Merlin ended his magic scene and looked down, his cheeks flushed, fingers nervously smoothing down his tunic. 

Arthur tilted his head, gazing at the man beside him. “You're different, Merlin.” The mage turned his head to look at Arthur, his expression quite puzzled. “I didn't really see it until the ceremony. But, you are.”

“I'm just me.”  
  
Arthur shook his head. “You stand taller, speak firmer. There is a self-assuredness that I've rarely seen,” Arthur said. “A few times that wisdom would show up when there was a serious situation or I was in grave danger. It makes sense to me now. That was who you were _supposed_ to be all along.” Merlin frowned but didn't speak. 

“All the time you've been protecting me from the shadows, you were unable to fulfill your own destiny.” 

“My destiny _is_ to protect you, Arthur.”

Arthur waved his hand around. “Yes, yes, but you were supposed to be...Emrys.”

Merlin's face softened into a small smile. “I guess so, yes.”  
  
Arthur reached out and gently caressed Merlin's cheek. “I'm glad I finally know who you truly are.” 

Merlin's face contorted and Arthur pulled back, afraid he had done something wrong. “Merlin?”

His eyes filled as he looked back at Arthur. Arthur slide his hand across Merlin's back, rubbing. “What is it?”  
  
A tear slid down Merlin's cheek and Arthur couldn't stop himself from brushing it away. “I...” Merlin choked out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You have no idea how long I have wished for you to know me.” 

It seemed as natural as breathing for Arthur to lean over and touch his lips to Merlin's temple. He felt Merlin's body lean in toward him as he took a deep breath. Arthur bestowed another kiss, this one on his closed eye, then Merlin's cheek. He tasted the salt from the tears and kissed it away. 

Merlin's eyes were still shut and his fingers were opening and closing in his lap as Arthur continued his affections. When he slowly touched his lips to the corner of Merlin's mouth, he heard him gasp. “Arthur”.

Merlin grabbed Arthur's head and pressed his mouth to his own. Arthur moaned in response, causing Merlin to press in harder. Arthur twined his arm around Merlin's shoulders, turning Merlin to face him completely. 

Arthur had never kissed this way in his life. In his experience, kissing was more a chaste affection or a quick nicety before the real fun would begin. This, with Merlin, was like falling and never wanting to land.  
  
Merlin swept his tongue across Arthur's lips and he hissed. “Merlin...” Arthur breathed the name like a promise.

Arthur shifted onto his knees, while still managing to awkwardly connect with Merlin's mouth. He repositioned himself so he could gently lower Merlin onto the pallet under him, lips never parting.  
  
After a few minutes of kissing, Arthur pulled back, feeling a slight crackle. He slid is hands softly over Merlin's shoulder, down his arm, where he could feel a pressure he recognized now as magic. The slower and more focused he dragged his fingers across the white skin, the more intense the magic. It was intoxicating.  
  
“Merlin, the magic,” he whispered, mouthing where he stroked. The vibes increased to a tangible level. Merlin closed his eyes and breathed deeply.  
  
“It's crazy enough to have you kissing me,” Merlin stated. “But, my magic wants to play, too. I can't tell you how this feels.” He smiled, eyes still shut.  
  
“I feel it, believe me.” Arthur drifted down and touched his lips to Merlin's chest, the bond mark, then stomach. He stopped and looked up at Merlin. “Does it always feel like this? When you...” 

Merlin's eyes fluttered open and he frowned. He stretched his hand out and entwined it with Arthur's. “No. Never, ever like this. Only with you.”   
  
“Good.” No one else should ever touch this amazing man except him. He would think about making sure Merlin was _only_ his later, when his lips weren't tasting the milky softness that was Merlin's skin.  
  
Gods, feeling Merlin writhing under him, rubbing against his body everywhere quickly increased his need to have this man. Arthur pressed down, rolling his hips, circling their groins together. 

Merlin keened and then, “Arthur, wait. The bond...” 

Arthur stopped what he was doing and glared down at him. “I thought this is what we were supposed to be up to? Joining?” he pressed down against Merlin's hardness. “I'm definitely ready for the joining.” 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, breathily. “There's a spell...I need to...” Arthur recalled Iseldir saying something about a spell for Merlin to incant during this part of the ritual. On the small table he eyed the parchment. He growled and lifted himself up off Merlin.  
  
“Is this is?” Arthur grabbed it and returned to the pallet, as Merlin propped up on his elbows. “Are you supposed to say it now?” 

Merlin took the scroll and read it. “I'm not really sure. Iseldir said there wasn't much he could find about the actual spells. He said my magic would know what to do- mmphffff-”  
  
Arthur pushed Merlin down and crawled up his body until their lips almost touched. “Then I guess we can continue and you'll figure it out, won't you _Mer_ lin.” He didn't wait for an answer, but took up where he had left off.  
  
“I want to touch you,” Arthur said, sliding his hand down between Merlin's thighs. He swallowed the gasp that escaped Merlin's mouth with another fiery kiss. Merlin's tunic was easy to push up and off, which revealed simple laced trousers beneath. Arthur wrapped his fingers around the laces, feeling what was below the laces. Merlin moaned. 

Arthur looked deep into Merlin's blue eyes, full of emotion and couldn't look away. It felt so right to be touching and kissing him. His fingers fumbled with the laces and his hand snaked inside to grip Merlin's length. The candle flames flicked higher and Merlin smiled sheepishly.  
  
Arthur had a feeling this was going to be amazing. The room was already sizzling with the feel of magic and with each touch of skin it seemed to increase.  
  
After several minutes of stroking Merlin through the fabric, he kneeled, straddling his former manservant to gain better position. He pulled Merlin's trousers down and off, then his boots, and gazed at the glorious naked man in front of him. He had never thought much about a man's body as a turn on, but, Merlin broke all his rules.  
  
Merlin whined and reached up from his place on the pallet, caressing Arthur's arm. Arthur eyed the salve on the table and grabbed one of the glass jars, laying it beside him. He raised his brows in questions to the man below him, and heard, “Gods, yes, Arthur.”  
  
While Arthur dipped his fingers into the herb scented balm, coating them thoroughly, Merlin reached out so he could rub Arthur through his trousers. Arthur lightly fondled Merlin's thighs and balls, enjoying the gasps and breathy whimpers from the man beneath him.  
  
“Mmmnn... Arthur.” Merlin pressed harder down onto Arthur's cock and Arthur desperately wished he, too was unclothed.  
  
He enclosed his fingers around Merlin and pumped a few times, causing a loud, yet unintelligible sound from Merlin's throat. Arthur caressed across Merlin's bond mark and was rewarded with a throaty whine. With his other hand, Arthur circled a finger around Merlin's cleft and gently pushed in.  
  
The fire in the small hearth flared and Arthur made to pull out, but Merlin caught his wrist and held him firm. “It's fine Arthur, please don't stop,” Merlin whispered.

He continued preparing Merlin first one finger, then two, the entire time aware of Merlin's magic flickering around him and the room. When he couldn't stand it any longer, he rocked back on his heels and with his free hand he pulled open his own laces to free his cock. He shoved his trousers down the best he could as he continued fingering in and out of Merlin.  
  
Merlin leaned up on his elbows so he could take hold of Arthur's hardness and pump. “Gods, Arthur, I want you to take me now.”  
  
Arthur dribbled some salve onto Merlin's hand and watched him strip his cock up and down so slowly it was maddening. “Are you ready?”  
  
“Yes, please,” Merlin whimpered and opened his legs further. That was all Arthur needed. He pulled his fingers out, lined his cock up to Merlin's entrance and pushed his swollen tip inside.  
  
He was immediately engulfed in heat. _I am inside Merlin_. _And it feels amazing._ He began a slow, warm slide back and forth as he stared down at Merlin laying on the pallet. Merlin gazed back, eyes full of lust and love. The pleasure being inside Merlin was equaled by the sensuality of Merlin's magic surrounding him and embracing him on the outside. Arthur recognized the silver magic and watched as it danced like butterflies on flowers, weaving around his gold aura. 

Merlin pulled his knees back and Arthur sunk deeper into him until he was fully seated. “Merlin, gods, you feel so...I'm not going to last long like this.” Arthur pulled back and thrust all the way in again and again, savoring each marvelous movement. It was like nothing he had ever felt before.  
  
He noticed Merlin's full cock laying on his stomach and balanced on one arm so he could wrap his fist around it. Merlin began babbling softly and it was hard to understand what he was saying, but he caught a few words like _good_ , and _ohmygods,_ and _forever.  
  
_ The pace was building and Arthur was thrusting in earnest. He was getting close though, and began to slow down in order to make it last. It was too intense and Arthur knew if he went on as such it would be over too quickly.  
  
“Arthur... the spell.” He heard Merlin say and remembered the reason for the joining. There was a rustling sound and Merlin held the parchment with the spell in his hands. “Arthur, you say, ' _my seed I share that we become one.”_  
  
Arthur repeated the words, still leisurely sliding deeply in and out of Merlin.  
  
“ _I welcome the joining which shan't be undone_.” Merlin's voice stuttered when Arthur's cock hit a particularly good spot deep inside. “Arthur... mmmm.. Arthur, you say ' _to you, I give all that I am_.”  
  
He leaned closer in to Merlin's body, laying on top of his sweaty chest. “Merlin,” he said and Merlin's eyes snapped to meet his. “ _To you, I give all that I am_ ,” he said as slowly and deliberately as his thrusting. Merlin's eyes lit up and he smiled that sweet smile reserved only for Arthur.  
  
_“Heart in heart, hand in hand_ ,” Merlin finished, closing his eyes as his magic whipped around Arthur, encircling them both on the pallet. Arthur's driving thrusts quickened with the pace of the magic.  
  
Below Arthur, Merlin linked his fingers with Arthur’s and dragged his own cock to completion which in turn sent Arthur over the edge. He pumped once, twice and once more, and what felt like his essence bubbled out of him and into Merlin. 

He heard a loud gasp.  
  
“Merlin? Should I...?” He started to pull back but Merlin pushed his hips up and stopped the motion. Arthur moved all the way back inside. 

“Leave it. Let it take root.” 

That's exactly what it felt like. As if Arthur had truly exuded seed that was lodging inside of the other man. And the magic ran through his body and back into Merlin's like a circle. Exquisite.  

Eventually Arthur's arm gave out and he collapsed onto Merlin fully. He wasn't sure how long they laid there, but he never wanted to move or get up.  


Sometime later, Merlin rose from the pallet, wrapped his white robe around him and fastened the waist tie. He walked to the small table that was laden with fruits and cheese. Popping a grape in his mouth, he poured some wine for them both. He returned to the pallet and handed the goblet to Arthur  
  
Arthur studied his face. Merlin's normal over-emotional-easy-to-read look – wasn't. He looked oddly stoic. “Something wrong?”  
  
The look faded from Merlin's face and was replaced with a genuine smile. “Not at all.” He sat down beside Arthur on the pallet, sipping the wine.  
  
Arthur watched Merlin as he drank and nibbled the fruit. This was the man he had just united with through sex magic. And if Arthur was being truthful, with love. Arthur had experienced quite a few partners in the past - before and including Gwen. It wasn't just that the act itself was amazing, but the intensity of his emotions and the magic heightened everything. His emotions... yes. Those feelings he had worked so hard to school away over the years were now probably blazing bright from his face like a love-struck girl. 

Did he love Merlin? Probably. He sighed. Of course he did. And after their love making he wanted more. Currently, he was restraining his hands from reaching over and dragging his fingers through that black hair and pulling his mouth in for a kiss.  
  
“Arthur?” Merlin's voice jolted him back. “We can still stop this... if you don't... your not ready. The bond isn't formed completely yet.” Merlin' voice sounded practical but his face had returned to the strained, stoic expression from a moment ago. 

Arthur reached over and gently touched Merlin's cheek causing the man's eyes to close and his chest to heave a deep breath. “I _am_ ready. Gods, Merlin we just...” he made a flapping hand gesture. “There is nothing that would stop me from completing the bond. Unless you didn't want it.” 

“I do.” 

“Then, let's not waste our time with anymore of that. Show me some more magic.”

The beam from Merlin's face was bright as the sun. He demonstrated how one can pour wine without using hands and he replenished the fruit plate somehow, even adding strawberries, which weren't there to begin with. “If we were back at the Citadel, I would show you how my sword skills could be improved with magic.”  
  
“You still couldn't beat me,” Arthur laughed. 

“I don't know. My magic is pretty clever.” 

“Too bad you aren't,” Arthur barely uttered the words before a pillow collided with his head and knocked him down onto the pallet. “Hey!” Merlin followed, flopping down on top of Arthur. 

“So, you want to test out my sword, Sire?” Merlin said in a sultry voice. Arthur stared up at him from underneath his warm body. He realized that yes, yes, he did. 

And soon enough he would, as they moved into the bonding part of the ritual. Arthur had never let another man take him. But, he wasn't nervous. He trusted the warlock currently pressing him into the bed, completely.  
  
One swiftly skilled move and Arthur flipped them over so he was atop of Merlin. “I suppose I do,” he answered the previously asked question and lowered his lips to Merlin's. 

Before they got too far into things, Arthur remembered the second parchment. He pulled his head back, eyes closed, savoring the taste of Merlin on his tongue. “Do you need the spell?”

Merlin opened his eyes and shook his head, as if clearing his mind. “Spell? oh... yes, the bonding spell.” 

Arthur lifted off Merlin's chest, so Merlin could grasp the rolled parchment on the wooden table. He untied the thin red ribbon, unrolled it and looked it over. “Everything alright?” Arthur asked, noticing Merlin's scrunched up face.  
  
“I guess so? It's just... this doesn't give much instruction,” Merlin explained and held the sheet out for Arthur to read. 

There was a short set of words and a note from Iseldir.  _This was all we could find, Emrys. Your magic will know how to complete the bond._  

“I trust you'll figure it out.”  
  
“I'll make sure the fire is stoked,” Merlin said, as he stood up and walked to the hearth. He rearranged the logs and stirred it until it was blazing and warm. Then he poured more wine, adjusted the candles, played with the parchment and fiddled with the jars of salve.  
  
“I know stalling when I see it.”  

Merlin stopped his fidgeting and glanced over to Arthur. He hesitated for a moment then said, “I'm not stalling. Just want everything to be ready.” 

Arthur lifted his eyebrows. “And is it?” 

“Um, yes.” 

“Are you?” Arthur asked, reaching to the table for his goblet.  
  
“Yes? I mean, this is such a rare bond and there isn't much here to go on,” Merlin indicated the parchment. “I don't want to mess it up.”  
  
“Not possible. You're Emrys. And we're destined, remember?” Arthur put the goblet down, grabbed his robe and tied it as he walked over to Merlin. “We'll make our own history here, tonight,” he said, as he slid his hand behind Merlin's neck. He pulled gently and then Merlin's chest bumped his, bond marks touching. He laid his forehead against the other man's as they had done in just a few weeks earlier in Ealdor.  

They stood there kissing, slow and easily, at first. Arthur sensed the magic simmering tenderly between them. He fancied the feeling that was part of Merlin and it felt like home. There was no rush and he wanted to delight in all the sensations. The incredible magic, Merlin's warm body pressed against him, the sensual tongue twining with his own, and the growing heat between his thighs. 

Arthur steered them purposefully toward the pallet. With not much effort, he pulled them down to a laying position. Merlin's eyes reflected more love and passion than seemed possible. “Merlin,” he whispered close to his lover's ear and then nibbled it which incited a shiver and moan from said ear's owner. 

Merlin brushed his hands over Arthur's skin delicately, leaving visible trails of silver magic. He closed his eyes to the stroking of Merlin's fingers across his arms and chest. Arthur loved the potion that allowed him to see and feel _everything_ more intensely. 

Merlin glided lower and open Arthur's robe, exposing his entire torso and groin. “Arthur, you're so amazingly beautiful.” Arthur lifted his head to focus on Merlin sliding his hands between Arthur's legs and across his hard cock. He shivered with the pleasure of the contact and the watching.

Merlin wrapped his hand around Arthur and his head fell back onto the pillow. “I want to taste you, Arthur,” was followed by a hot, wet sensation over the head of his hardness. 

Arthur keened and lifted back up to witness this event. Merlin continued licking and sucking until Arthur was breathing so heavy, Merlin looked up in concern and then smiled, evidently pleased with what he saw.  
  
He felt something cool circle around his entrance and without warning, Merlin pressed his finger gently inside. Arthur clenched and began to object, but then he felt something else soothing, yet stimulating. 

“Shhh... it's alright. My magic will help,” Merlin said as he shrugged off his robe.  
  
And it did. Within seconds Arthur squirmed, wanting more and Merlin obliged with another finger. The feeling was foreign but delicious. He wanted Merlin and not just his fingers. “Please, Merlin.”  
  
“If you're ready...” Merlin removed his fingers and Arthur heard him grappling with the jar. He pushed Arthur's thighs back and crawled over him until he was in position to breech his opening. 

Arthur nodded his head and grasped Merlin's forearms urging him on. It felt like liquid fire sliding inside him and Arthur melted from the bliss.  
  
Merlin paused and looked down at him. “Keep going, Merlin, gods it feels ...don't stop.” Merlin slid so slowly in and then dragged back, teasing and pulsing inside Arthur. It was exquisite.  
  
Merlin smiled at him, sweat pooling on his brow and chest. He leaned down to take Arthur's mouth, keeping an incredibly drowsy pace. After a few minutes, he pulled back looking into Arthur's eyes as he made love to him and then laid his head on Arthur's chest. “Arthur..,” he breathed the name like a prayer. “ _As your heart beats, my heart beats_.”  
  
Arthur recognized the words from the scroll and so repeated, “ _As your heart beats, my heart beats_.”  
  
_“As you love, I love._ ”  
  
_“As you love, I love.”_  

“ _As you live, I live.”_  

“ _As you live, I live.”_  
  
Arthur could see and feel the magic weaving them together. Silver and gold threads sailed around the pallet, between them, through them, adding to the electric sensation he was already feeling from Merlin's cock thrusting inside him and being swallowed inside Merlin's love.  
  


 

“ _As your heart beats, my heart beats_ ,” Merlin repeated and Arthur did as well. They chanted the words over and over, as the pace of their lovemaking increased. Their eyes fixed on each other, they spelled the their soul bond to completion. 

Soon Arthur could see nothing but Merlin, backlit with blurred silver and gold magic. Though Merlin was inside him, he heard Merlin's heart beating. He felt Merlin's feelings. He heard Merlin's thoughts.  
  
As they continued reciting the phrase, the magic escalated. Silver and gold congealed into a solid bright light encasing them; blinding him from seeing anything but Merlin.  
  
He knew Merlin was still thrusting inside him, but that became the background to the love that was seeping into him inside the light. His body felt weightless, his mind full of the man who was his destiny.  
  
As they floated, memories flitted through his mind, or was it Merlin's? The two of them meeting in the lower town, their years of adventures, helping each other, saving each other. Their entire lives flickered in quick succession as Arthur experienced every emotion, every word, every thought.  
  
Merlin grasped Arthur's fingers and entwined them. _I love you._ Arthur heard, though he knew Merlin had not spoken. 

He realized they were still speaking the spell though he couldn't hear the words, as the magic spun them and knitted every inch of them together inside and out. 

Faster the world spiraled until there was nothing but light, love and Merlin. Always Merlin.  
_Always, Arthur._  


“ _Behwirfan ond bændan_ _pas sawols on widan feore_ ,” Merlin called out, breathlessly and Arthur experienced a burning and enveloping sensation throughout. “Arthur, Arthur..,” Merlin declared as his momentum halted. He threw back his head in completion.  
  
Arthur's orgasm followed, with no direct touch except the unimaginable love from his other half.  
  
An immense golden light flashed, blinding him and then something exploded and they drifted, as one, through another realm of consciousness. There was no body or mind, only oneness and completeness. Merlin.  
 

When he woke he could tell it was still early by the dusty light barely filtering in through the curtains. He lay still, not wanting to disturb the man he was currently wrapped around. Grateful for a few moments to himself, he replayed the previous night's events.  
  
It was nothing like he had imagined and so much more. Being intimate with Merlin was, in itself, life-changing. How could he ever again deny himself the touch of his skin, the frenzied kisses and the experience of being inside him. Arthur's body immediately reacted to the reminiscent pleasure. He shifted slightly, leaning toward Merlin's neck, inhaling his scent. The bonding had been beyond belief, even if much of it he couldn't recall.  
  
He did, of course, remember Merlin sliding in and out of him slowly and the spell they had chanted while gazing at other. Arthur closed his eyes and tried to summon the closeness. His heart beat faster as he imagined the two of them intertwined in passion. Passion unmatched by any other experience. It was like all of his emotions, heart and love had tumbled out of him, yet instead of feeling empty, he felt complete.  

That was the part of the bonding he remembered most. An inexplicable journey of love, joy and completeness and at the end was Merlin. He could never give this up. He wouldn't.  
  
Arthur held Merlin tighter and dozed off.  
  
“Arthur,” Merlin said in a gravely voice. He cleared his throat and Arthur loosened his released, scooting back on the pallet.  
  
“Morning,”Arthur said, sitting up against the pillows. His head felt cottony, as if he had drunk too much. He stretched a bit and reached for his robe which had been flung half off the bed. Tying the sash, he stood and started toward the window only to stumble and catch himself on a nearby chair.  
  
Merlin didn't bother with a robe, but leaped off the pallet and over to him. “What's wrong? Do you feel ill?” 

“No, not ill, but I do feel...odd,” Arthur replied. Merlin's naked body stirred Arthur's desire even though Merlin was only tying to be helpful. 

Merlin checked his forehead and slid his hand to Arthur's back. “So, nothing new there,” he said cheekily, with a half smile. Arthur smirked back at him. “It's probably an effect from the bonding. I realize now the spell was not just a bonding but an exchange.”  
  
“What do you mean exchange?”  
  
“I mean, when we bonded our souls came together,” he blushed faintly and then continued. “But, the spell my magic created was to exchange a portion of our souls. Meaning, I have a piece of your soul in me. And you have a part of my soul in you.” 

Arthur must have looked surprised because Merlin hurriedly added, “I didn't know how we were to bond. I don't think anyone did, even the druids.” 

He had a piece of Merlin inside him. Part of his soul. The thought whirled around in his head but landed joyfully in his heart. They were bonded now for this life. And all others. He smiled.  
  
Merlin returned it with a lopsided grin and what looked like relief.  
  
“Wait, does this mean I have magic, Merlin?” Arthur's heart thudded at the thought of being able to wield some of that silver magic. 

Merlin looked thoughtful for a few moments. “I...I'm not sure. Maybe?” 

Arthur walked over to the hearth where the fire was mostly ashes, though there was a faint orange glow under the last piece of split log. “Can you teach me?” He indicated the fire.  
  
Merlin sat on the pallet for a long moment,as if contemplating the situation. “Stand and face the hearth,” Merlin ordered. Arthur obeyed. “Now stretch out your hand, use your right hand, your power hand, and say _'_ Forbearnen _.'_ Think in your mind, _fire burn_.” 

Arthur glanced at his 'power' hand and pushed it toward the non-existent fire and thought, _fire burn._ “Forbearnen,” he repeated, as Merlin had spoken it. 

There was a pause and then the flame surged up and the log caught fire. Magic. “Did I...” he spun around to Merlin, who was covering his mouth and trying not to laugh, but failing.  
  
“That wasn't funny,” Arthur said before launching himself down on top of the incorrigible warlock.

He landed on Merlin's torso and immediately felt a pulsing heat from his chest. Merlin was staring down at his heart. “What is it?” He leaned his head down but stopped when his eyes landed on Merlin's bond mark. It was glowing gold.  
  
“The marks,” Merlin said leaning up and reaching out tentatively to touch Arthur. The closer Merlin's hand came, the brighter his silver mark glowed. It faded as his hand pulled back.  
  
“What does it mean?” Arthur said as he sat up.  
  
“I'm not sure, our bond is like none before. Perhaps it has something to do with the exchange. And when we get close it... knows.” 

“Your soul-piece inside me recognizes you?” Arthur asked, incredulously. “Will we keep glowing when we are near each other?” 

Merlin shrugged. “Maybe it will settle after awhile.” 

Arthur could feel the faint tug of magic pulling him toward Merlin, so he went with it. He leaned in until their chests were almost touching. “I feel it.” It was heady, and he was so close to Merlin's skin, he wanted to-  
  
Merlin stood abruptly and started fidgeting with his clothing. His face was drawn in that impassive manner and he actually began tidying up. 

“What is it?” Arthur asked. Merlin stopped and turned to look at him. “And don't pretend you are fine or that you don't know what I'm talking about.” Arthur continued sitting there with his eyebrow raised in his best Gaius fashion.

“Nothing is wrong,” Merlin said, hands up in defense. “I...just...I'm not sure what happens now.” He sat back down on the pallet beside Arthur. A surge of magic ignited his mark at the proximity of his soul mate. Arthur sighed. How he wanted to reach out and pull this man to him. To be one again.  
  
But until then, Arthur waited, knowing Merlin would spill the rest. 

“I mean, what we did last night was for the bond. I don't want to presume...”  
  
“Ah,” Arthur said as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees and folded his hands under his chin.

“Yes, we did complete the ritual for the bond, but I was hoping for more. That is, if you want to.” 

Merlin's mouth twisted down and he said, “We must return to Camelot where you are the king and you have a queen. And a country to rule-” 

“A country which I pledged to you not two nights ago.” Merlin's eyes went wide. “We can't sweep this under the rug, Merlin. There will be no more hiding.” Arthur rose and walked to the window, pulling the curtain back.  
  
There were druids everywhere, even more than before.  
  
“All these magical people, _your_ people know what we have done. They understand the prophecy. They know who _you_ are, Emrys. And now I do as well. And I will never _not_ know. And Camelot will know who you are and what you mean to me,” Arthur finished rather emphatically. 

Merlin's eyes grew wider and Arthur actually was a bit surprised at what he had said. Even if it was true. And it was. “I want this, us. I need to feel what I felt last night again.” 

“But, how?” 

“I don't know. I'm the king. We'll figure it out. You mean everything to me.” Arthur turned away wondering why he was blabbering like a love-struck girl.  
  
“That's the most emotion I've ever heard from you, Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin joined Arthur by the window. He put his hand on Arthur's shoulder. “I think you are having a Merlin moment.”  
  
Arthur frowned. He did feel quite shaky and emotional. 

“It's the bond. You have a piece of my magic and also a piece of me.” 

“That might be the scariest thing I've ever heard,” Arthur laughed. 

“Actually, I feel steadfast and grounded,” Merlin stated walking around the room regally. “No wonder you make such a great king.” 

Arthur grabbed a pillow from the bed and aimed it at Merlin who ducked before it hit the target. “Sire, still throwing things at a legendary warlock and your better half?”  
  
Arthur grabbed him around the waist and tossed him back on the pallet. He ignored the surging bond mark and the crackle of magic around him, crawled up Merlin's body and kissed him. He pulled back and looked deep into Merlin's eyes. “I want to stay here today with you. No potions, no rituals, just us.” 

They stayed inside most of the day. Partly to avoid all the druids outside. Partly to work through the effects the bond was having on them physically. But, Arthur mostly longed for a day to just be with Merlin. To kiss him when he wanted. To talk or laugh and let them be themselves. Not king and warlock. Arthur and Merlin- who were now bonded eternally.

 

“I wasn't sure if any of this was going to happen,” Merlin said as he packed up some of gifts and trinkets they had received. Arthur looked over at him curiously from his seat by the hearth. “You accepting my magic... being recognized as Emrys. For so long I hoped.”  
  
“You said you believed in me.”  
  
“I did, I do.” Merlin stepped over to Arthur's chair and crouched down in front of him. “I think I didn't believe in myself. That I would be enough. As Emrys and all that that means.” 

Arthur reached out and touched Merlin's cheek. “You are enough. For me, for Camelot, for the kingdom you've helped me build.” He leaned in for a tender kiss. “Just as you helped me become king, I'll help you step into the role Emrys. You don't have to do it alone. I'll be beside you.” 

Merlin smiled and his eyes filled. “That's all I ever wanted.”  
  
Their final dinner at the druid camp was delivered to their lodge by Iseldir and a young druid boy. The plate was filled with meat, cheese and warm bread and the edges of the platter were adorned with herbs and flowers. The boy carried a flagon of wine and fresh candles and bowed to both Arthur and Merlin before slipping away, leaving the elder behind.

“Thank you for all you've done for us, Iseldir,” Arthur said.The man nodded. “I will send word in a few weeks to invite you to the castle. I will make it known that the druids are part of our kingdom and are welcome within our walls.” 

“It is I who have been honored to have been part of such an occasion as your bond and witness the return of magic to the land. I am at your service and will help anyway I can during the transition and beyond.” Iseldir bowed to Arthur, then Merlin, his robes sweeping the ground and his head dipping low.  
  
“Thank you and everyone at the camp and those who came to attend the ritual,” Merlin said. “I hope to learn more from you in the future.” 

When Iseldir left, Merlin sat at the table to dig into the meal. “You should weigh three times your weight with as much as you eat,” Arthur said, filling his own plate.  
  
Merlin chuckled and stabbed his fork into a large piece of meat. “Better to be thin than to have the tailor let my trousers out for the winter.” The routine banter between them was something Arthur loved. It kept this fantastical relationship, real.  
  
As they ate, Arthur thought about the prophecy. According to the legend, they thwarted the downfall of Camelot with their bond. And now Merlin's magic, however faint, flowed through his veins.  
  
“You'll be happy to know I can't read your mind, but I don't have to. That serious look speaks for itself,” Merlin said, head tilted in question. 

“I was thinking of the bond and the prophecy. The enormity of what we've done and how it will affect the future of...everything.” 

“Oh,” Merlin said shaking his head. “So, hardly thinking at all.”  
  
Arthur laughed and took a sip of his wine. “Merlin, you can be at ease now, knowing I am safe.” 

Merlin's eyes flicked to his and he frowned. “It doesn't mean that other people won't try to harm you.I still must be beside you all the time to protect you.”  
  
“I'm not a helpless maiden."  

“That remains to be seen, Sire.” 

“Of course, My Lord,” Arthur retorted, smirking.  
  
Merlin choked on his mouthful of food. “Please don't call me that.” 

“You'd better get used to it. You can't go back to Camelot as my servant. We can't hide what we now share. Hell, every magic user in the land knows. It's only right that the people of Camelot know as well.” 

“What? You're planning to tell everyone we're bonded?”  
  
“Yes, or some version of it. How else can I explain why you are my partner, advisor and mage?  
You will be recognized for what you are, Merlin. My right hand, and my consort.” The sound of it as it rolled off Arthur's tongue felt right. Merlin's eyes were as wide as the plate he was eating off and it made Arthur chuckle. “You are Emrys and you will command the respect you deserve. You will be beside me as you always have been, only now, with more benefits.” He leaned over and peppered kisses down Merlin's neck, and traced a finger over his ear. 

“I could get used to that.” Merlin leaned his head back, exposing his neck further so Arthur could continue. Merlin breathed heavily and said, “But, I'm not sure how everyone else will react.”

“Everyone already loves you. The maids, other servants, the knights. It shouldn't be too difficult.” 

“Except, now I'm the most powerful sorcerer on the earth instead of the lowly, bumbling manservant.” 

Arthur stopped kissing his neck and looked at him. It was still hard to believe this man wielded the power of the universe in his clumsy hands. “Well, yes... that.” 

“What about you?” 

“What about me, what? 

“You said everyone loved me,” Merlin said, quietly. “The maids, servants, knights...”  
  
The air between them was thick with meaning. After what they had shared, the bond, the oneness. The feelings overwhelmed him and grounded him in a way only Merlin could.  
  
Pulling Merlin's head close, he kissed his forehead, his nose, jaw, lips. “Oh, Merlin,” Arthur whispered lips almost touching lips. “To tell you yes, gods yes, I love you doesn't seem to be... enough.” He meant to remind Merlin that they were soul partners, two halves of a whole. That he couldn't imagine ever living without him and every part of him was vital to Arthur's happiness. But, Merlin's passionate kiss made his brain fizzle into mush and all thoughts ceased except, _yes_ , and _Merlin_. 

 

The first day back in Camelot Arthur was busy with the knights, the council and petitioners. He had barely glimpsed Merlin since they had put the horses and the wagon in the stables that morning.  
  
Merlin gathered all the bond gifts they'd received out of the wagon, but a page was already waiting for Arthur with messages before he had time to say anything to Merlin. There was a brief moment between them and Merlin gave him a tiny smile. Arthur had carried that with him throughout the day. That and the tingling magic in his soul bond mark. 

He requested lunch with Gwen to fill her in on their trip to the druids. She knew and had accepted the bonding, but he stuck to the facts and tried not to hurt her with too much enthusiasm.  
  
“We both received bond marks,” Arthur explained pulling his red tunic aside so she could see it. This he couldn't hide. 

“So, what happens now?” Gwen asked.  
  
That is something Arthur had been grappling with. Merlin would be promoted to Royal Mage in a few days. He would no longer be his manservant, but his highest advisor. And so much more. Arthur had no idea how it would all play out, but he would never put anyone before Merlin. “I suppose we will take it day by day.” 

Later that afternoon, he assembled his loyal knights, Gaius, Merlin, and Gwen in the small chambers. “As you know, Merlin and I returned from the druid camp. We brought gifts as a sign of friendship and discussed how their people will now be welcome in Camelot. I have never had quarrels with the druids, and as whole they are a peaceful people. They welcomed us and were pleased with the new arrangement.” 

Arthur glanced at Merlin sitting beside him. His head slightly down, fingers nervously tapping the table. “What you may not know was there was another reason for our visit to their camp. In my investigation into the benefits of bringing magic back to Camelot, I discovered an ancient prophecy. This prophecy spoke of the demise of Camelot and it's king, me, if certain paths continued.”  
  
“What paths?” Gwaine asked, frowning.  
  
“Mainly, the persecution of magic and those who wield it. I had already considered changing the laws on magic before I found the ancient scroll. There is also a prophecy of the most powerful sorcerer named Emrys. This person is destined to help unite the land with magic and stand beside the Once a Future King,” he paused for effect. “Merlin is Emrys.” There was silence in the room, all eyes on him.  
“To save our kingdom and my reign, we chose to participate in a druid ritual to tie magic and the crown together; solidifying our connection and goal to work side by side.” 

“But, Sire, what does this mean?” Leon asked and most of the knights were nodding, as if they too wondered.  
  
Arthur glanced around the room at his devoted friends, and wife. This was his time to make sure they understood. He smiled and said, “It means Merlin finally gets recognition for all that he has done for me, for Camelot and for all of you.” He ignored the red tipped ears beside him and continued. “I am officially declaring Merlin...Emrys, Royal Mage of the Court, and Paramount to the King. He is a Lord in his own right as Emrys, as a Dragonlord, and Sovereign to all magical peoples.” Merlin had turned his head and was gaping back at him. As was everyone else. “I will officially announce that magic will no longer be against the law during the Beltane feast in a few days and I will make known Merlin's new role, as well.”  


The silence was broken by Gwen, who raised from her chair and walked over to Merlin, hugged him and said, “Thank you Merlin. I know you will serve Arthur and this kingdom well, as you have always done.” Arthur could have kissed her right there for breaking the tension. Soon, Gwaine and Percival were up and over at Merlin's side congratulating him. 

Merlin looked thoroughly embarrassed, yet as he stood to receive their best wishes, he stood tall to Arthur's right. Exactly where he should be.  


********************

 

 _Epilogue:_  


  
“Is that breakfast? I'm starved,” Merlin said from behind Arthur's dressing screen.  
  
“You are always starved. I thought by now you would have put on some weight what with all the feasts I've had for you.” Arthur sat at the table and doled out the food on two plates, making sure to add extra of the pastries Merlin loved on his.  
  
“Yes, now I finally get to enjoy these feasts, instead of work at them. Except for the magic. I love that part.”  
  
Arthur had suggested that Merlin create some whimsical demonstrations after the public announcement at the Beltane feast. Something to show the people that magic could be fun, and not dangerous. And that the king and castle was fully in support of it's return. It worked far beyond what he had imagined.  
Merlin had been swarmed with support and cheers, thus creating the deSire for more magic at every feast since.  
  
Arthur had observed Merlin as he performed this magic. His radiant smile, body practically glowing with excitement to finally be able to share his gifts openly. He truly was a wonder. Arthur's wonder. 

“Don't hurt yourself with all that thinking, Sire,” Merlin mocked, slathering his bread with extra honey until it was practically sodden. 

“What are you even doing here? Wasn't it Gwen's night?” Arthur asked, realizing there had been less and less of Gwen's nights and many more Merlin nights. 

Merlin shrugged and kept eating. Then he paused and formed a wicked smile. “You didn't seem to mind last night.” 

No, he never minded being sheathed in Merlin's body and love. Arthur guessed Gwen realized it too and that was why she visited him less and now, mostly during times when creating an heir was likely.  
  
“What have you heard from Mordred?” Arthur asked. Sending Mordred out as emissary to the druids had been an excellent idea, but when he had suggested that Mordred reach out to Morgana, Merlin had shattered almost everything glass in his room. 

Merlin sighed put down his fork. “I fear it is not going well. Mordred is trying to get through to her but she refuses to believe. Even though magic has been legal for months, even though Morgana has lost all of her allies because of this...” He trailed off shaking his head. “I fear her thirst for revenge and suffering has brought her to madness. Mordred says she is... unwell.”  
  
Arthur had heard the rumors of his sister's irrational behavior from neighboring kingdoms as well as the magical's who had come to pledge their loyalty to Camelot and Emrys. He had hoped to bridge the riff between them but he didn't know if that was possible. 

“I want to bring Mordred home,” Merlin said. “The longer he is away and in her grasp...We can try again another time.” 

“You still fear their alliance? I thought we had taken care of that.” Merlin still held Mordred at an arms length but Arthur trusted that would dissipate with time. 

“Yes, well. You never know,” Merlin mumbled, then, “Gaius is hiring a new assistant. One of the boys in the lower town has an affinity to healing magic, so I suggested he hire him. I am too busy these days with all my new duties. 

“Yes, and remember we leave at the end of the week to visit Mercia.”  
  
Merlin rolled his eyes. “We don't have to unite all the kingdoms instantaneously, Arthur,” he sipped his mead and sat back in the chair. 

“I know, I just want each kingdom to understand our position now. It's quite a change to champion magic instead of eradicate it. They need to hear it from me personally and see you beside me.”  


“Well, that is something they will see forevermore.”  


Arthur smiled. They had time to strengthen the land with alliances and infuse the kingdom with magic under Merlin's watchful eye. He could want nothing more than this man next to him every step of the way.

 

-End

 

  
  
  


  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  


  


 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a little comment love- I'll read all of them
> 
>  Bond Spell:  
> Behwirfan ond bændan pas sawols on widan feore = bond and exchange our souls forever
> 
> Soul Bond Mantra:
> 
> As your heart beats, my heat beats  
> As you love, I love  
> As you live, I live
> 
> Merlin's Crown:  
> Fire> candles, dragon's blood sedum, rosemary, angelica  
> Air> merlin feathers, moss, cottonwood, frankincense, mistletoe  
> Water> willow, shells, apple blossoms  
> Earth> crystals, ivy


End file.
